Should step-parents be on the hook to fund college for step-kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

This is not possible now. Look at how college costs have gone up. Even if you do 2 years at CC and transfer to a state school.

[Anonymous]

Would he pay for bio kids? Then he needs to pay for step kids. At least a portion given the situation with the bio dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

This is not possible now. Look at how college costs have gone up. Even if you do 2 years at CC and transfer to a state school.

Not the PP. It depends on when you went to college. I went before minimum wage hit $3 and the relative costs to earnings is about the same today. It's hard but if you work and don't waste money it's doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Morally, yes.

Yes. The parents who are unable to pay are utterly immoral. Immoral!

"Unable to pay" is not the same thing as "able to pay, but won't." If you can help your kids with college, you should help your kids with college, within your ability to do so.

[Anonymous]

If he thinks that all kids should fund college themselves them no he has no obligation. If he thinks he shouldnt help them purely because they are his step kids then he is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

This might not have anything to do with being a stepparent. I know people for refused to pay for their bio kids college. Is it a Pull Yourself Up by our Bootstraps kinda thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

This is not possible now. Look at how college costs have gone up. Even if you do 2 years at CC and transfer to a state school.

Not the PP. It depends on when you went to college. I went before minimum wage hit $3 and the relative costs to earnings is about the same today. It's hard but if you work and don't waste money it's doable.

It's more than hard. It's really not feasible for most students.

In 1970, the minimum wage was $1.70. Annual tuition for a private school was $2550. You could work around 25 hours per week to pay that tuition.

In 2014, the minimum wage was $7.25. Annual tuition for a private school was around $45,000. You would have to work around 90 hours per week to pay that tuition in 2014. Even if you went to an in-state school, you would have to work 40 hours a week at minimum wage to pay for school.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that ANY parent is obligated to pay for college for ANY child. I do think that if a step-parent would feel obligated to pay for the college of their bio-kids, that obligation should extend to step-kids, particularly in a situation where the step-parent had been in the kids' lives since they were very young.

As a remarried person, I also cannot imagine the conversation with my husband where he refused to use OUR money to support MY child in anything. Sure, she has a bio-dad, but DH and I don't have separate accounts, and if he didn't consider DD to be his child, we would be getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Can the child sign an emancipation document so at least the stingy step-parent's income doesn't count against the kid for financial aid? I sure as heck hope the step-parent isn't getting a tax break for this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not required to...but what an asshole.

Um, no. How about a little financial independence on behalf of college students these days? God forbid they go to an affordable college, finance it with reasonable student loans and then PAY THEM OFF. How awful of their parents to allow them to learn these lessons on their own?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

This is not possible now. Look at how college costs have gone up. Even if you do 2 years at CC and transfer to a state school.

It is COMPLETELY possible if you go to an affordable college and plan for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that ANY parent is obligated to pay for college for ANY child. I do think that if a step-parent would feel obligated to pay for the college of their bio-kids, that obligation should extend to step-kids, particularly in a situation where the step-parent had been in the kids' lives since they were very young.

As a remarried person, I also cannot imagine the conversation with my husband where he refused to use OUR money to support MY child in anything. Sure, she has a bio-dad, but DH and I don't have separate accounts, and if he didn't consider DD to be his child, we would be getting divorced.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Mom needed to have that convo with her ex. And if college for her kids was important to her, she should have been saving too.

Then she needed to have that convo with her current husband, before they married, and said she is prioritizing $xx a month for college for the kids. Either she'd work to earn it or he'd be ok with paying it.

If she hasn't done this, then don't blame the step dad.

I have to agree with this one. The mom really needed to have that conversation. He does seem like a jerk but is the kids' bio dad paying his portion?

I look at it like this - Jack and Jill get married and they say they will be paying for their kids' college education in full. Jack and Jill divorce but they still want to pay for their kids' college education in full.

Jack marries Suzie. Suzie has two kids of her own. If Jack contributes to Suzie's kids' college education, he won't have as much money to pay for his bio kids' college.

Likewise, Jill marries David. David has two kids and those kids live with his wife. Before this, Jill saved hard so her kids wouldn't have to worry about paying college. David and his first wife didn't save anything for college, but now those kids are also thinking about college. Now David expects Jill to go into the savings she earmarked for her own children to pay a portion of his kids' college education.

So the two kids of Jack and Jill will no longer have their college paid for because even though their parents saved enough, it now has to be split 6 ways instead of 2.

Of course, every step-parent scenario differs but when there are multiple kids from the different wives/fathers involved I think it is best if you just pay for your biological kids.

Now if the step-dad doesn't have kids of his own and he's raised them since they were little, that is different.

I still think your BIL sounds like a jerk. And I also think if anything were to happen to my DH, I'm just going to wait to remarry (even if I do re-marry. The older I get, the less and less interest in remarriage I have) when my kids are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

Really?! Because it's not fucking possible to pay a college tuition bill, in full and room- board (even off campus cheap) with something in the 30k range, how many 18 year olds make that without putting in say 50 hours at 3 jobs?!

[Anonymous]

The only loan available to a freshman without a co-signer is for $5500. Another question: Has mom been receiving child support payments since the divorce?