Spanking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

[Anonymous]

How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

It's effective, but depending on what you want the effect to be.

For example, I never did the behavior again. Check

But I never forgot that my father hit me and our relationship was never the same. I do not trust him and I will never, ever leave him alone with my child.

Effective? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

This is a troll. You've posted almost the exact same thing an another spanking thread. Give it a rest. Parent your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

For us, we don't do it out of anger or in the moment, which I think could be confusing. So one of us will sit down with the child and briefly go over the behavior that has earned the spanking. Then put him or her over our knee and give three or four spanks on the bare tush.

There's crying, of course, but it's not an out of control angry event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

It's effective, but depending on what you want the effect to be.

For example, I never did the behavior again. Check

But I never forgot that my father hit me and our relationship was never the same. I do not trust him and I will never, ever leave him alone with my child.

Effective? Yes.

not everyone who was spanked feels the same way as you. Perhaps you are just a really sensitive person and have other issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

It's effective, but depending on what you want the effect to be.

For example, I never did the behavior again. Check

But I never forgot that my father hit me and our relationship was never the same. I do not trust him and I will never, ever leave him alone with my child.

Effective? Yes.

Don't you think that's a bit dramatic? Your relationship was never the same? Come on. That must have been a lot more than a spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

This is a troll. You've posted almost the exact same thing an another spanking thread. Give it a rest. Parent your own kid.

I'm the one who responded. It could be a troll, but what would be the point? And people talk all the time about specifics for timeouts, so what's the big deal here?

[Anonymous]

No. I don't think the occasional spanking will mess up a kid for life, but I also have just never had a situation with any of my kids that I even felt would warrant a spanking. Plus just the thought of striking my kid makes me feel weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

It's effective, but depending on what you want the effect to be.

For example, I never did the behavior again. Check

But I never forgot that my father hit me and our relationship was never the same. I do not trust him and I will never, ever leave him alone with my child.

Effective? Yes.

not everyone who was spanked feels the same way as you. Perhaps you are just a really sensitive person and have other issues?

Or she has an awful dad.

I had friends growing up who were spanked who hated and feared their parents. I had other friends growing up who were spanked (and that was it, they had healthy family relationships, loved their parents, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've got 4 kids - oldest is 24. In general, I don't know of any of my kids friends who get spanked.

I think it's more common in the South, and among less educated people since so many studies have come out in the last decade or so saying that it doesn't work as a discipline technique (otherwise you'd only ever do it once).

I've never spanked. I've grabbed arms, and I've clenched my own fists to keep from hitting because I know I have a temper.

Curious definition of a discipline technique -- I wasn't aware that time outs were supposed to work the first time, that you only need to do it once. Or that you only need one check on a reward chart, that you only need to do it once. Do those not work as discipline techniques either?

This. I've never understood these impossible standards by which to judge a technique or punishment or whatever you want to call it. I will say, however, from personal experience, that spanking is a lot more effective than anything else (assuming, of course, that it's combined with talking and instruction, and praise etc.) Timeouts are often worthless.

It's effective, but depending on what you want the effect to be.

For example, I never did the behavior again. Check

But I never forgot that my father hit me and our relationship was never the same. I do not trust him and I will never, ever leave him alone with my child.

Effective? Yes.

not everyone who was spanked feels the same way as you. Perhaps you are just a really sensitive person and have other issues?

Or she has an awful dad.

I had friends growing up who were spanked who hated and feared their parents. I had other friends growing up who were spanked (and that was it, they had healthy family relationships, loved their parents, etc.).

I was definitely in the latter category. I think when someone describes a messed up relationship like the PP described, there are other factors at play.

[Anonymous]

Let's have an honest discussion. I think spanking is wrong. I think it can damage kids and cause distrust. More broadly, i believe (and i think some studies have shown) that demonstrating the resolution of problems, or enforcement of boundaries / one's wishes greatly contributes to a world where our impulses are to shove, punch, bully, murder, execute, and nuke one another into submission. At the same time, I can't even with these people who say EVERY child will respond well to positive reinforcement only and that anyone whose child doesn't respond isn't doing it right. i know spanking is wrong, and yet i don't have a foolproof substitute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

For us, we don't do it out of anger or in the moment, which I think could be confusing. So one of us will sit down with the child and briefly go over the behavior that has earned the spanking. Then put him or her over our knee and give three or four spanks on the bare tush.

There's crying, of course, but it's not an out of control angry event.

Honestly, I think that is even more messed-up. The thought of making a child pull down their pants so you can strike their bare bottom while they are over your knee is about as nuts as you can get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's have an honest discussion. I think spanking is wrong. I think it can damage kids and cause distrust. More broadly, i believe (and i think some studies have shown) that demonstrating the resolution of problems, or enforcement of boundaries / one's wishes greatly contributes to a world where our impulses are to shove, punch, bully, murder, execute, and nuke one another into submission. At the same time, I can't even with these people who say EVERY child will respond well to positive reinforcement only and that anyone whose child doesn't respond isn't doing it right. i know spanking is wrong, and yet i don't have a foolproof substitute!

Why would it damage kids and cause distrust any more than any other punishment? I'm up for a civil discussion. My assessment is that it all depends on how it's explained and implemented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

I mean - do literally?

Do you put your child over your knee and hit them? Do you hit them where they are standing?

What are the logistics of spanking?

I was spanked as a child (once) and I never forgot it. I'm wondering if it works the same for all parents.

For us, we don't do it out of anger or in the moment, which I think could be confusing. So one of us will sit down with the child and briefly go over the behavior that has earned the spanking. Then put him or her over our knee and give three or four spanks on the bare tush.

There's crying, of course, but it's not an out of control angry event.

Honestly, I think that is even more messed-up. The thought of making a child pull down their pants so you can strike their bare bottom while they are over your knee is about as nuts as you can get.

Why is it nuts?