Should step-parents be on the hook to fund college for step-kids?

[Anonymous]

My husband paid child support, including for the older two after they were 18 to be decent. Mom simply lied on the application that dad paid no child support and they got financial aid (not sure what as they refused to tell us when we offered to help and asked to see the paperwork). You can get around those forms easily (apparently, never tried). Needless to say we didn't help as they were lying to us and wouldn't give us basic information on costs, their share, how much they needed and they just demanded we send them high amount checks directly to them (we offered to send it to the school). So, clearly it can be done without parent/stepparent support. I doubt her boyfriend paid given he wouldn't pay for his own kids and never paid his child support (according to his ex as we helped her every once in a while with clothing and other things for the kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband paid child support, including for the older two after they were 18 to be decent. Mom simply lied on the application that dad paid no child support and they got financial aid (not sure what as they refused to tell us when we offered to help and asked to see the paperwork). You can get around those forms easily (apparently, never tried). Needless to say we didn't help as they were lying to us and wouldn't give us basic information on costs, their share, how much they needed and they just demanded we send them high amount checks directly to them (we offered to send it to the school). So, clearly it can be done without parent/stepparent support. I doubt her boyfriend paid given he wouldn't pay for his own kids and never paid his child support (according to his ex as we helped her every once in a while with clothing and other things for the kids).

1. FAFSA requires step-children to sync the step-dad's tax returns.
2. Some schools require College Board forms, basically a deep dive into the financials of all three parents or you're ineligible for anything from that college.
3. Lying on FAFSA or on college financial aid forms subjects you to quite a few felonies.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

Mom should have addressed this before she married the step-dad/when she agreed to stay at home. Now, if he said he would pay for it, then changed his mind, that's dirty pool.

I'm not contributing directly to my stepkid's college, but my income lets us live in a better home, take real vacations (with her), give her a car, etc., while my husband saves/pays for her college (split with her biomom).

Now in our case, bioparents can afford to pay for the college she decided to go to. If they couldn't, I would have pitched in, but not for the school she's going to -- it's a non-exceptional state school where she got token scholarships. She had the opportunity to go to an in-state school that was just as good, if not better, with free tuition. But, as I have no expectation of having a say of where she goes to school, she and her parents have no expectation of me contributing.

And yes, I am saving for my biokid, but he's much younger and I'd have the same expectations for him -- if it's not an exceptional school, the cost will be strongly taken into consideration.

[Anonymous]

doodlebug wrote:If you don't want to contribute to a step child's financial needs, then don't marry a person who already has children. It's a simple as that. You marry the parent, you marry the minor children.

Bullshit.

The biological parents will have an existing arrangement to support their biological children, which includes saving for college. If they're not saving for college, that's on them, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess when he's old, if his wife dies before him he do t expect the step-kids to look after him.

Puhleaze. Who expects kids to "look after them" in old age these days anyway?

Not even your biological children owe you support in your old age. Take care of that yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they can't afford college for the oldest pair why'd they have two more babies? Germany has laws that parents have to pay for education and health care until age 25.

We don't live in Germany. Not all parents pay for college. It is not stepdad's kid. He has no obligation, mom does and even so mom is not obligated. Many parents don't pay for college. My husband did military at 18 as he has no other option.

Exactly.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they can't afford college for the oldest pair why'd they have two more babies? Germany has laws that parents have to pay for education and health care until age 25.

We don't live in Germany. Not all parents pay for college. It is not stepdad's kid. He has no obligation, mom does and even so mom is not obligated. Many parents don't pay for college. My husband did military at 18 as he has no other option.

Exactly.

+100

Agreed. Even bio parents aren't obligated - plenty outside of DCUM world don't. Thank God we don't live in Germany. Although, it explains why the Germans have trouble having enough children to maintain the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband paid child support, including for the older two after they were 18 to be decent. Mom simply lied on the application that dad paid no child support and they got financial aid (not sure what as they refused to tell us when we offered to help and asked to see the paperwork). You can get around those forms easily (apparently, never tried). Needless to say we didn't help as they were lying to us and wouldn't give us basic information on costs, their share, how much they needed and they just demanded we send them high amount checks directly to them (we offered to send it to the school). So, clearly it can be done without parent/stepparent support. I doubt her boyfriend paid given he wouldn't pay for his own kids and never paid his child support (according to his ex as we helped her every once in a while with clothing and other things for the kids).

1. FAFSA requires step-children to sync the step-dad's tax returns.
2. Some schools require College Board forms, basically a deep dive into the financials of all three parents or you're ineligible for anything from that college.
3. Lying on FAFSA or on college financial aid forms subjects you to quite a few felonies.

Mom and stepdad aren't married so his wouldn't count. Not a chance I'd provide mine (I would have helped pay for college as I think its important if the situation were different). They lied as mom was getting child support for the older two (at that point the court order said it stopped at 18) and didn't report it. It could be a felony but no one checks the information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

Really?! Because it's not fucking possible to pay a college tuition bill, in full and room- board (even off campus cheap) with something in the 30k range, how many 18 year olds make that without putting in say 50 hours at 3 jobs?!

Excuses, excuses. It is possible if you're a hard-worker and motivated. Clearly you are neither.

Those of us baby boomers who paid our own way did it. I had to work 60 and I had two jobs and lived frugally. Still had some loans too. But, the monthly payment was far less than the difference between what my post college and grad school job paid and minimum wage and they only lasted 10 years. Sometimes you have to suck it up and work instead of expecting everything to be given to you.

And some of you baby boomers clearly don't understand the basic economic principles that make paying for 100% of your own college today a how different ballgame than it was back when you did it.

[Anonymous]

Not my kids, not my responsibility.

[Anonymous]

If they're married and he's been getting tax credits for the kids he needs to step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband paid child support, including for the older two after they were 18 to be decent. Mom simply lied on the application that dad paid no child support and they got financial aid (not sure what as they refused to tell us when we offered to help and asked to see the paperwork). You can get around those forms easily (apparently, never tried). Needless to say we didn't help as they were lying to us and wouldn't give us basic information on costs, their share, how much they needed and they just demanded we send them high amount checks directly to them (we offered to send it to the school). So, clearly it can be done without parent/stepparent support. I doubt her boyfriend paid given he wouldn't pay for his own kids and never paid his child support (according to his ex as we helped her every once in a while with clothing and other things for the kids).

Fafsa does not require info from the non-custodial bio parent; it requires it for the parent/step-parent living with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked my way through college. Never expected anyone to pay my way.

This is not possible now. Look at how college costs have gone up. Even if you do 2 years at CC and transfer to a state school.

Not the PP. It depends on when you went to college. I went before minimum wage hit $3 and the relative costs to earnings is about the same today. It's hard but if you work and don't waste money it's doable.

It's more than hard. It's really not feasible for most students.

In 1970, the minimum wage was $1.70. Annual tuition for a private school was $2550. You could work around 25 hours per week to pay that tuition.

In 2014, the minimum wage was $7.25. Annual tuition for a private school was around $45,000. You would have to work around 90 hours per week to pay that tuition in 2014. Even if you went to an in-state school, you would have to work 40 hours a week at minimum wage to pay for school.

So you work full time, go to school part time, and go to an in state school. What's the problem? Not my plan for my kids, but you have to do what you have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the BIL go to college? Sounds like he doesn't value education.

Haven't they been contributing to 529s?

With what money? 6 ppl on $100k doesn't leave a lot left to save for college.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the same person a few weeks ago who was complaining about how your blue collar sister and her husband wouldn't let you play for college prep classes for their kids? If so, you really need to let them live their life.