Brother leaves same-sex partner for a woman and wants to bring her home for the holidays

[Anonymous]

Christmas is a month and a half away. This may all change, since he's moving quickly.

I'd strive for calm and welcoming — but would likely request he stay at the hotel with her, if you prefer she doesn't stay at your home.

[Anonymous]

Also, have you met any 22 year olds recently? They are babies! Your brother is free to make poor choices but he is not free to ruin the holidays for everyone else. Give yourselves and your kids some time to mourn his past relationship. That is a real loss for the family and your bother is being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha .


Told ya it's a choice. Suck it PC ers!

Turns out 10000 years of human history and the bible are right about the nature of sexuality and the PCers are bumbling idiots.

He's Bi, dumbass. Learn to read. And then go eat shit and die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha .


Told ya it's a choice. Suck it PC ers!

Turns out 10000 years of human history and the bible are right about the nature of sexuality and the PCers are bumbling idiots.

Oh please, no one's surprised by this. For some people it's a choice, for others it's not. This is not news to anyone. You're the one who's out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up. My 50 yo brother is bringing his 28 year old girlfriend he met at rehab.

Pass the wine.

This is going to be a great holiday! I'm spending it with my extended family - all of whom are pretty normal, except for my cousin who is usually in jail this time of year. This year he is attempting to be less of a dirtbag, so he'll be there with his jail tattoos, his Hep B and some of illegitimate children. DH doesn't know yet. Pass the wine.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen the movie Home for the Holidays with Holly Hunter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. Sorry, but your kids are more important than this young girl's feeling. And your brother is being a big baby. He needs to understand that the kids need time to adjust and that you don't want to introduce them to new "family members" before some time has passed. Geez. I can't imagine why people would suck it up in this case. 22 years old??? That is bad for your kids to even see. If they get married or have children, you won't have a choice. Be really nice about this and say that you are very concerned about the kids.

And one more thing, I would absolutely continue to invite the ex partner to see the children whenever he wants to.

This. If your oldest was 2 my answer might be different, but 5 is old enough to see this stuff and make impressions of the world from it. So you will either (a) sanction throwing over your partner for an affair / a complete lack of commitment in your relationships, or (b) have conversations about how people we love do horrible things that we don't approve of but we still love them. And while (b) could actually be good, I'm not sure how you make that the take home message rather than (a) if you tacitly support your brothers new relationship mere weeks after the breakup.

What a mess. Sorry OP.

Also? Agree with the posters saying your brother needs to grow the hell up. If he is so unhappy in his relationship then yes, breakup. But deal with that relationship ending before just starting up with your new fling. People and relationships shouldn't be treated as disposable, and I sure as hell don't want my kids to think they are.

And to that end. I would absolutely reach out to the Ex. After 10 years I'm sure you all have relationships directly with him aside from your brother, and your brother doesn't have the right to unilaterally end all the collateral relationships.

[Anonymous]

And who is this woman whose best offer for the holidays is spending them with a bunch of strangers who are the family of the dude she's been hooking up with at work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And who is this woman whose best offer for the holidays is spending them with a bunch of strangers who are the family of the dude she's been hooking up with at work?

DING
DING
DING!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who is this woman whose best offer for the holidays is spending them with a bunch of strangers who are the family of the dude she's been hooking up with at work?

DING
DING
DING!!!!!!!!!

If I was that woman (girl?), I would so rather eat a hungry man turkey dinner alone while watching a gilmore girls marathon than get anywhere near the situation OP is describing.

[Anonymous]

That girl doesn't realize how much it's going to suckto spend the holiday with strangers and watch them all open gifts and tell old stories etc. I'd cut this off at the pass and tell him if they're still an itemnext year then maybe, but not this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who is this woman whose best offer for the holidays is spending them with a bunch of strangers who are the family of the dude she's been hooking up with at work?

DING
DING
DING!!!!!!!!!

If I was that woman (girl?), I would so rather eat a hungry man turkey dinner alone while watching a gilmore girls marathon than get anywhere near the situation OP is describing.

Haha! You are funny. Good point too. What the hell is wrong with this girl? She needs to get a life. And the brother? If he's mad and can't understand what the problem is, then he needs a little time out to think about what he has done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up. My 50 yo brother is bringing his 28 year old girlfriend he met at rehab.

Pass the wine.

Best comment I have ever read on this site.

I have a rousing game of "who's kid is that" coming up at family Thanksgiving. It's an ever-changing round of exes, their kids, and their kid's kids. I normally only recognize my sisters and an aunt or two.

I'll pour.

[Anonymous]

OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

[Anonymous]

This is the OP and I agree. I've thought from the beginning that the person this is most awkward for is the girl. I'm also afraid she's going to think that my brother is more serious about her than I suspect he is -- I know I would have at her age. Maybe I'm wrong and she's around next Christmas, when I'd happily welcome her. Plus, is she going to feel like she needs to get us all presents? I'd send word that she doesn't need to, but then she'll probably feel weird while we all open them from each other. Count our parents and our very elderly grandmother in on this family memory making.