Frustrated with my looks and dating.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 27 year old female that most describe in terms of looks as " girl next door". Im not gorgeous but definitely not unattractive. My body is slim and petite with the exception of my 34C chest. My main problem is I look young for my age. I know it will be a benefit as I age, but right now I look like I'm 19 or 20. I seem to get hit on by a lot of men who think I'm much younger than my age. Then go on and on how I look so innocent and like a teenager. The men I have dated initially didn't hit on me because they thought I was too young to drink or underage.

I am really annoyed and a little creeped out. I dated an early 30's guy a few months back. Besides stating how I looked young once, it was brought up again until we had sex. He wanted me to call him " daddy" and role play as a teenager. Apparently he liked my looks and was searching for a woman to play out taboo fantasies. I was disgusted by this.

I think this is more of a vent because it's unlikely anyone can change this fact. This just really sucks.

[Anonymous]

I was just like you. People thought I was a teenager when I was 26/27. Guys my age also didn't really hit on me. Maybe where makeup, dress a bit older, get a hairstyle that makes you look a bit older? Long hair makes one look younger in that age group.

I'm 45 now. Yes, you will appreciate looking young for your age when you get older. Use sunscreen religiously. That's my other advise.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to take more control of your dating situation. You complain about the types of guys that hit on you, so why don't you go flirt with the guys who don't seem that way? Chances are they are interested too, they're just not overtly going after you. Don't be a passive participant in your love life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just like you. People thought I was a teenager when I was 26/27. Guys my age also didn't really hit on me. Maybe where makeup, dress a bit older, get a hairstyle that makes you look a bit older? Long hair makes one look younger in that age group.

I'm 45 now. Yes, you will appreciate looking young for your age when you get older. Use sunscreen religiously. That's my other advise.

Sunscreen is my best friend. I'm pale skinned ( think Julianna Moore) so I use it all the time. How did things work out for you?

[Anonymous]

OMG, OP, I'm in the exact same spot.

I have three siblings, the youngest of whom is 20, and everyone always thinks I'm the youngest.

I recently got carded at an R movie and denied entrance because I hadnt brought ID.


I havent had anyone ask me to role play a teenager but I agree that I get a really creepy type of dude interested in me, like they like to try to dominate.

My solution has been to date younger, but I havent found someone for long term yet.

I know it will be great in the long term- it's not even something I want to complain about! But it does seem hard sometimes when it comes to dating. There's a lot of creepy men out there.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry that you are struggling with this. I have close friend who actually has the exact same issue.

Is there anything you can do to make yourself appear older and more mature? Ex: shorter or darker hair and more professional tailored clothing? Blonde hair is inherently more youthful looking. Wearing suiting and professional shoes typically conveys more maturity than jeans and sneakers.

Perhaps you have some girlfriends with similar issues you could commiserate with? For example, my asian friends feel similarly b/c they are sick of being some guys asian fetish and I used to feel similarly creeped out since i have larger boobs and felt guys were always just trying to date me because of that.

[Anonymous]

Dress older/ pretty easy to do.

[Anonymous]

BTW OP- I am the PP who is the same age with the same problem.

I cut my hair fairly short, this length:


And I have noticed that it has in fact helped with the creepy attention. For some reason, having short hair seems to drive off some of the more creepy, misogynistic dudes.

I would definitely recommend it if you want to stave off some of the weirdos.

Also, short hair is easier now and really in style, so it's a win-win.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I will try makeup and a hair change. I don't wear much makeup, and I have dark blonde hair, blue-eyed. My hair is long. I'm thinking of changing it to brown with highlights and a new cut. I would not look good with short hair and will not cut it off. Maybe some layers would look nice. I'm a nanny and student so I do not dress in business attire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just like you. People thought I was a teenager when I was 26/27. Guys my age also didn't really hit on me. Maybe where makeup, dress a bit older, get a hairstyle that makes you look a bit older? Long hair makes one look younger in that age group.

I'm 45 now. Yes, you will appreciate looking young for your age when you get older. Use sunscreen religiously. That's my other advise.

Sunscreen is my best friend. I'm pale skinned ( think Julianna Moore) so I use it all the time. How did things work out for you?

PP here. I started dating my now DH at 30. We met at work. You said you are a nanny so that's harder to do.. meet men at work. You certainly don't want to date the baby-daddy.

I think when I cut my hair shorter and dressed a bit older, I started getting more attention from guys my age. Yes, get a layered hair cut. It will help. Since you won't really be meeting guys while nannying (as most guys you interact with will probably be dads), when you do go out, to a club, dinner, whatever, try to dress a bit older. Not suit type, but don't wear clothes from Forever 21 or American Eagle, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Ha I sound just like you except I've had zero trouble getting dates. I thought guys love younger. I've always considered this a plus.

[Anonymous]

In addition to getting your hair cut, I would try wearing more makeup when going out (not necessarily to work as a nanny) and wear older or edgier clothing. Probably stay away from neons and pastels in clothing colors for going out because they tend to read younger. You could even talk to a stylist about getting lowlights put in, if you don't want a drastic change, or just get in cut to shoulder length with layers

[Anonymous]

Lower the pitch of your voice. That is a sure fire way to drive off immature men.

[Anonymous]

Oh, yes, this has dogged me all my life. I'm a petite half-Asian.

At 33, while on vacation, another mother told me: "You look like a teenager - I had no idea you were a mother to an 8 year old!".

Pregnant with my first at 25, I was glared and muttered at on the bus, probably because they thought I was a teen mother - poor teen mothers!

As a Teaching Assistant in grad school, the prof told me: "I don't know how the undergrads will respect you - you look like you're 14!".

When entering middle school, the gate keeper said - "Sorry, elementary school is round the block".

And let's not get into what this had done to my professional life. I get mistaken for the intern all the time.

So I get it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, yes, this has dogged me all my life. I'm a petite half-Asian.

At 33, while on vacation, another mother told me: "You look like a teenager - I had no idea you were a mother to an 8 year old!".

Pregnant with my first at 25, I was glared and muttered at on the bus, probably because they thought I was a teen mother - poor teen mothers!

As a Teaching Assistant in grad school, the prof told me: "I don't know how the undergrads will respect you - you look like you're 14!".

When entering middle school, the gate keeper said - "Sorry, elementary school is round the block".

And let's not get into what this had done to my professional life. I get mistaken for the intern all the time.

So I get it, OP.

Brag much?