Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how do you know she isn't just keeping you on as a friend? are you living together? How do you know there is no one else? Why are you in therapy with a GF? Get rid of her.

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not looking for relationship advice. I'm just asking if anyone else out there has been in a similar standoff. It doesn't have to be around sex. But just some non-negotiable that has changed in a relationship, but neither side is blinking, even though fixing that element of the relationship if a pre-condition of moving forward in the relationship. Yes, we live together in a very nice house that she owns and pays the mortgage on and I'm sure there is no one else. She's an entrepreneur who works 70+ hours a week. Otherwise she's home with the new puppy.

[Anonymous]

Troll. You posted this exact scenario before and claimed you broke up. I am tired of you..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll. You posted this exact scenario before and claimed you broke up. I am tired of you..

I'm not a troll. This scenario is real. Thank you for being a d-bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how do you know she isn't just keeping you on as a friend? are you living together? How do you know there is no one else? Why are you in therapy with a GF? Get rid of her.

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not looking for relationship advice. I'm just asking if anyone else out there has been in a similar standoff. It doesn't have to be around sex. But just some non-negotiable that has changed in a relationship, but neither side is blinking, even though fixing that element of the relationship if a pre-condition of moving forward in the relationship. Yes, we live together in a very nice house that she owns and pays the mortgage on and I'm sure there is no one else. She's an entrepreneur who works 70+ hours a week. Otherwise she's home with the new puppy.

yes you do want relationship advice. there is no general answer. 1.5 yr standoffs don't end well especially if it is over sex. you all are roommates and she's NOT THROWING YOU OUT on your ass. That's what you are missing is her compassion for you. You need to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how do you know she isn't just keeping you on as a friend? are you living together? How do you know there is no one else? Why are you in therapy with a GF? Get rid of her.

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not looking for relationship advice. I'm just asking if anyone else out there has been in a similar standoff. It doesn't have to be around sex. But just some non-negotiable that has changed in a relationship, but neither side is blinking, even though fixing that element of the relationship if a pre-condition of moving forward in the relationship. Yes, we live together in a very nice house that she owns and pays the mortgage on and I'm sure there is no one else. She's an entrepreneur who works 70+ hours a week. Otherwise she's home with the new puppy.

yes you do want relationship advice. there is no general answer. 1.5 yr standoffs don't end well especially if it is over sex. you all are roommates and she's NOT THROWING YOU OUT on your ass. That's what you are missing is her compassion for you. You need to leave.

I have my own place actually. Don't want to give more details. But I do have housing I could leave easily if I wanted to. Again, I care about her and I want it to work again. Obviously I wouldn't have tried couples counseling if I didn't care about trying to revive things. And no, I don't want relationship advice in the sense of I'm asking "how can I make things improve?" Rather, I'm asking if anyone has had a stand off before? And, why do people think (given the info I've given) she hasn't blinked, given everything she stands to lose?

[Anonymous]

Just move on. If you already have to be in counseling before the real stress of marriage, living together and kids, you will never make it. Just do yourself and her a favor and end it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just move on. If you already have to be in counseling before the real stress of marriage, living together and kids, you will never make it. Just do yourself and her a favor and end it.

Thanks for the advice THAT I DIDNT ASK FOR =)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how do you know she isn't just keeping you on as a friend? are you living together? How do you know there is no one else? Why are you in therapy with a GF? Get rid of her.

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not looking for relationship advice. I'm just asking if anyone else out there has been in a similar standoff. It doesn't have to be around sex. But just some non-negotiable that has changed in a relationship, but neither side is blinking, even though fixing that element of the relationship if a pre-condition of moving forward in the relationship. Yes, we live together in a very nice house that she owns and pays the mortgage on and I'm sure there is no one else. She's an entrepreneur who works 70+ hours a week. Otherwise she's home with the new puppy.

yes you do want relationship advice. there is no general answer. 1.5 yr standoffs don't end well especially if it is over sex. you all are roommates and she's NOT THROWING YOU OUT on your ass. That's what you are missing is her compassion for you. You need to leave.

