If your parents scrimped and saved to send you to private school, do you appreciate it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Poor little rich girl wants to understand the lower middle class? Like you're so different from them?

[Anonymous]

OP at your current tuition you will have spent over $1M on tuition by the time your kids reach 12th grade.

Ask yourself if its worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Poor little rich girl wants to understand the lower middle class? Like you're so different from them?

OMG where is my barf bag....are you kidding me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

please please PLEASE tell me you are a troll. who uses the word "populace"?? and wishing they had done to PS so they could have a better understanding of the lower middle class?

what....the....FFFFffffff!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing many of my friends who send their kids to public school went to private school themselves. And vice versa.

We are currently scrimping and saving to send our 2 kids to private middle and high school. Our income is good (HHI of $320,000), but it still means a small house that needs updating, old cars, clothes from Old Navy, modest vacations, etc. We spend $8000 per month on tuition. After saving for retirement and college (both of which are in good shape), we don't have much left over.

We think it's worth it because we really like the school our kids attend. However, I'm curious if they will think it was worth it. (Most of their friends in our neighborhood attend public school in our Bethesda neighborhood. Our kids do a decent job in school, but are not academic super stars who would excel in public school, and therefore are the types of kids who benefit most from private school, in our opinion.)

TIA! I'm really only seeking advice from people who went to private school themselves as kids, not from people who wish to criticize our decision to spend money on tuition for middle and high school.

You lost me there.

Then I guess you don't live in the District or very close in. Otherwise, this would make complete sense and you wouldn't be so "lost."

Like, my aunts and cousins who live in Topeka, Kansas are always confused why I don't live in a big house like theirs, since I'm a fancy big-city lawyer and my aunt is a paramedic married to a teacher. HOW, they wonder, can their house be bigger??!!?! Will wonders never cease???

[Anonymous]

Where do you work that puts you among the "lower" middle class so often? Lower middle class are people like the family on Roseanne. And why do you separate it out like that when most people would simply say "middle class"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an elite private school...in my mid 30s now.... While I appreciate the fact that it likely helped me get into an Ivy League university, I sometimes wish I had gone through the public school experience to get a better understanding of lower middle class life. I think it would have helped me relate better to folks in my workplace now and in general, connect with other ppl. The vast majority of the US populace go to public schools so by putting kids in a rarified bubble of elitism, they miss out on understanding and being able to connect with regular lower middle class folk.

Poor little rich girl wants to understand the lower middle class? Like you're so different from them?

OMG where is my barf bag....are you kidding me?

Really, you're questioning the eye roller and not the spoiled brat in the first quoted post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is very off if you cannot comfortably pay for private on that income.

Disagree. We make more and couldn't afford it. An 8k a month mortgage would be too high on that income, let alone 8k + their mortgage.

Right?!? We make more too, probably like you, but there is NO WAY we are sending our 3 kids to private at 30K per year!!!

[Anonymous]

Probably not OP. You can't do things for your children and expect gratitude later on. That's not how it works. Children are inherently selfish - that's how they grow away from you. You're bound to be disappointed if you're expecting them to be grateful for any of the sacrifices you've made.

This is why I always say that if you have to ask if private school tuition is "worth" it - you can't afford it. Public school is just fine. Private school is for people who have gobs and gobs of $$$$ - so much so that they don't know what to do with it. It's not worth the sacrifices you're making - living in a small, dated house or not taking the vacations you'd like. It's your one life too. You need to enjoy it while you are still able to. It's not like you're torn between private school and the work house. There's a great public school they could attend that would enable you to fix up your house and take amazing trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably not OP. You can't do things for your children and expect gratitude later on. That's not how it works. Children are inherently selfish - that's how they grow away from you. You're bound to be disappointed if you're expecting them to be grateful for any of the sacrifices you've made.

This is why I always say that if you have to ask if private school tuition is "worth" it - you can't afford it. Public school is just fine. Private school is for people who have gobs and gobs of $$$$ - so much so that they don't know what to do with it. It's not worth the sacrifices you're making - living in a small, dated house or not taking the vacations you'd like. It's your one life too. You need to enjoy it while you are still able to. It's not like you're torn between private school and the work house. There's a great public school they could attend that would enable you to fix up your house and take amazing trips.

+1

Mint tells me we made over 40k a month last year after taxes. We still don't send to private school. Why would we when we living in a school district with amazing public schools? Waste of $$$ IMO. We save a lot instead, let the kids do any extracurriculars they want (including private tennis, skiing, and horseback riding lessons) and spend 50k on travel every year. And we're still money ahead.

