The pool and DH issues

[Anonymous]

We are going to have an August membership to a pool and DH has already indicated that he plans to be there every day possible with DS (who will be 5 at the end of the summer). I know what he's most excited about is drinking beer with our friends that belong to the same pool, so I just very calmly told DH that I am not comfortable with him drinking while he's at the pool alone with DS. He got defensive and said, basically, we'll be in the pool the whole time so I won't be drinking but I'm definitely going to drink a beer on the way there. I didn't get into details about, for example, the 15 minute break the kids have to take every hour... my guess is his natural tendency would be to down a beer then...

This is a big deal, right? Drinking and solo parenting at the pool don't mix? How do I get that through his head? (His answer is I always need to go with them. I get home from work later and may or may not meet them there. I don't like the pool as much but the appeal to him is, you guessed it, drinking a beer in the sun).

I'm pissed at him about some other stuff right now (election related) so that's not helping... feeling like we have nothing in common and totally different outlook on life... ugh.

[Anonymous]

Where is there a pool that allows drinking?

[Anonymous]

Wait, he said he'd drink a beer on the way to the pool? Like in the car while driving? Or on the sidewalk walking ? Is he in college?

[Anonymous]

That's what lifeguards are for!

[Anonymous]

You can't drink at the pool with your son. You have to take him canoeing and drink together in the canoe. Duh.

[Anonymous]

What pool allows drinking around kids in the afternoon? And agree with PP: what the heck does he mean "on the way"? Trying to think of a scenario in which a grown man and a child make their way to the pool with open beer and without looking like creepers.

[Anonymous]

How much does he drink? My DH could definitely have a couple of beers and be capable of watching child in pool.

[Anonymous]

Drinking at the pool is totally accepted at our local pool. Folks are expected to be discreet (pour the beer into a red Solo cup), but absolutely run of the mill. Not everyone does it, but enough that there is a "crowd".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What pool allows drinking around kids in the afternoon? And agree with PP: what the heck does he mean "on the way"? Trying to think of a scenario in which a grown man and a child make their way to the pool with open beer and without looking like creepers.

Back of the pickup while Bubba drives.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't have a drinking problem and I'd be totally fine with this. If he did, and I knew it wouldn't be just one beer, I would not be ok with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much does he drink? My DH could definitely have a couple of beers and be capable of watching child in pool.

Same. Lighten up. Unless he has a habit of saying he's only going to have one beer and ends up shitfaced. Then I'd worry too. One or two? No big deal.

[Anonymous]

We drink when our kids swim in the pool. It's in the backyard.

[Anonymous]

I have zero problems with your husband having a couple beers at a lifeguarded pool. One per hour with food and plenty of water. Ideally they walk home or your prissy self picks up.

[Anonymous]

Everyone at our pool drinks - I'm not comfortable with the parents who get drunk and forget to watch their kids - but does my husband have a beer or two and watch our small children? Yes! He's very responsible and I don't find his judgment impaired by two beers often with food - now if he drank six and got drunk I'd be unhappy. Can your five year old swim? Mine kids are younger and one of them swims quite well - so as long as dh was sitting on the side of the pool watching at all times while drinking a beer no biggie.

PS I'm super conservative about parenting and I also don't drink ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have zero problems with your husband having a couple beers at a lifeguarded pool. One per hour with food and plenty of water. Ideally they walk home or your prissy self picks up.

This.

OP could use a couple of beers herself.