I have my own place actually. Don't want to give more details. But I do have housing I could leave easily if I wanted to. Again, I care about her and I want it to work again. Obviously I wouldn't have tried couples counseling if I didn't care about trying to revive things. And no, I don't want relationship advice in the sense of I'm asking "how can I make things improve?" Rather, I'm asking if anyone has had a stand off before? And, why do people think (given the info I've given) she hasn't blinked, given everything she stands to lose?

ok dude, yes people have stand-offs. happy now? what's you're point? Move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how do you know she isn't just keeping you on as a friend? are you living together? How do you know there is no one else? Why are you in therapy with a GF? Get rid of her.

Thank you for the advice, but I'm not looking for relationship advice. I'm just asking if anyone else out there has been in a similar standoff. It doesn't have to be around sex. But just some non-negotiable that has changed in a relationship, but neither side is blinking, even though fixing that element of the relationship if a pre-condition of moving forward in the relationship. Yes, we live together in a very nice house that she owns and pays the mortgage on and I'm sure there is no one else. She's an entrepreneur who works 70+ hours a week. Otherwise she's home with the new puppy.

yes you do want relationship advice. there is no general answer. 1.5 yr standoffs don't end well especially if it is over sex. you all are roommates and she's NOT THROWING YOU OUT on your ass. That's what you are missing is her compassion for you. You need to leave.

I have my own place actually. Don't want to give more details. But I do have housing I could leave easily if I wanted to. Again, I care about her and I want it to work again. Obviously I wouldn't have tried couples counseling if I didn't care about trying to revive things. And no, I don't want relationship advice in the sense of I'm asking "how can I make things improve?" Rather, I'm asking if anyone has had a stand off before? And, why do people think (given the info I've given) she hasn't blinked, given everything she stands to lose?

What's "everything she stands to lose?" - you have not told us what you bring to the table besides indecision and history (baggage). Really, you're a freeloader. Maybe you know how to fix stuff? You don't portray yourself as much of a catch so i am not certain she is really losing out?

[Anonymous]

What's "everything she stands to lose?" - you have not told us what you bring to the table besides indecision and history (baggage). Really, you're a freeloader. Maybe you know how to fix stuff? You don't portray yourself as much of a catch so i am not certain she is really losing out?

Easy. TIME. She wants kids. She's 37.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why she doesn't dump you. I certainly would, just for being a weirdo.

But here's something for you to consider. It's not like she can just bring your old relationship back through force of will. If you would really be satisfied for the rest of your life with a convincing imitation of sexual desire, then sure, you could have an ok relationship. But genuine desire isn't something women can just summon whenever they want to. And even if her desire for you did come back, it wouldn't be like it was before, because you would know that the possibility of a relapse is always there. So would you really be 100% happy in the relationship even if you did have more sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What's "everything she stands to lose?" - you have not told us what you bring to the table besides indecision and history (baggage). Really, you're a freeloader. Maybe you know how to fix stuff? You don't portray yourself as much of a catch so i am not certain she is really losing out?

Easy. TIME. She wants kids. She's 37.

ehhh that's not really that big of a deal and is between her and her doctor really. she doesn't need your sperm or your kids, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. You posted this exact scenario before and claimed you broke up. I am tired of you..

I'm not a troll. This scenario is real. Thank you for being a d-bag.

Liar troll. This is you at 23:04: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/472144.page

On the off chance you are just disguising the facts of a real scenario, the answer is that you are a psychopath and your GF is too busy and successful to bother getting rid of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. You posted this exact scenario before and claimed you broke up. I am tired of you..

I'm not a troll. This scenario is real. Thank you for being a d-bag.

Liar troll. This is you at 23:04: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/472144.page

On the off chance you are just disguising the facts of a real scenario, the answer is that you are a psychopath and your GF is too busy and successful to bother getting rid of you.

Parts of that post at 23:04 mirror my own. Except I'm 33.5 not 32. And my 37 year old gf and I are very much still together. Read closer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What's "everything she stands to lose?" - you have not told us what you bring to the table besides indecision and history (baggage). Really, you're a freeloader. Maybe you know how to fix stuff? You don't portray yourself as much of a catch so i am not certain she is really losing out?

Easy. TIME. She wants kids. She's 37.

She has plenty of time, and money. Adoption, surrogate, donor eggs, etc, not to mention the fact of several more years of her own fertility.