Thinking of encouraging a friend to give up custody of her kids

[Anonymous]

I guess this is why the men always find love first, they appear to be squeaky clean after the marriage meltdown. It is the mothers with the dirty minivans and the stained furniture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are crazy. I am a single mom and I'd love to find love again. But if it impacted by kids's lives negatively by even 1%, I'd be like BUH-BYE. Easiest decision ever.

Total no-brainer.

If I ever become a single mom, I will expect to remain single. And that would be totally fine. My kids come first.

[Anonymous]

Her kids are her kids forever. As she has already seen, relationships can end. Badly. She hasn't even lived with this guy yet so she has no idea if they are even compatible long-term but you think she should abandon her kids (who did not ask to be born into this shit show) to give it a go with guy number 2? Do you have any idea what the success rate on second marriages is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a boyfriend. So, she should tell new boyfriend, that she is sorry, she will have to wait until the youngest is 18?

In short? Yes. Or he figures out how to move to where she is. Or when the boys are older, like 12 or 13 they may have more say in the agreement. But jesus, OP you sound like a total jerk. Children always come first to a good mother. Always. Yes, mom must sacrifice getting married again if its best for her boys. Thats called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a boyfriend. So, she should tell new boyfriend, that she is sorry, she will have to wait until the youngest is 18?

Wtf is wrojg with you OP?!?!?!

Quit talking to your "friend" before you ruin her life, and even worse, her poor boys' lives.

[Anonymous]

Why can't she hire a kivkass lawyer and get the custody agreement so she can go and exDH can come get them 2-3 times a year or she would bring them back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has been divorced for 4 years and her ex has shared custody. He is remarried with a new baby.
He was a jerk, and gloated when he was the first to remarry.
She struggled with the two boys when they were toddlers. Even though he had joint custody, he never saw the kids, and put his romantic life first. The boys are now 6 and 7.
She met someone (great guy) who lives in a different state and has a business, so he can't move to be with her. Her ex said that he would enforce the agreement and make her stay in the state with his two sons.
I really want the best for her since she has put up with so much, dating was hard with the kids plus she worked non stop. I am thinking she should stick it to the ex and tell him that she is giving up custody to leave the state and remarry.
Two things could happen. The new wife of the ex will likely balk and refuse to have the boys full time. Then ex will come around. Other possibility, ex takes the kids, and she sees them 2-4 times a year., maybe summers. Either way, she can marry and move on.
Has anyone seen this work? Is it a poor suggestion?

Are you crazy? Unless she's a terrible mother, she will not leave her kids!

[Anonymous]

OMG, this cannot be real. You do not abandon your children even if they cause significant others to leave you or otherwise prevent you from living the life you want. Being a parent means that your children's needs come first and you do everything in your power to shield them from harm, teach them, and give them every opportunity for success in the world. You do this no matter the cost to your personal life and most (good) parents would never even regret doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a boyfriend. So, she should tell new boyfriend, that she is sorry, she will have to wait until the youngest is 18?

Yes, that's exactly what she should tell him. She (or should I say you...) needs to buy a vibrator to keep her company and put the needs of her kids first.

[Anonymous]

Why such sexist posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't she hire a kivkass lawyer and get the custody agreement so she can go and exDH can come get them 2-3 times a year or she would bring them back?

Smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't she hire a kivkass lawyer and get the custody agreement so she can go and exDH can come get them 2-3 times a year or she would bring them back?

I thought it would be cheaper to threaten ex first. Ex does not want the kids, but does not want her to be with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

"Either way, she can marry and move on."

Huh?? Why on earth would you imagine she wants to move on from her own children? You're crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a boyfriend. So, she should tell new boyfriend, that she is sorry, she will have to wait until the youngest is 18?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

This is the craziest post I've read all day. You clearly don't have kids. Don't give any advice