What to do about DD who won't get up for school?

[Anonymous]

If she misses the bus, then you deduct your 'taxi fee' from her allowance. Figure out how much it costs to take an uber and then charge her that. We also let her sleep in til noon or 2 PM twice and miss school, let her get an unexcused absence. Both are logical consequences. The money got to her. Took a couple of weeks of getting no allowance because it was all taxi fees.

[Anonymous]

Has she been checked for anemia? If she's healthy, then you're going to have to use some serious incentives to get her up and out. Does she have a phone? Take it away and tell her she gets it when she's out the door on time.

[Anonymous]

I know multiple kids that had mini breakdowns in the spring of 8th grade.

Can't get up... won't go to school are classic signs of depression.

Ask her, what can I do to help you? Give tons of positive feedback.

Call your pediatrician.

Have her see a therapist, the school counselors are useless.

[Anonymous]

What does she care about OP? Her phone? A sport? An activity?

Sit her down and remind her that school is her JOB. Keeping her grades up etc is her way of contributing to the household. When she's late, she's risking all of that. If she can't do her JOB she doesn't get to do anything fun. It's not about grounding really. But "oh you were late 2 days this week NO WAY IN HELL you are going to Mindy's house today". Or "you were late so you can not go to soccer this week. Explain to your coach it's because you were not being responsible". Etc etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she misses the bus, then you deduct your 'taxi fee' from her allowance. Figure out how much it costs to take an uber and then charge her that. We also let her sleep in til noon or 2 PM twice and miss school, let her get an unexcused absence. Both are logical consequences. The money got to her. Took a couple of weeks of getting no allowance because it was all taxi fees.

What? She doesn't get to take a taxi to school. She just gets the next bus that comes by. And her allowance is $2 a week - it would take her like 2 -3 months to cover the cost of a taxi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she misses the bus, then you deduct your 'taxi fee' from her allowance. Figure out how much it costs to take an uber and then charge her that. We also let her sleep in til noon or 2 PM twice and miss school, let her get an unexcused absence. Both are logical consequences. The money got to her. Took a couple of weeks of getting no allowance because it was all taxi fees.

What? She doesn't get to take a taxi to school. She just gets the next bus that comes by. And her allowance is $2 a week - it would take her like 2 -3 months to cover the cost of a taxi.

$2 a week for an 8th grader? What's even the point of that?

[Anonymous]

As other people have suggested, I would make sure there is nothing wrong physically or emotionally that is causing her to act this way. Has she gone to school without a problem in the past?

After that, I would explain to her that she MUST go to school on time and don't play around with this at all. Don't nag her in the mornings but if she does not get to school on time, I would have a series of escalating consequences - no phone time, no TV, no socialization this weekend, whatever it is that would motivate her. If her behavior continues, a talk with the school truancy officer might be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Ask her why she doesn't like getting ready for school. Is she too cozy in bed? Too tired? Threaten her with truancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she misses the bus, then you deduct your 'taxi fee' from her allowance. Figure out how much it costs to take an uber and then charge her that. We also let her sleep in til noon or 2 PM twice and miss school, let her get an unexcused absence. Both are logical consequences. The money got to her. Took a couple of weeks of getting no allowance because it was all taxi fees.

What? She doesn't get to take a taxi to school. She just gets the next bus that comes by. And her allowance is $2 a week - it would take her like 2 -3 months to cover the cost of a taxi.

$2 a week for an 8th grader? What's even the point of that?

They live in an apt if you read the whole thread so maybe finances are an issue.

I would take away the phone OP even if she is on transportation. Make sure she knows ahead of time that that is the new plan then carry it out. If there is an emergency she can borrow a phone from someone. I am pretty sure once she has lost the phone a couple of times she will start getting out the door on time.

[Anonymous]

She might be pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I'd schedule a pediatrician appointment to check for medical issues, and also because if there isn't an underlying physical issue she might shape up out of embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she misses the bus, then you deduct your 'taxi fee' from her allowance. Figure out how much it costs to take an uber and then charge her that. We also let her sleep in til noon or 2 PM twice and miss school, let her get an unexcused absence. Both are logical consequences. The money got to her. Took a couple of weeks of getting no allowance because it was all taxi fees.

What? She doesn't get to take a taxi to school. She just gets the next bus that comes by. And her allowance is $2 a week - it would take her like 2 -3 months to cover the cost of a taxi.

You misunderstood. Most of us writing from the suburbs would not be able to "send kid on next bus" - Uber wasn't to say she got to go in a taxi, but to find out what the price was.

If her allowance is small, she can pay you in time - I think you have some silver to polish (or whatever), drapes to iron.... My kid doesn't know it yet, but he owes me an hour of picking up twigs in the yard since he wasted an hour of my time today.

[Anonymous]

ADHD? Is your DD procrastinating?
When she looks for her socks, for example, does she start thinking about re arranging her jewelry box which leads to a new outfit b/c she found a different pair of earrings she decided to wear, etc.?

[Anonymous]

It could be inattentive ADHD. The one where the kid daydreams, doesn't pay attention, is off in his own world, has problems with tardiness, procrastination and organization, and forgets to hand in work.

I wake up DS at 6:45am so that he can be ready at 8am. And that's with yelling and micromanaging. He has severe inattentive ADHD.

[Anonymous]

I would take her phone and make her earn it back by getting to school on time. I had a DS who did this and in his case he was depressed and very anxious, but you know your kid... if this doesn't sound like it could be, try finding her currency - i.e., phone, electronics, wifi--- whatever she's willing to work for.