The pool and DH issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drinking at the pool is totally accepted at our local pool. Folks are expected to be discreet (pour the beer into a red Solo cup), but absolutely run of the mill. Not everyone does it, but enough that there is a "crowd".

Back in the day, my mom and her friends used to pour mixed drinks into a thermos and have some at the pool. They read trashy romance novels and drank margaritas on the deck.

[Anonymous]

Definitely agree this is a lighten up Frances moment.

Unless:
There are zero lifeguards
Husband is alcoholic
Husband is driving home shitfaced.

[Anonymous]

We've been members at our neighborhood pool for more than a decade and I only just caught onto the fact that people do occasionally bring adult beverages. (I feel very guilty about the block party I organized a few years back that was totally dry because I'm a rule follower.) But honestly in all this time, I've never seen adults get shit faced or behave even remotely irresponsibly. Your husband will stick out like a sore thumb if he does.

But unlike the PPs I don't think the OP is being overly neurotic. Unless your 5yo is a future Olympian, s/he probably does require fairly active supervision around water. One beer over the course of an afternoon is one thing, but 1 per hour as a PP suggested seems a little much. That phase when the kid can swim on his / her own but isn't a very experienced solo swimmer strikes me as a pretty risky time.

[Anonymous]

My husband tends to drink too much, so I wouldn't be too happy with more than one beer, honestly.

And don't rely on the lifeguards. Especially at a pool with a bunch of drunks (only slightly kidding here). I'm a former lifeguard and I'm very disappointed in the lifeguards at our private neighborhood pool. The ones at the county pools are much better, but those are so crowded, I wouldn't rely on lifeguards alone to watch the safety of my 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drinking at the pool is totally accepted at our local pool. Folks are expected to be discreet (pour the beer into a red Solo cup), but absolutely run of the mill. Not everyone does it, but enough that there is a "crowd".

If you have to hide it like a high schooler it clearly isn't actually allowed or ok, they don't just want drama with winos with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely agree this is a lighten up Frances moment.

Unless:
There are zero lifeguards
Husband is alcoholic
Husband is driving home shitfaced.

If her husband just can't do without alcohol (as evidenced by him suggesting he will chug his beer on the way) then yeah, that's indicative of something and I bet he is a PITA who always "needs" a drink.

[Anonymous]

Did you people ragging on OP read her post? Her husband wants to drink on the way over and his natural tendency would probably be to drink at every "adult swim." That's a) a lot of alcohol if they're there all afternoon b) not healthy and c) probably a sign that OP knows her husband best and has a reason to be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Our pool allows alcohol, and I would not have a problem with my husband having a beer while appropriately watching our children in the pool. He needs to be in arms length for our non-swimmer, he can't drink to excess, and he has to be sober to drive home. I trust my DH.

If you don't trust your DH with alcohol you need to address that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our pool allows alcohol, and I would not have a problem with my husband having a beer while appropriately watching our children in the pool. He needs to be in arms length for our non-swimmer, he can't drink to excess, and he has to be sober to drive home. I trust my DH.

If you don't trust your DH with alcohol you need to address that.

Would you trust him if his response to you asking him not to drink was to pre game? What about if he had a drink at every break?

[Anonymous]

Unless he is going to get drunk I wouldn't worry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We drink when our kids swim in the pool. It's in the backyard.

+1

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be comfortable with it. We all have our comfort levels.

[Anonymous]

Our pool allows alcohol, as long as it's not in glass, and you don't act like an asshole.

On a related note, did you know WF sells wine in cans??

[Anonymous]

Please tell me about the "election related issues" that are causing you to be mad at your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our pool allows alcohol, and I would not have a problem with my husband having a beer while appropriately watching our children in the pool. He needs to be in arms length for our non-swimmer, he can't drink to excess, and he has to be sober to drive home. I trust my DH.

If you don't trust your DH with alcohol you need to address that.

Would you trust him if his response to you asking him not to drink was to pre game? What about if he had a drink at every break?

If I asked my husband not to drink, he'd probably look at me like I had two heads and ask why.

My 220 lb husband could drink at pretty much every break for several hours and be ok. He generally takes longer than 15 minutes to down a beer, however, and he's not going to chug one. Also, at some breaks the kids are going to want to play ping pong with him, and he's unlikely to drink while doing that.

It sounds to me like the OP got a bit weird at her husband, and he pushed back. They need to have a conversation. Is her issue that he can't moderate his drinking? Is her issue that she's uncomfortable with alcohol and a non swimmer? Is she just uncomfortable with alcohol at the pool, period? They need to sort this out.