He Turned Down Sex..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

OP, we've all been there. Getting something started with a new person who has potential and trying to figure out how to proceed. As I mentioned yesterday, not every man is interested in having sex with a new person as soon as it is possible. I wish women would stop believing this. Whether a man has had one partner or 50, they are always nervous getting into bed with a new woman. He likes you or he would not have called. Willing to bet here that he will make some kind of advance with the next date or one after at most.

Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who is taking his time and interested in getting to know you better so that he can be more comfortable once the time comes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

OP, we've all been there. Getting something started with a new person who has potential and trying to figure out how to proceed. As I mentioned yesterday, not every man is interested in having sex with a new person as soon as it is possible. I wish women would stop believing this. Whether a man has had one partner or 50, they are always nervous getting into bed with a new woman. He likes you or he would not have called. Willing to bet here that he will make some kind of advance with the next date or one after at most.

Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who is taking his time and interested in getting to know you better so that he can be more comfortable once the time comes?

Op here. You're right. The last time I was single was at 25/26. I never had a guy wanting to wait. I was the one that wanted to wait. It's new territory for me but maybe it's because I'm dealing with a more mature man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

You've had three dates! Why don't you wait till you actually know each other before you exchange bodily fluids? Geez.

[Anonymous]

You seem borderline obsessed with this dude. Maybe he can read the desperation and that's what's putting him off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

OP, we've all been there. Getting something started with a new person who has potential and trying to figure out how to proceed. As I mentioned yesterday, not every man is interested in having sex with a new person as soon as it is possible. I wish women would stop believing this. Whether a man has had one partner or 50, they are always nervous getting into bed with a new woman. He likes you or he would not have called. Willing to bet here that he will make some kind of advance with the next date or one after at most.

Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who is taking his time and interested in getting to know you better so that he can be more comfortable once the time comes?

Op here. You're right. The last time I was single was at 25/26. I never had a guy wanting to wait. I was the one that wanted to wait. It's new territory for me but maybe it's because I'm dealing with a more mature man.

Exactly. You were in a three year relationship. Please relax and enjoy yourself on the next date, no expectations. And report back.

[Anonymous]

Your question was already answered.

The thread was deleted.

You post again.

Aren't you quite the catch, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem borderline obsessed with this dude. Maybe he can read the desperation and that's what's putting him off

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your question was already answered.

The thread was deleted.

You post again.

Aren't you quite the catch, lol.

And this.



Chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem borderline obsessed with this dude. Maybe he can read the desperation and that's what's putting him off

This.

Right, and everyone else on DCUM is gorgeous, sophisticated and polished and has no insecurities about dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem borderline obsessed with this dude. Maybe he can read the desperation and that's what's putting him off

This.

Right, and everyone else on DCUM is gorgeous, sophisticated and polished and has no insecurities about dating.

No one said that. But OP has posted two threads on the same topic in less than 48 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

OP, we've all been there. Getting something started with a new person who has potential and trying to figure out how to proceed. As I mentioned yesterday, not every man is interested in having sex with a new person as soon as it is possible. I wish women would stop believing this. Whether a man has had one partner or 50, they are always nervous getting into bed with a new woman. He likes you or he would not have called. Willing to bet here that he will make some kind of advance with the next date or one after at most.

Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who is taking his time and interested in getting to know you better so that he can be more comfortable once the time comes?

Op here. You're right. The last time I was single was at 25/26. I never had a guy wanting to wait. I was the one that wanted to wait. It's new territory for me but maybe it's because I'm dealing with a more mature man.

Jesus wasn't there a sex and the city episode about this? women over think things. Men want sex with women they want. The end. He is either dating other people which is fine since you arent committed. Or he is just not into you. Even men who are "nervous"" (from another PP) still have sex with women whom they like and are available. women really have no clue how men think. Honestly OP, you need to pull back. Don't call or text him until he reaches out to you. Don't take him up on the first thing he offers. he needs to chase a little bit, believe me you will be whole lot more interestig to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem borderline obsessed with this dude. Maybe he can read the desperation and that's what's putting him off

This.

Right, and everyone else on DCUM is gorgeous, sophisticated and polished and has no insecurities about dating.

Maybe so, but I think you have issues with rejection and/or accepting no.

[Anonymous]

New to this thread and missed the other, so forgive me if you've already answered this, but what reason did he give for turning down the offer? (it's late...I'm not ready...etc)

Why not ask him?

Besides that, I agree with other responses (depending on the reason he gave you for turning down the offer): he had an early morning the next day, he had bubble guts, or he wants something more/long-term and wants to take his time and/or doesn't believe in casual sex and will not have sex unless he's in a real relationship with the person.

Did you make it 100% clear you were offering sex? He could've thought he was just turning down small talk and coffee and didn't want to put himself in that position, knowing he'd want more.

Bottom line is that none of us know the guy, so we have no idea what his reasoning could be.

Just ask. Think through your wording but ASK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm telling you, he had poop-related issues.

Ha! This and chill. What's the rush?

[Anonymous]

Let him make the next move. Be flirty but not needy/clingy. Don't invite him back to your place. If he wants to sleep with he will let you know without a doubt.