Underemployed boyfriend-wwyd?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Would you be happier if he was a high-paying lawyer and treated you like crap? IDK. There is a middle ground, but I don't know if you know what the middle ground would be for you. |
Anonymous
| Leave. You two aren't well matched. You deserve to find what you really want and he deserves to find someone who really wants him too. |
Anonymous
Obviously she wants what all women want. A devilishly handsome, sensitive, caring, high-earner who never prioritizes work of your relationship (but still brings home the big bucks somehow), and who is also a caring lover with an 8 incher and who will buck up in an instant...but only when you whistle. And he loves puppeis, and your mom. The question OP has to ask is, is she worthy of all of that? What is she bringing to the party? |
Anonymous
| Let him go so someone who fully appreciates him can have him. You'll end up causing him misery. Sounds like he deserves better. |
Anonymous
| You guys are being too harsh on OP. You need a new plan and a new man OP. |
Anonymous
| You’re not a gold-digger for wanting a guy who is more ambitious. |
Anonymous
No, I'm not a ge digger. That's such an awful thing to say. I love this guy and want to marry him. It just bugs me because he seems like he is afraid to really put himself out there and know what he wants and get it. He isn't stupid; he has a masters degree from a great program. He is just too intimidated to get out there and figure out a career path that's lucrative. |
Anonymous
Fair enough OP, but pleas don't marry this guy hoping that you can change him. It's not fair to him. If you can't be happy forever with who he is TODAY then please let him go. |
Anonymous
+1 don't marry him. You will both be miserable. You should marry someone at face value, not someone whom you think you can mold or influence once you're married. That's a disaster waiting to happen. |
Anonymous
Are you not able to make your own money? Does he do good work at current job (and earned a masters) but decides to do interesting jobs that don't pay as well? Or did he get a masters and end up working at Barnes and Noble? |
Anonymous
You need to be supportive of him or move on. My DH for 23 years was unemployed with no transportation when we first met. After six months he got a job with the local government, low paying but honest work. In a few more years he got a job at a bank as a bank analyst. The bank paid for him to go back to school and get an MBA in finance. Fast forward and he's now an SVP at a major bank. If you are serious about this person and want to spend the rest of your life with him, you will have to be patient and provide him with the support he needs to move forward. I'm also a working professional and DH and I make a comfortable living. You also need to come to the table with something too and not expect him to carry all the weight of your relationship. |
Anonymous
Too intimidated? Is that his take on it, or yours? Some people (myself included) don't really WANT to be the mover and the shaker and make the sacrifices required to be that person. I have a good job in private industry, but I wouldn't want to rise any higher than I am now. I work 40 hours a week. I don't have to work weekends, generally. I don't have to travel. I never miss my kids' activities. I have time for hobbies, and friends. The executive level staff at my company are on the road constantly, often overseas, sometimes weeks at a time. One guy told me the other day he spent more days on the road in 2014 that he was home. He loves it. You couldn't pay me enough to be this guy. Is he happy with his place in life? |
Anonymous
| Go your separate ways. |
Anonymous
| Op how ambitious are you for yourself? Do you earn more money than him? Please don't say you want him to be ambitious so you can be a SAHM. |
Anonymous
|
You said he's happy working his low-paying job, so leave hom be.
And as I said before, no guy should have to go through hell to please you. Let him go. |