My husband just admitted...

[Anonymous]

I would be willing to forgive him for a post-nup and an std test (assuming it comes back clear).

[Anonymous]

Depending on what country he was in, it is entirely possible he did not pre-arrange it. As for the "jump off the table" reaction, he was probably in too deep before she went to the red Zone. These girls know what they are doing.

To me plausible story and you got an unsolicited confession. This std theory is absurd. I would not treat it lightly but I would not make it bigger than it is, either.

[Anonymous]

He could also get herpes that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He could also get herpes that way.[/quote


About as likely as getting it from a toilet seat

[Anonymous]

I think that not only did he want that to happen, but that he knew ahead of time that it would be part of the massage. And it is skeevy, and gross. I'd be wondering if there were more "services" being offered, honestly, since this happened in a private hotel room. Sorry you're dealing with this, OP.

Oh, I've been in plenty of those hotels. If the manager doesn't call you asking if you'd like a massage, the girls call you themselves. There's usually a buddy at the front desk that lets them know which rooms are occupied that night. "Massage" is just code word for prostitute. If it were a legitimate massage, it would have been done in the spa, not in his room. Yeah, he knew what he was getting when he arranged it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He told you. I don't know what your "red line" is, but this is forgivable in my book. Sneaking around and lying would piss me off far more - esp for a one-time hand job.

How are you feeling, OP?

+1 he confessed, I'd forgive and be thankful that you have a husband who has such a conscience that he told you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here--I'm feeling confused, to be honest. He said that this happened in his hotel room, the hotel has a massage service apparently. The BS is that he rarely gets massages in the US, so I'm pretty sure he wanted this to happen (he is overseas right now)

He told me, so that shows that he is honest and cares enough not to sneak around. But I'm also worried that he's testing the waters... what can he get away with? Or is he already cheating and admitting to a small discretion is alleviating his guilt?

Or maybe I'm over-reacting. Again, I am feeling confused. And skeeved out that some other woman was fondling my man.

If he hired a "massage service" to come to his hotel room (especially "overseas") he knew it was more than the kind of massage you get at massage envy here in the US. He knew he would receive a hand job, at minimum. If he was willing to pay more, the girl would have been willing to do more. In fact, I wouldnt be surprised if more DID happen, and he is just testing your reaction by confessing to the hand job.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the naysayers- this could have happened by accident in many parts of the world. Moreover, if he were experienced in this sort of thing he would not confess. Be careful on scum- lots of nasty folks here would be happy to cheer you to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He could also get herpes that way.[/quote


About as likely as getting it from a toilet seat

I got herpes from someone who gave me oral sex. He didn't even have a cold sore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He could also get herpes that way.[/quote


About as likely as getting it from a toilet seat

I got herpes from someone who gave me oral sex. He didn't even have a cold sore.

Uh, doctor here. Oral mucosa much more fragile and thin than skin on your hand. This greatly impacts transfer likelihood. Moreover, absent a proper exam very hard for you to see a sore in his mouth.

[Anonymous]

If you believe it was his first time doing this, I have bridges in Brooklyn. San Francisco, and Wash., D.C., I'd like to sell you. He's a player and this, as noted up thread, and is the tip of the iceberg he's hiding.

[Anonymous]

He told you because he felt guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you believe it was his first time doing this, I have bridges in Brooklyn. San Francisco, and Wash., D.C., I'd like to sell you. He's a player and this, as noted up thread, and is the tip of the iceberg he's hiding.

Why would a player confess?

[Anonymous]

He's gay

[Anonymous]

He hired a prostitute, got lucky, called his wife, told her he felt bad, made another appointment after the phone call home.

Wife has 2 choices: accept that her DH hires prostitutes or not accept that DH hires prostitutes. He won't change.