Help re school for anxious, smart, possibly GT/LD introverted second grader.

[Anonymous]

OP, consider Burgundy Farm in Alexandria. I know it would be a hike for you, but they do have fairly generous financial aid and will really work with you on that. Burgundy is not by any means perfect, but it's lower school is VERY warm and nurturing and low pressure. Great teachers, nice kids, kind atmosphere, and no letter grades or numerical assessments until middle school.

I do not think the middle school there is as good, but I loved it for my kids in lower school.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely recommend the Ed testing to determine if there are processing issues. I'd recommend looking into McLean - they really help with anxiety & executive function. How significant are the LD? There are schools that focus more on LD needs, but if the GT is a big component, Feynman School might work as well, & they work more in groups and hands-on, which can help with some LD issues.

[Anonymous]

Don't underestimate the LD part. That could be a major source of anxiety in the sensitive child. I will get her evaluated ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely recommend the Ed testing to determine if there are processing issues. I'd recommend looking into McLean - they really help with anxiety & executive function. How significant are the LD? There are schools that focus more on LD needs, but if the GT is a big component, Feynman School might work as well, & they work more in groups and hands-on, which can help with some LD issues.

We don't even know if there is an LD at this point. We know there's an anxiety problem. But we don't know whether that's making her miserable all on its own or if there's an inattention issue that's contributing to her anxiety. The pediatrician recommended we wait until she's closer to 7 for an evaluation for ADHD-inattentive, because (as he said), it's pretty hard to tell the difference between 6 and inattentive. The teacher notes that she's distractable, but then again says that lots of kids are at this age. She performs at or above grade level in everything (but that's not surprising, she's always been pretty "ahead" on academic stuff). We're really concerned that she's so miserable and that she *feels* like she's not able to do the work, even though she is able to do it. And that she hates school.
If we do move her to private school, I want it to be a place that's very warm and nurturing and that has the capability of dealing with mild LDs or ADHD, so that if that is what this turns out to involve, we don't then have to move again. Transitions are so hard for her, I don't want to do it more than necessary.
And I do appreciate everyone saying "get the evaluation". I admit I'm a little scared to do it, so I'm very willing to go with the teacher and pediatrician recommendations to wait it out a while longer. But I'm also wary because I know that often girls (especially bright girls) can have mild LDs that go unnoticed because they behave in ways that aren't disruptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't underestimate the LD part. That could be a major source of anxiety in the sensitive child. I will get her evaluated ASAP.

Yeah, fair enough. It's sort of a "chicken and the egg" thing. Is the anxiety causing her to be distracted? Or is the distractibility causing her to feel anxious?

[Anonymous]

OP, do not assume you would never get financial aid. Depending on your student loan indebtedness, etc., you might well. Only way to find out is to apply. Most schools will try hard to make things work for you.

[Anonymous]

There are several small private schools that are more in the 18-20K range north of you that can potentially work.

[Anonymous]

OP -- Just a note to send a cyber hug. Our DC with ADHD inattentive (diagnosed in 4th grade) went from being completely miserable, anxious and extremely depressed (even saying the world would be better without him/her) to being a happy middle and (now) high schooler who (mostly) likes school, has friends, and does pretty well. So while not all of the ADHD challenges were solved by a school change (bring bright with inattention is hard -- you get the math easily but make careless errors so conceptually you get an "A" but you get a "B" on your report card!)!), many of them were. A smaller setting where people have time to get to know your strengths can be huge when you are grappling with your areas of challenge. So this is just to say your daughter is SO lucky to have you. You are asking all of the right questions. And it will get better. Be good to yourself; crying about a child is one of the worst feelings in the world. Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

Montessori? Oneness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- Just a note to send a cyber hug. Our DC with ADHD inattentive (diagnosed in 4th grade) went from being completely miserable, anxious and extremely depressed (even saying the world would be better without him/her) to being a happy middle and (now) high schooler who (mostly) likes school, has friends, and does pretty well. So while not all of the ADHD challenges were solved by a school change (bring bright with inattention is hard -- you get the math easily but make careless errors so conceptually you get an "A" but you get a "B" on your report card!)!), many of them were. A smaller setting where people have time to get to know your strengths can be huge when you are grappling with your areas of challenge. So this is just to say your daughter is SO lucky to have you. You are asking all of the right questions. And it will get better. Be good to yourself; crying about a child is one of the worst feelings in the world. Big hugs.

THANK YOU. Honestly, I so needed the cyber hug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Montessori? Oneness?

I wondered about this, but I would think that if a child is particularly distractible, a classroom with 30 kids would not be the best fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are several small private schools that are more in the 18-20K range north of you that can potentially work.

Besides parochial, I can think of Christ Episcopal in Rockville, and Waldorf. Am I missing any?

[Anonymous]

Burgundy, McLean, Commonwealth Academy... all worth looking into. All small, all very nurturing.

[Anonymous]

Grace Episcopal, Sandy Spring Friends?

Christ Episcopal is very nurturing. Will handle the anxiety party well. I am not sure about the other things she may or may not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grace Episcopal, Sandy Spring Friends?

Christ Episcopal is very nurturing. Will handle the anxiety party well. I am not sure about the other things she may or may not have.

Agree. CES is very nurturing. Worth looking at as an option.