DW's: Did you marry a guy who isn't that great in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these guys bad or just bad for you? By which I mean, are they doing things that would leave most women unsatisfied, or are you kind of difficult to please?

I mean, if the guy says "wanna do it," paws tepidly at a boob for a few seconds, gets an erection with his tiny penis, sticks it in, cums in 30 seconds, then rolls over -- that's him being bad. If you need to be stroked clockwise for 20 seconds followed by 2.5 breaths and a drumming pattern while the cock crows at midnight during a new moon, then maybe he's not the problem.

I'm 8:23. My husband is the first scenario. It's him. He's really not good at sex. He knows it and sometimes feels bad about it but I tell him it doesn't matter that much. You can't be good at everything and he is really good at pretty much everything else (kind, thoughtful, great dad, professionally ambitious and successful, nice to my parents, etc). I am also not perfect, but I know he appreciates my good qualities and forgives me my faults as well

How can someone be so awful at it? Tell him what to do.

[Anonymous]

It's weird. DH is well endowed but just doesn't really know how to use it. Never marry a man who has had fewer than 10 prior sexual encounters.

[Anonymous]

I am afraid I did... Not completely ready to give up, I am still hoping that the lack of desire is linked to the fact that we have 2 kids under 3, but if I am honest even before the kids it wasn't great: not passionate enough and not enough in command for my taste (I like rough sex, dirty talk, I like to give BJ, would like to try anal etc.. He likes vanilla sex)

His go to move was (and still is) morning sex+basic spoon position, which I enjoy, but now I realize how lazy it is. Basically using his morning wood as a crutch and not a lot of efforts .

This is one of my resolution of 2016, seriously address the elephant in the room. Add therapy if needed. I don't want to be in a boring sexless marriage at 35... Or I will ask for a hall pass damn it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid I did... Not completely ready to give up, I am still hoping that the lack of desire is linked to the fact that we have 2 kids under 3, but if I am honest even before the kids it wasn't great: not passionate enough and not enough in command for my taste (I like rough sex, dirty talk, I like to give BJ, would like to try anal etc.. He likes vanilla sex)

His go to move was (and still is) morning sex+basic spoon position, which I enjoy, but now I realize how lazy it is. Basically using his morning wood as a crutch and not a lot of efforts .

This is one of my resolution of 2016, seriously address the elephant in the room. Add therapy if needed. I don't want to be in a boring sexless marriage at 35... Or I will ask for a hall pass damn it

And I will add, to fully respond to the question: I used to be more tolerant given that I don't have the highest sex drive in the world either (twice a week would probably be my ideal), but now I am frustrated, I actually masturbate almost every day when he is in the shower and I find absolutely ridiculous that a youngish couple has reached that stage ... (And FWIW we are both in ok shape, not overweight, taking care of ourselves etc, he says he is attracted to me but just exhausted)

[Anonymous]

He's okay. A bit vanilla. His idea of mixing it up is doggy. When I suggest other positions, he gets frustrated.

[Anonymous]

I did! One trick pony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these guys bad or just bad for you? By which I mean, are they doing things that would leave most women unsatisfied, or are you kind of difficult to please?

I mean, if the guy says "wanna do it," paws tepidly at a boob for a few seconds, gets an erection with his tiny penis, sticks it in, cums in 30 seconds, then rolls over -- that's him being bad. If you need to be stroked clockwise for 20 seconds followed by 2.5 breaths and a drumming pattern while the cock crows at midnight during a new moon, then maybe he's not the problem.

Your description is my ex - except he had a normal sized penis and lasted more like 8 seconds.

[Anonymous]

He was great initially, but after the kids came, time became an issue. Now sex is really vanilla, but at least we still have it! We need some more time to ourselves to get back to the fun we used to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was great initially, but after the kids came, time became an issue. Now sex is really vanilla, but at least we still have it! We need some more time to ourselves to get back to the fun we used to have.

Doesn't sound like you qualify to comment on this thread. "Life gets in the way" is not the same as "my hubby sucks in bed and has a little dick, but I still married him even though I knew this."

[Anonymous]

Good yes, great no. Thingy maybe Lil below average. But he makes up for it for sure so I'm cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was great initially, but after the kids came, time became an issue. Now sex is really vanilla, but at least we still have it! We need some more time to ourselves to get back to the fun we used to have.

Doesn't sound like you qualify to comment on this thread. "Life gets in the way" is not the same as "my hubby sucks in bed and has a little dick, but I still married him even though I knew this."

Oh, well, then you should have put that in the subject line, but I think that would have been bumped to the explicit thread.

Come to think of it, maybe you're the problem in your bedroom. Facing that attitude, any man would shrink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was great initially, but after the kids came, time became an issue. Now sex is really vanilla, but at least we still have it! We need some more time to ourselves to get back to the fun we used to have.

Doesn't sound like you qualify to comment on this thread. "Life gets in the way" is not the same as "my hubby sucks in bed and has a little dick, but I still married him even though I knew this."

Oh, well, then you should have put that in the subject line, but I think that would have been bumped to the explicit thread.

Come to think of it, maybe you're the problem in your bedroom. Facing that attitude, any man would shrink.

PP here. I'm not the OP. I was just remarking that it sounds like you have it pretty good and that your situation (kids make it tough on any couple) is the problem, not your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid I did... Not completely ready to give up, I am still hoping that the lack of desire is linked to the fact that we have 2 kids under 3, but if I am honest even before the kids it wasn't great: not passionate enough and not enough in command for my taste (I like rough sex, dirty talk, I like to give BJ, would like to try anal etc.. He likes vanilla sex)

His go to move was (and still is) morning sex+basic spoon position, which I enjoy, but now I realize how lazy it is. Basically using his morning wood as a crutch and not a lot of efforts .

This is one of my resolution of 2016, seriously address the elephant in the room. Add therapy if needed. I don't want to be in a boring sexless marriage at 35... Or I will ask for a hall pass damn it

And I will add, to fully respond to the question: I used to be more tolerant given that I don't have the highest sex drive in the world either (twice a week would probably be my ideal), but now I am frustrated, I actually masturbate almost every day when he is in the shower and I find absolutely ridiculous that a youngish couple has reached that stage ... (And FWIW we are both in ok shape, not overweight, taking care of ourselves etc, he says he is attracted to me but just exhausted)

Were you intimate before marriage? If so, what did you think would change afterwards? Or, was the clock ticking and you said fuck it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Low T/ Lil' D.

Sorry but this made me LOL.

Go ahead and laugh at our problems.

Kinda brought it on yourself. I would've never married a little dick guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Low T/ Lil' D.

Sorry but this made me LOL.

Go ahead and laugh at our problems.

Kinda brought it on yourself. I would've never married a little dick guy.

Good for you. There's someone for everyone, I suppose. Even someone as unpleasant as you.