How do I let my fiancée know she made a terrible mistake with her hair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she likes it, that is what counts.

If she asks your opinion, give it.

Golden Rule: Don't be a dick.

Whether she likes it counts, but it's not the only thing that counts. If she rates hairstyle "A" a 9 and hairstyle "B" an 8 while her significant other rates them 2 and 8 respectively, then she should go with hairstyle "B".

I remember when my wife got a mommy-bob. It was horrible. She grew her hair out, and it looks awesome now. I tried not to be a dick about it, but when she asked me how I liked her short hair, I didn't pretend I liked it as well as her long hair. I didn't make a federal case out of it. At the end of the day, it's her hair and her choice. But I definitely had a preference, and I'm happy she took that into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Keep your mouth shut unless she asks and then don't say anything stupid! Try something like "tell me what you think, but I was fine with the way it was before". But you still might get a kick in the groin. She will hear comments from her girlfriends that she will listen to. You're just an accessory.

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, no wonder there are so many crap marriages on this board. OP please do not get hitched if your relationship cannot withstand honest about a hair color.

"Christ, your hair looks like shit!" is not what you say of course. But it's fine to say that you don't care for it. My husband shaved his goatee and I told him I liked it better the other way. I've worn outfits he told me he wasn't wild about. Doesn't mean we're dicks, doesn't even mean he has to grow a goatee back or I have to get rid of certain outfits. But it's totally fine to be honest about it geez.

Also what's with the weak, emotionally-fragile women here who take someone's opinion about their hair as a threat to their well-being? Strong women are okay with honesty from their partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your mouth shut unless she asks and then don't say anything stupid! Try something like "tell me what you think, but I was fine with the way it was before". But you still might get a kick in the groin. She will hear comments from her girlfriends that she will listen to. You're just an accessory.

Nah, that's not true. Most women want to please their partners. I want my DH to continue to like the way I look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

+1 if anyone ever doubted it, they can just read this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy crap, no wonder there are so many crap marriages on this board. OP please do not get hitched if your relationship cannot withstand honest about a hair color.

"Christ, your hair looks like shit!" is not what you say of course. But it's fine to say that you don't care for it. My husband shaved his goatee and I told him I liked it better the other way. I've worn outfits he told me he wasn't wild about. Doesn't mean we're dicks, doesn't even mean he has to grow a goatee back or I have to get rid of certain outfits. But it's totally fine to be honest about it geez.

Also what's with the weak, emotionally-fragile women here who take someone's opinion about their hair as a threat to their well-being? Strong women are okay with honesty from their partner.

That is not how I approached it. If it's a huge change she might be feeling iffy about it too and doesn't need her fiancé going WOW I HATE SHORT HAIR ON YOU IT LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER LONGER. It's probably not "fixable" in the sense she can just revert back to what it was right now so why not let her grow it out and later when she asks how you like her hair admit you like it the way you do.

Telling her you don't like her hair is going to make her feel like every day you're looking at her as if she ruined her looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

+1 if anyone ever doubted it, they can just read this post.

Yes we are simple. Why don't you tell your DH "I'm the same person" after 50lb weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

+1 if anyone ever doubted it, they can just read this post.

Yes we are simple. Why don't you tell your DH "I'm the same person" after 50lb weight gain.

Isn't that the same thing he would say after his 50+ lb weight gain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

+1 if anyone ever doubted it, they can just read this post.

Yes we are simple. Why don't you tell your DH "I'm the same person" after 50lb weight gain.

Isn't that the same thing he would say after his 50+ lb weight gain?

Gaining weight does not change who a person is. Y'all are really shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy crap, no wonder there are so many crap marriages on this board. OP please do not get hitched if your relationship cannot withstand honest about a hair color.

"Christ, your hair looks like shit!" is not what you say of course. But it's fine to say that you don't care for it. My husband shaved his goatee and I told him I liked it better the other way. I've worn outfits he told me he wasn't wild about. Doesn't mean we're dicks, doesn't even mean he has to grow a goatee back or I have to get rid of certain outfits. But it's totally fine to be honest about it geez.

Also what's with the weak, emotionally-fragile women here who take someone's opinion about their hair as a threat to their well-being? Strong women are okay with honesty from their partner.

That is not how I approached it. If it's a huge change she might be feeling iffy about it too and doesn't need her fiancé going WOW I HATE SHORT HAIR ON YOU IT LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER LONGER. It's probably not "fixable" in the sense she can just revert back to what it was right now so why not let her grow it out and later when she asks how you like her hair admit you like it the way you do.

Telling her you don't like her hair is going to make her feel like every day you're looking at her as if she ruined her looks.

Or that she's a different person now and it's a huge mistake.

[Anonymous]

I'm in camp tell her.

Tell her so she can know the kind of person you are and she can decide i that's the kind of person she wants to be married to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

+1 if anyone ever doubted it, they can just read this post.

Yes we are simple. Why don't you tell your DH "I'm the same person" after 50lb weight gain.

Isn't that the same thing he would say after his 50+ lb weight gain?

Gaining weight does not change who a person is. Y'all are really shallow.

Whoooosh

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't tell her, then she might keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Miss the old her." WTH? She's still the same person.

My god. Men are so simple.

If that were how it worked, men would be in love with every good and kind person they met. The fact is, looks do matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in camp tell her.

Tell her so she can know the kind of person you are and she can decide i that's the kind of person she wants to be married to.

Oh give me a break. So you're in camp "keep all your opinions bottled up so you don't hurt anyone's feelings, even if you say it kindly and she's just way over sensitive?" Camp "we can't even communicate honestly"? Glad you're not my spouse.