Frustrated with my looks and dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lower the pitch of your voice. That is a sure fire way to drive off immature men.

I was going to post the same thing. I bet it's more than your looks. It's probably lack of makeup and a mature, age-appropriate style. And, I would bet anything that you have either a higher pitched voice or have vocal fry. Working on your speech and mannerisms could go a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You probably don't look as young as you think you do. OK, so the bartender carded you. My 70 year old mother gets carded from time to time, and it doesn't mean she's being mistaken for a teenager. Besides, even if most people would like to look younger, it's bad form to brag! Op I really don't see what the problem is. You seem immature and insecure. Maybe people don't take you seriously because you're a nanny.

LOL.. boy, your green monster is getting bigger by the minute.

For goodness sakes, it's a frickin' anonymous forum. If you can't brag on here, where can you brag? Not IRL, that's for sure. OP, and other PPs, brag away.

OP probably does look really young. It does happen, especially if you are also petite. This was me. I was in the same boat, btw, not so much now since I'm in my 40's and gained like 20lbs from my 20's (ok, I did have 2 kids, and one was like 9lbs... ok I'm rambling now).

hahaha yup, me too. I was getting carded at the movie theater well way into my mid 20s. And I still get carded at bars, liquor stores, and gas stations and in 35. It's flattering now, but when I was in college and trying to date, I felt like an awkward kid among a throng of glamorous amazons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^You know, regarding the PP who accused the other PP of bragging, I have the same problem as the OP and I always figured that everyone sees it as 100% a good thing, and never felt comfortable bringing up this problem.

But its so nice to hear how many other women have dealt with this issue, and hear how some have dealt with it.

That's why I'm grateful to OP for bringing it up.

Just because you can't understand a problem, doesn't mean it's not a serious issue for someone else. Have some compassion/empathy.

This hardly qualifies as a problem . What doesn't she try online dating ? Sounds like she's just looking for attention here. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 27 and married. Over the weekend I was at an event and my husband said one of his work colleagues thought I was a teenager. I find it hard to believe that men aren't interested in you. There must be some other problem here. Men are genetically pre-disposed to find "fertile" women more attractive. Women reach their peak fertility at around 15-20 and hence men inherently find women of this age to be the most attractive.

Sigh.

It's not an issue with getting attention. Trust me, I get a TON of attention from guys. The problem is, when guys your own age or older are thinking they've approached a teen, it drives away a lot of the men who are looking for equals and leaves you with the men who are interested in dating someone whose just out of high school. Which is to say, a pretty creepy bunch.

You may be okay with those guys being your main dating pool, if you truly think you fall into that group (keep in mind, being told you look like a teen one time does not constitute a legitimate problem- I have NEVER not been carded and it's a running joke in my friend group and family that I look so strangely young- it's a habitual thing for me). But keep in mind that not all of us are, and this thread is for THAT group.

Why don't you just try online dating and stop complaining.

Are you new to DCUM? People come on here to vent and crowdsource solutions all the time

Also, I prefer meeting people face to face. Never had to resort to online dating.

Ha well why are you on here complaining?

[Anonymous]

What's the problem op? Sounds like you could date a guy in his 20s or 30s.

[Anonymous]

Dating online does not make you desperate … it makes you a normal human being. OP you do sound immature. Also, nannying is not a career most men will accept unfortunately. Most men see it as a non-permanent job. I don't think a lot of men would see it as a career choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating online does not make you desperate … it makes you a normal human being. OP you do sound immature. Also, nannying is not a career most men will accept unfortunately. Most men see it as a non-permanent job. I don't think a lot of men would see it as a career choice.

I am a student going for a degree in the medical field. I only nanny because I like kids and it's pays my way through school. I've never had a previous boyfriend care that I was a nanny, and I've dated a doctor, and two lawyers. I believe I said that in my opening post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating online does not make you desperate … it makes you a normal human being. OP you do sound immature. Also, nannying is not a career most men will accept unfortunately. Most men see it as a non-permanent job. I don't think a lot of men would see it as a career choice.

I am a student going for a degree in the medical field. I only nanny because I like kids and it's pays my way through school. I've never had a previous boyfriend care that I was a nanny, and I've dated a doctor, and two lawyers. I believe I said that in my opening post.

Blah blah blah. Op you sound annoying.

[Anonymous]

A lot of jealous women on this thread.

Feel free not to weigh in if you have nothing relevant to contribute other than "I think you're lying!" or "You should be grateful!"

[Anonymous]

OP, good advice earlier by dressing the part, mannerisms, topic of discussion, the way you present yourself adds to the illusion that you are younger/older. See if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I did not say I had a problem dating men once I enter a relationship. I've had quite a few of relationships. I am a very mature 27 year old and tend to date men who are 30-38. Most men that age see me in a bar and do not approach because they believe I'm younger. Only when we start talking ( usually I approach or via a friend) they ask me out. Every guy in this situation said how they thought I was jailbait. The men who do approach me assumed I was young. I specifically remember one guy telling me " I like dating young girls. You look underage but I'm down with that." Then there are a lot of youngish teens who hit on me and are surprised by my age.

This is really not a brag. I just want a nice guy to hit on me without having some underage/teen fantasy.

See this whole "men approach women" thing is just completely broken.
Why do women feel they just inherently "deserve" to be approached by a stream of men who meet their highest standards?
What is wrong with YOU approaching the men you like?

[Anonymous]

And I too just want a nice girl to hit on me without having some rich prince fantasy. Do I deserve that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating online does not make you desperate … it makes you a normal human being. OP you do sound immature. Also, nannying is not a career most men will accept unfortunately. Most men see it as a non-permanent job. I don't think a lot of men would see it as a career choice.

I am a student going for a degree in the medical field. I only nanny because I like kids and it's pays my way through school. I've never had a previous boyfriend care that I was a nanny, and I've dated a doctor, and two lawyers. I believe I said that in my opening post.

Wait, so you don't want to date guys who like you because you look young, because they're not looking for their equal... but you think a doctor or lawyer who dates a nanny is looking for his equal?? Um, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating online does not make you desperate … it makes you a normal human being. OP you do sound immature. Also, nannying is not a career most men will accept unfortunately. Most men see it as a non-permanent job. I don't think a lot of men would see it as a career choice.

I am a student going for a degree in the medical field. I only nanny because I like kids and it's pays my way through school. I've never had a previous boyfriend care that I was a nanny, and I've dated a doctor, and two lawyers. I believe I said that in my opening post.

Wait, so you don't want to date guys who like you because you look young, because they're not looking for their equal... but you think a doctor or lawyer who dates a nanny is looking for his equal?? Um, no.

You didn't include that information. Definitely a brag post. You don't even know what you want.

[Anonymous]

You're frustrated with your looks yet you apparently date doctors and lawyers and don't have to resort to online dating. drama queen!

[Anonymous]

Too many jealous women on this thread must have looked really rough by the time they were 27. Sucks to be them.