My sister's new relationship...not comfortable with this at all.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it's f--k'ed up but they are both adults. Let her live her life and make her own decisions.

Why is an adult sister getting "financial support" from you? Sounds like she has big issues as well. Perhaps they were made for each other.

You, meanwhile, need to do what is best for your kids (perhaps get them out of that school, but please, don't bring your household drama to the school director).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's f--k'ed up but they are both adults. Let her live her life and make her own decisions.

Why is an adult sister getting "financial support" from you? Sounds like she has big issues as well. Perhaps they were made for each other.

You, meanwhile, need to do what is best for your kids (perhaps get them out of that school, but please, don't bring your household drama to the school director).

OP here: No, I'm not going to take them away from their friends, coaches, other teaches, an otherwise good environment because of one asshole. That's beyond unfair. But honestly, I will consider going to the principal if this gets any more dramatic. They have a right to know if one of their teachers is using the emergency contact list to pursue women. If he lacks boundaries there, who knows how far they go?

I just wish there was a way I could talk to her or something I could do that would take her head out of the clouds. But believe me when I say: financial situation aside, this man is completely unworthy of my sister. She is a wonderful person.

[Anonymous]

It's not healthy for your sister to be living with you long-term. Any sister. Of course you are going to run into problems with boundaries. If it's not this, it would be something else. She is far less likely make good grown-up decisions emotionally, financially, every way, when she is not out-on-her own. Work to make this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not healthy for your sister to be living with you long-term. Any sister. Of course you are going to run into problems with boundaries. If it's not this, it would be something else. She is far less likely make good grown-up decisions emotionally, financially, every way, when she is not out-on-her own. Work to make this happen.

OP again: We are working on it together but she's been through a lot and she loves being around my kids. They love it, too. So for now, it's good. But it's not going to get any better with some bored predator blowing up her phone and making her think this is romance.

[Anonymous]

OP, has he asked her for money yet, or to buy him things? That's coming, if it hasn't already. Figure out a way to help your sister before he drains whatever small financial resources she has and/or runs up her credit cards. This will happen unless you intervene.

Is this guy an actual teacher? Does he teach your DC? If so, your first step is to get your child moved out of the classroom. Be upfront with the school about the constant texting during educational hours, when this guy is supposed to be teaching. And whatever you do, make the school aware that this employee is using the school database to contact people for personal, social reasons. This is likely not his first time and it will not be his last unless you report him. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not healthy for your sister to be living with you long-term. Any sister. Of course you are going to run into problems with boundaries. If it's not this, it would be something else. She is far less likely make good grown-up decisions emotionally, financially, every way, when she is not out-on-her own. Work to make this happen.

OP again: We are working on it together but she's been through a lot and she loves being around my kids. They love it, too. So for now, it's good. But it's not going to get any better with some bored predator blowing up her phone and making her think this is romance.

I think you sound like an awesome sister, and it's really wonderful to see such a kind, loving relationship among you, her, and your family.

I think you're right that the way he got her number was a bit of a gray boundary. Not really appropriate but in the right circumstances, with emotionally healthy people, it could be perfectly reasonable. Unless he does something more clearly inappropriate, I think you have to let these two adults make their choices and just be there to comfort you sister when it falls apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel very uncomfortable having this person teach my child.

This was my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, has he asked her for money yet, or to buy him things? That's coming, if it hasn't already. Figure out a way to help your sister before he drains whatever small financial resources she has and/or runs up her credit cards. This will happen unless you intervene.

Is this guy an actual teacher? Does he teach your DC? If so, your first step is to get your child moved out of the classroom. Be upfront with the school about the constant texting during educational hours, when this guy is supposed to be teaching. And whatever you do, make the school aware that this employee is using the school database to contact people for personal, social reasons. This is likely not his first time and it will not be his last unless you report him. Good luck!

Oh no, really? (OP here) Well good luck to him with THAT because I'm really strict with the budget and she doesn't have access to anything big (I gave her a very small credit card for spending money and her phone bill). That would definitely be reason to report him to the school, though. Honestly, he has no idea how close he is to getting reported right now. I'm completely creeped out that he used the school to get to her and that he now just shows up at our apt building occasionally. Even though she welcomes it, I don't and I'm a parent at his school.

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced she's not the only number he dug out of that database.

Thanks to all of you for talking to me about this. It deteriorated fast into something very unhealthy and it's upsetting to watch. My sister has been through a lot and she has been doing so well! Now I hate to think that she's in for some more hard times just because some impulsive jerk thought it would be fun to sneak around with a cute girl.

[Anonymous]

Op I would be more concerned that this nutcase is teaching your child

[Anonymous]

How old is she? I think the texting is how younger millennials date. My 14 yo dd had a boyfriend-all they did was text.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the story of two losers made for each other. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why are you financially supporting your sister? How old is she?

[Anonymous]

Why did you give your sister a credit card? Why are you enabling her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you give your sister a credit card? Why are you enabling her?[/quote

I think op explained her sister babysits for her.

[Anonymous]

He probably lives with someone or has a girlfriend because he only sees your sister at the last minute and because most of their friendship is by text. Tell your sister.