Frustrated with my looks and dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, yes, this has dogged me all my life. I'm a petite half-Asian.

At 33, while on vacation, another mother told me: "You look like a teenager - I had no idea you were a mother to an 8 year old!".

Pregnant with my first at 25, I was glared and muttered at on the bus, probably because they thought I was a teen mother - poor teen mothers!

As a Teaching Assistant in grad school, the prof told me: "I don't know how the undergrads will respect you - you look like you're 14!".

When entering middle school, the gate keeper said - "Sorry, elementary school is round the block".

And let's not get into what this had done to my professional life. I get mistaken for the intern all the time.

So I get it, OP.

Brag much?

LOL! Not the OP or PP, but your green monster is showing. Grass is always greener on the other side. Everyone has some hangups, issues to deal with. Yea, some are worse than others.

[Anonymous]

You probably don't look as young as you think you do. OK, so the bartender carded you. My 70 year old mother gets carded from time to time, and it doesn't mean she's being mistaken for a teenager. Besides, even if most people would like to look younger, it's bad form to brag! Op I really don't see what the problem is. You seem immature and insecure. Maybe people don't take you seriously because you're a nanny.

[Anonymous]

^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably don't look as young as you think you do. OK, so the bartender carded you. My 70 year old mother gets carded from time to time, and it doesn't mean she's being mistaken for a teenager. Besides, even if most people would like to look younger, it's bad form to brag! Op I really don't see what the problem is. You seem immature and insecure. Maybe people don't take you seriously because you're a nanny.

LOL.. boy, your green monster is getting bigger by the minute.

For goodness sakes, it's a frickin' anonymous forum. If you can't brag on here, where can you brag? Not IRL, that's for sure. OP, and other PPs, brag away.

OP probably does look really young. It does happen, especially if you are also petite. This was me. I was in the same boat, btw, not so much now since I'm in my 40's and gained like 20lbs from my 20's (ok, I did have 2 kids, and one was like 9lbs... ok I'm rambling now).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

Because adult men are afraid of jail bait so they want to stay away from anyone who might look like they are younger than 18? Or, the men OP want to date are looking for women their age, not teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably don't look as young as you think you do. OK, so the bartender carded you. My 70 year old mother gets carded from time to time, and it doesn't mean she's being mistaken for a teenager. Besides, even if most people would like to look younger, it's bad form to brag! Op I really don't see what the problem is. You seem immature and insecure. Maybe people don't take you seriously because you're a nanny.

Bitter much? I do look young for my age and I'm not talking at just bars. I get told that on a daily basis by a number of prople. Exactly what is wrong with being a nanny that people don't take me seriously? I'm not insecure or immature. This is a problem for me. You must look you're age or older, and that's why you will never understand this. You seem to be a little insecure and hateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

Sigh.

It's not an issue with getting attention. Trust me, I get a TON of attention from guys. The problem is, when guys your own age or older are thinking they've approached a teen, it drives away a lot of the men who are looking for equals and leaves you with the men who are interested in dating someone whose just out of high school. Which is to say, a pretty creepy bunch.

You may be okay with those guys being your main dating pool, if you truly think you fall into that group (keep in mind, being told you look like a teen one time does not constitute a legitimate problem- I have NEVER not been carded and it's a running joke in my friend group and family that I look so strangely young- it's a habitual thing for me). But keep in mind that not all of us are, and this thread is for THAT group.

[Anonymous]

^btw, I am not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

Sigh.

It's not an issue with getting attention. Trust me, I get a TON of attention from guys. The problem is, when guys your own age or older are thinking they've approached a teen, it drives away a lot of the men who are looking for equals and leaves you with the men who are interested in dating someone whose just out of high school. Which is to say, a pretty creepy bunch.

You may be okay with those guys being your main dating pool, if you truly think you fall into that group (keep in mind, being told you look like a teen one time does not constitute a legitimate problem- I have NEVER not been carded and it's a running joke in my friend group and family that I look so strangely young- it's a habitual thing for me). But keep in mind that not all of us are, and this thread is for THAT group.

Why don't you just try online dating and stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I did not say I had a problem dating men once I enter a relationship. I've had quite a few of relationships. I am a very mature 27 year old and tend to date men who are 30-38. Most men that age see me in a bar and do not approach because they believe I'm younger. Only when we start talking ( usually I approach or via a friend) they ask me out. Every guy in this situation said how they thought I was jailbait. The men who do approach me assumed I was young. I specifically remember one guy telling me " I like dating young girls. You look underage but I'm down with that." Then there are a lot of youngish teens who hit on me and are surprised by my age.

This is really not a brag. I just want a nice guy to hit on me without having some underage/teen fantasy.

[Anonymous]

I'm 26, and I think I look and act my age. My coworkers were shocked when I told them my age, but I just attribute that to them being bad at guessing. At 26, a person's skin hasn't aged much, so it has more to do with how you carry yourself and how you dress, and I think I act my age in both those regards, especially when I compare myself to my peers.

Another pet peeve is when people say, "if you look 18 when you are 28, you'll look 30 when you're 40!". No, it doesn't work like that. And you don't look like an 18 year old anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

Sigh.

It's not an issue with getting attention. Trust me, I get a TON of attention from guys. The problem is, when guys your own age or older are thinking they've approached a teen, it drives away a lot of the men who are looking for equals and leaves you with the men who are interested in dating someone whose just out of high school. Which is to say, a pretty creepy bunch.

You may be okay with those guys being your main dating pool, if you truly think you fall into that group (keep in mind, being told you look like a teen one time does not constitute a legitimate problem- I have NEVER not been carded and it's a running joke in my friend group and family that I look so strangely young- it's a habitual thing for me). But keep in mind that not all of us are, and this thread is for THAT group.

Why don't you just try online dating and stop complaining.

Are you new to DCUM? People come on here to vent and crowdsource solutions all the time

Also, I prefer meeting people face to face. Never had to resort to online dating.

[Anonymous]

Women who dress very casually and who don't wear makeup or style their hair, tend to get stereotyped as younger. That has little to do with their features and more to do with their presentation. Part of the way we judge age is to look at how a person is dressed, how a person speaks, and how a person carries herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I did not say I had a problem dating men once I enter a relationship. I've had quite a few of relationships. I am a very mature 27 year old and tend to date men who are 30-38. Most men that age see me in a bar and do not approach because they believe I'm younger. Only when we start talking ( usually I approach or via a friend) they ask me out. Every guy in this situation said how they thought I was jailbait. The men who do approach me assumed I was young. I specifically remember one guy telling me " I like dating young girls. You look underage but I'm down with that." Then there are a lot of youngish teens who hit on me and are surprised by my age.

This is really not a brag. I just want a nice guy to hit on me without having some underage/teen fantasy.

You're probably NOT going to meet your future spouse in a bar. The thing is alcohol, loud music, and crowds don’t encourage serious relationships. Stop putting all your luck in this and try something else.