Is your husband inconsiderate with food?
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Anonymous
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He's selfish and rude.
No my husband doesn't do this. |
Anonymous
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1. You live with your mom, but he won't eat at the table with her since they don't get along
2. He "works" from home and has no car 3. He doesn't sleep at night with you. 4. He smokes pot recreationally (factors into #2, I'm sure) Sorry OP. Your problems run far deeper that a lack of Pop Tarts. |
Anonymous
I am 30 and he is 27. We have been together for a long time (10 yrs) and I don't believe in divorce so that's not really an option. I want to have a baby and I really doubt I will meet someone and remarry in time if we are being perfectly honest. I think he needs help but he just won't take it. I think he has anxiety and that's what keeps him from sleeping at night. He really doesn't sleep at all to answer a pp. He works all day and then is up all night. He has huge bags under his eyes and its aging him not to mention it not sleeping and eating properly is making him grumpy a lot. I'm working really hard to get us our own house so we can have a family and a normal life but lately I just feel more like a mother than a wife like I have no partner. Just venting I guess and seeing how someone in a similar situation copes or coped. |
Anonymous
Another eating disordered person, he may just binge without purging. A young male might be able to get away with it and not gain weight (yet) |
Anonymous
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If this is real, get some individual counseling to figure out why your self esteem is so low that you've stayed with this guy for 10 years. "I don't believe in divorce" is a cop out. His guy shouldn't be a father, he's not really a husband.
30 isn't old. You have time to figure it it and meet someone who is an actual adult. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, OP, you haven't really presented any compelling reasons to stay with this guy. Do you really want to bring a baby into this messed up situation? |
Anonymous
He sounds unhappy and/or depressed. You need to get to the underlying issue. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that it has something to do with your living arrangements and his discomfort with the situation. You're 30 and 27 and live with your mother. Is this for your benefit, or your mother's? If you're living there due to financial reasons (can't afford your own home) then I'd start there as a source of stress/depression. Really hard to say and it's something you need to look at closely. But the food isn't the problem. It's merely a symptom of something much more. |
Anonymous
OP, let me get this straight. When you were 20 years old, you began a relationship with a 17 year old boy (i.e. a minor, still in high school). You are now 30 and your mother lives with you while your husband, essentially, does not. He doesn't sleep with you. He doesn't eat with you. He stays up all night binge eating. He uses drugs recreationally (I would say the same if he was drinking in the middle of the night - I am for legalization of pot). You "don't believe in divorce" but you do believe in starting a relationship with a child and then are surprised when he continues to act like a child. You want to have a baby with someone who cannot respect basic ground rules and does not seem to participate in your relationship. Are you out of your mind?? |
Anonymous
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OP, you can't have a baby whose father is this troubled. It's not going to work.
You can have a baby at 33, 34, 35, 36. Even 38. What you can't have is a baby/toddler whose father eats up his food. |
Anonymous
| What makes you feel your own house will bring you a normal life? It will probably free your husband to act even more as he wants to act. |
Anonymous
| Please don't have a baby with him. At least not at this point. You are so still so very young. |
Anonymous
You cop by insisting that he begin a course of therapy or you divorce. Do NOT have a child with such a troubled man. He pretty clearly has an eating disorder. He's grumpy and rude to your mother. A house is not going to give you a normal life. It will give you the same messed-up life you have now, but without your mother around. |
Anonymous
Terrific. How about him? Is HE working really hard to achieve this goal? Doesn't sound like it. Take a long cold look at your overall situation. No one here is qualified or knows enough to tell you what to do based on two posts. But at 30 you have all the time in the world to make changes. That might not feel like the case at 40, or 50. |
Anonymous
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OP, you are seriously deranged to think of bringing a baby into this situation. You don't need a house. You've been playing house, and he will be no different in a house...as a PP said, he will just be free to be himself more. It is physically impossible to not sleep at all. He would be dead within a week. You are married to a man with serious mental problems, substance abuse issues, no ambition, no self-discipline, no concern for others, and who does not participate in your marriage in any way. Why would you think he is father material? What is wrong with you?
The fact that your mistake has persisted for 10 years does not mean you compound it with a child to prove yourself. i seriously want to shake some sense into you! Your poor mother. |
Anonymous
| The eating and not sleeping are symptoms, not the problem. Schedule an appt with a doctor or psychiatrist right away. Start keeping a daily log on everything that he's eaten and how many hours he slept. have at least 1 week of data. |