[Anonymous]

My parents sacrificed a great deal to send my siblings and I to private K-12. While I recognize that I received an excellent education and I appreciate the sacrifices they made, I think they made the wrong financial decision. They simply aren't able to afford retirement.

My siblings and I learned from their mistakes. We purchased homes in great school districts and are sending our kids to public school. We are saving for retirement, and we are helping them out since they are strapped for cash.

We also have money to travel with our kids. we never took vacations that involved airplanes or passports when I was a kid, and I want my children to see the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing many of my friends who send their kids to public school went to private school themselves. And vice versa.

We are currently scrimping and saving to send our 2 kids to private middle and high school. Our income is good (HHI of $320,000), but it still means a small house that needs updating, old cars, clothes from Old Navy, modest vacations, etc. We spend $8000 per month on tuition. After saving for retirement and college (both of which are in good shape), we don't have much left over.

We think it's worth it because we really like the school our kids attend. However, I'm curious if they will think it was worth it. (Most of their friends in our neighborhood attend public school in our Bethesda neighborhood. Our kids do a decent job in school, but are not academic super stars who would excel in public school, and therefore are the types of kids who benefit most from private school, in our opinion.)

TIA! I'm really only seeking advice from people who went to private school themselves as kids, not from people who wish to criticize our decision to spend money on tuition for middle and high school.

You lost me there.

Why? They're spending $80,000 to $100,000 on childcare every year (taking into account summer programs). HHI of $320, probably paying $100k in taxes. So they're spending almost half their after tax income on school. That's absolutely crazy and no wonder cash is tight.

Given that you live in one of the best public school districts in the country AND your kids are only doing moderately well, yeah, private is a waste. If your kids are only doing mediocre in private school, they're not going to be superstars in college. So if you're measuring success by their professional success, they're never going to be superstars on the path they're on. Or, if they are professional superstars, it'll be in a job that they could have gotten with a crappy public school degree too. If you're measuring success by other things, like happiness, then sure maybe they might be happier at private. Or maybe they're happier at public. Who knows. But you're spending an awful lot of money/stress on something that's like a 50/50 likelihood (of being more intangibly happy). I think there are also dangerous messages to send to kids that you spend half your household income on "experiential intangibles" for them.

I went to privates for 5 years in my childhood. It was no better or worse than public for me.

It's insane and a horrible financial decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably not OP. You can't do things for your children and expect gratitude later on. That's not how it works. Children are inherently selfish - that's how they grow away from you. You're bound to be disappointed if you're expecting them to be grateful for any of the sacrifices you've made.

This is why I always say that if you have to ask if private school tuition is "worth" it - you can't afford it. Public school is just fine. Private school is for people who have gobs and gobs of $$$$ - so much so that they don't know what to do with it. It's not worth the sacrifices you're making - living in a small, dated house or not taking the vacations you'd like. It's your one life too. You need to enjoy it while you are still able to. It's not like you're torn between private school and the work house. There's a great public school they could attend that would enable you to fix up your house and take amazing trips.

This is very good advice. I would personally pull my kids out and spend the money this way

Extra 8k a month:

2k - nicer house
2k - diners out, vacation fund, cleaning lady
4K - invest in the market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents sacrificed a great deal to send my siblings and I to private K-12. While I recognize that I received an excellent education and I appreciate the sacrifices they made, I think they made the wrong financial decision. They simply aren't able to afford retirement.

My siblings and I learned from their mistakes. We purchased homes in great school districts and are sending our kids to public school. We are saving for retirement, and we are helping them out since they are strapped for cash.

We also have money to travel with our kids. we never took vacations that involved airplanes or passports when I was a kid, and I want my children to see the world.

This can happen and to working professionals. My parents invested a lot of their income and sent us to public. My in-laws made more money but spent more of it and spent over a million dollars on private school when it wasn't necessary due to decent public school options. I can't imagine how much more money they would have had they invested that one million dollars. Such a waste.

[Anonymous]

I went to Sidwell. I guess I sort of appreciate it, but also felt a bit inferior to the much wealthier people there. We did not take the same vacations, have as nice a house, have a beach house, etc. It was much more low key in those days than now, but there were still plenty of very wealthy people. Sometimes I wonder if my drive to work and make a lot of money comes from always feeling lower class in high school. College was a much different story - a much more socioeconomically diverse group.