He Turned Down Sex..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Pretty much, yes.

[Anonymous]

Is he very religious?

He may think fornication is a sin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

My husband waited almost 3 weeks before sleeping with me. It was a combination of two things: he really liked me and thought it could be serious, so he was showing me respect by waiting and two, his sex drive isn't that high so it wasn't a huge sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Pretty much, yes.

Except! If the guy doesn't want to deal with, right then and there, starting an exclusive physical relationship with someone who will then have expectations of him, he will duck out. Maybe the next time.

[Anonymous]

I'm gonna be divorced soon. I haven't dated in over 10 years. I have noooooo idea how many dates I will need or want before having sex with a strange woman for the first time in over a decade. It's gonna be all kinds of weird and scary!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm gonna be divorced soon. I haven't dated in over 10 years. I have noooooo idea how many dates I will need or want before having sex with a strange woman for the first time in over a decade. It's gonna be all kinds of weird and scary!

Are you the one initiating the divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Have you met men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he very religious?

He may think fornication is a sin.

Better rule this out sooner than later. Worse than herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm gonna be divorced soon. I haven't dated in over 10 years. I have noooooo idea how many dates I will need or want before having sex with a strange woman for the first time in over a decade. It's gonna be all kinds of weird and scary!

Are you the one initiating the divorce?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Have you met men?

But we don't want schools telling our girls what to wear to school? We can't suggest that a girl's lack of clothing could be distracting to a teenage hormone-filled boy, but yet a guy wouldn't be turning down an opportunity for sex on a third date? A guy wouldn't turn down sex with a girl he hardly knows, but if he and a woman have been drinking, it's on him to assess her ability to consent? And if he's wrong, it's rape? Why are we saying both things are true? Isn't this a giant contradiction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Have you met men?

But we don't want schools telling our girls what to wear to school? We can't suggest that a girl's lack of clothing could be distracting to a teenage hormone-filled boy, but yet a guy wouldn't be turning down an opportunity for sex on a third date? A guy wouldn't turn down sex with a girl he hardly knows, but if he and a woman have been drinking, it's on him to assess her ability to consent? And if he's wrong, it's rape? Why are we saying both things are true? Isn't this a giant contradiction?

Many women want to sneer at men as animals while, at the same time, holding them to the standards and responsibilities of humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Have you met men?

When a guy is looking for a long-term relationship he may be less likely to rush things. Sex changes a relationship, maybe he wants to enjoy a bit more of getting to know her before sex becomes the focus. When you have a new sex partner having sex is great and I want to have sex all the time and want to be with someone that feels the same way, this typically prevents me from getting to know my partner as well as I would like to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it really that impossible to believe a guy may really like a woman, but want to see her more than three times before having sex with her? Do we really think so little of them, that they have zero restraint or thoughts or emotions? If a woman offers a hint of being open to him sexually he has to go for it, or she'll assume he has no interest? This really sounds like we're assuming a guy is like an animal with no thoughts of his own to restrain his sexual impulses. Which is a huge contradiction to all the other messages out there.

Have you met men?

But we don't want schools telling our girls what to wear to school? We can't suggest that a girl's lack of clothing could be distracting to a teenage hormone-filled boy, but yet a guy wouldn't be turning down an opportunity for sex on a third date? A guy wouldn't turn down sex with a girl he hardly knows, but if he and a woman have been drinking, it's on him to assess her ability to consent? And if he's wrong, it's rape? Why are we saying both things are true? Isn't this a giant contradiction?

Of course we should hold men to a high standard and let them know that certain behaviors are unacceptable. And that's exactly the point-these behaviors and attitudes are unacceptable, and yet they are perpetrated, daily- on men against women. So I will stop making comments like the above once those acts end. I would be thrilled- beyond happy- when that day comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

Give it two more dates for him to make the move. If he doesn't, try again. If he says no, ask him what's up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He asked me out again yesterday after saying he had a good time. Wouldn't he just ghost if he wasn't interested? I get I need to chill but I don't know how I handle going forward. Should I not mention anything and don't make advances until he does?

You've had three dates! Why don't you wait till you actually know each other before you exchange bodily fluids? Geez.

Guy here and 3 dates is definitely plenty for me but, to each his own.