31-Should I get divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I give BJs all the time, while musturbating to turn myself on because he does not do it.

What the fuck? That needs to stop immediately.

Tell him not more BJs until you get some head in return. It's only fair.

That should whip him into shape real fast

x2. I can't believe this wouldn't be a person's immediate reaction

Perhaps, I spoiled him as well....by turning myself on and giving him BJs every time we have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

"More unresponsible"......the fact that you typed this says it all....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

HE is not having bad sex, just you are.

That's why you need to stop giving him a gold-level sex life while he's okay with you having an economy-level one. it's not hard to say, "Honey, until you can reciprocate, I just can't get in to giving you a blowjob." He may put up a fuss for a while but sooner or later he will have to get it. Men can be quick learners, where sex is involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

You can always go to couples therapy alone, but even that would be just another red flag. You're still young with a great future and no kids in the picture. If divorce puts you off, get an annulment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

Do you want kids?

The fact that you fight on holidays isn't unusual. You're bored, which isn't a reason to divorce someone.

How was the sex when you were dating? Agree with PPs, no more bjs.

Also, he might be just clueless to the female anatomy (as are most men and women), but there's an app for that:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-di-donato/female-orgasm-theres-an-app-for-that_b_3840652.html

Find tasteful books with illustrations with suggested positions for you both to try together. Buy a vibrator.

[Anonymous]

Except for the fact that you said your DH is attractive, you've described pretty much every guy in this area--boring as can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

HE is not having bad sex, just you are.

That's why you need to stop giving him a gold-level sex life while he's okay with you having an economy-level one. it's not hard to say, "Honey, until you can reciprocate, I just can't get in to giving you a blowjob." He may put up a fuss for a while but sooner or later he will have to get it. Men can be quick learners, where sex is involved.

I'll try... it may work... and it might be dumb to mention, he is a scorpio by horoscope sign, so any type of reinforcement does not work on him... Our latest argument was about my rental place and the fact that I wanted to pay someone to install carpet so we can relax on the weekend versus him doing it. Now, he won't even change a light bulb or help me paint. We argue about money a lot... even $3-4, e.g. buying cut fruits versus uncut, buying deli ham versus packed.... I make goid money for a 31 year old (around $140k, although for DC area its not as much)... I hate that he counts my money or limits me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

HE is not having bad sex, just you are.

That's why you need to stop giving him a gold-level sex life while he's okay with you having an economy-level one. it's not hard to say, "Honey, until you can reciprocate, I just can't get in to giving you a blowjob." He may put up a fuss for a while but sooner or later he will have to get it. Men can be quick learners, where sex is involved.

I'll try... it may work... and it might be dumb to mention, he is a scorpio by horoscope sign, so any type of reinforcement does not work on him... Our latest argument was about my rental place and the fact that I wanted to pay someone to install carpet so we can relax on the weekend versus him doing it. Now, he won't even change a light bulb or help me paint. We argue about money a lot... even $3-4, e.g. buying cut fruits versus uncut, buying deli ham versus packed.... I make goid money for a 31 year old (around $140k, although for DC area its not as much)... I hate that he counts my money or limits me.

Honestly, I think you should dump. You are young, attractive, making bank, and clearly good in bed, since you seem to be MUCH more giving and flexible about things than I would ever be. You can find a new guy in an instant. And I have two scorpios in my family- that behavior is not gonna change, it's just gonna get worse when you have kids. Can you imagine throwing these hissy fits when you are also dealing with a screaming toddler?

No. There are plenty of guys out there who are emotionally mature and who will ALSO be willing to go down on you- happy and delighted, in fact.

[Anonymous]

Troll...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

Do you want kids?

The fact that you fight on holidays isn't unusual. You're bored, which isn't a reason to divorce someone.

How was the sex when you were dating? Agree with PPs, no more bjs.

Also, he might be just clueless to the female anatomy (as are most men and women), but there's an app for that:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-di-donato/female-orgasm-theres-an-app-for-that_b_3840652.html

Find tasteful books with illustrations with suggested positions for you both to try together. Buy a vibrator.

I have a vibrator.... It could be lack of experience for him. Sex was good when we were dating because I was turned on by his touch or looking at him, after 4 years of being together I need more forplay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

Do you want kids?

The fact that you fight on holidays isn't unusual. You're bored, which isn't a reason to divorce someone.

How was the sex when you were dating? Agree with PPs, no more bjs.

Also, he might be just clueless to the female anatomy (as are most men and women), but there's an app for that:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-di-donato/female-orgasm-theres-an-app-for-that_b_3840652.html

Find tasteful books with illustrations with suggested positions for you both to try together. Buy a vibrator.

I have a vibrator.... It could be lack of experience for him. Sex was good when we were dating because I was turned on by his touch or looking at him, after 4 years of being together I need more forplay

Was he a virgin when you two met, or not had that many sexual partners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm....so should I take my toys and leave? Seems to me it is more unresponsible to stay and have kids.

I talked to him about sex asking whether he wants to have bad sex for the rest of his life, he said that he was not having bad sex. He does not want to go to couples therapy, he is against it. Of course, I am going to make an effort to make a very last push.

Do you want kids?

The fact that you fight on holidays isn't unusual. You're bored, which isn't a reason to divorce someone.

How was the sex when you were dating? Agree with PPs, no more bjs.

Also, he might be just clueless to the female anatomy (as are most men and women), but there's an app for that:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-di-donato/female-orgasm-theres-an-app-for-that_b_3840652.html

Find tasteful books with illustrations with suggested positions for you both to try together. Buy a vibrator.

I have a vibrator.... It could be lack of experience for him. Sex was good when we were dating because I was turned on by his touch or looking at him, after 4 years of being together I need more forplay

Was he a virgin when you two met, or not had that many sexual partners?

He was def not a virgin, probably its the fact that he is so attractive that he did not have to do much...(even other straight men find him very attractive) We did not discuss number of sexual partners.

[Anonymous]

Heh. Imagine if a man wrote here that he wanted to divorce his wife because, although lovely in most other ways, she won't blow him and hang out with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heh. Imagine if a man wrote here that he wanted to divorce his wife because, although lovely in most other ways, she won't blow him and hang out with his friends.

If he was giving her regular head and she refused to reciprocate? Does such a scenario even exist? (And if yes, where can I sign up )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heh. Imagine if a man wrote here that he wanted to divorce his wife because, although lovely in most other ways, she won't blow him and hang out with his friends.

OP: it's not that simple... I want to feel desired and that my DH wants to make me happy... We are new to the area and he does not want to make any friends, we have 2-3 commom friends, and i socialize at work... Also, we argue about money a lot, I never count his money... I dont even care how much he makes, but he gets very upset if I buy clothes or some expensive food... I also feel uneasy about him not being able to have a small talk at my work events... although, he can be funny and center of attention around people he knows well... He is the kind of men that likes cars more than women, benefit that he only needs one woman, but downside he does not show as much attention. People write here all the time that they want a divorce but have kids and don't want to ruin their life, I do not want to be that person....