Brother leaves same-sex partner for a woman and wants to bring her home for the holidays

[Anonymous]

Op, do you have any backstory on why she would agree to attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

Oh Lord! It isn't necessary to take in any and all strays. If you want to be nice, invite a homeless person to dinner or volunteer in a shelter. This is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha .


Told ya it's a choice. Suck it PC ers!

Turns out 10000 years of human history and the bible are right about the nature of sexuality and the PCers are bumbling idiots.

turns out it's still too complex for morons who think it's a choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

This assumes that the brother and woman in question will be responsible enough adults to not engage in PDA or otherwise act romantically involved in front of the children. Considering the rest of the situation OP has described I'm giving a very low probability of that happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha .


Told ya it's a choice. Suck it PC ers!

Turns out 10000 years of human history and the bible are right about the nature of sexuality and the PCers are bumbling idiots.

turns out it's still too complex for morons who think it's a choice

Nothing's worse than weenies who can't deal with common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

Oh Lord! It isn't necessary to take in any and all strays. If you want to be nice, invite a homeless person to dinner or volunteer in a shelter. This is ridiculous.

I think you're making a huge leap between "any and all strays" and your brother's friend (girlfriend, lover, whatever)

[Anonymous]

OP who the hell does this brother of yours think he is having the nerve to just run rampant romantically without providing ample time for family to assess the situation and adjust accordingly!
He should not be allowed to come over with or without his new love interest. That should teach him a lesson that from now on he has to plan and pace and proceed with his interpersonal involvements entire around a timetable approved by you and your family.
The nerve of him...smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

Oh Lord! It isn't necessary to take in any and all strays. If you want to be nice, invite a homeless person to dinner or volunteer in a shelter. This is ridiculous.

I think you're making a huge leap between "any and all strays" and your brother's friend (girlfriend, lover, whatever)[/quote]



Sorry but if she is 22 and she stole a 40 year-old man from his longterm partner and expects to be welcomed home for the holidays after a few weeks of having sex with this guy, she is noting but a stray. The brother does not seem capable of proving himself responsible enough to choose appropriate "friends" to bring home to the nephews, nieces, parents, and grandparents for the holidays. This is just a train wreck and no one is responsible for taking care of these two adult children.

Another important point is that it is reprehensible of the brother to expect his family to keep this affair a secret from the ex! I am not saying I would tell him myself but the brother is really a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, where's your holiday spirit? This poor girl has no one to spend the holidays with. Sometimes it's nice to just be surrounded by people. let me ask you this. If your brother was still with his partner and called you and said a friend from work that I'm close to will be all alone at Christmas and it breaks my heart to know she'll be eating a tv dinner alone in her apartment. Can partner and I bring her to your house? how would you respond? You'd probably say it's not a big deal.

you're only making this a big deal because he's sleeping with her - and you don't need to tell your kids that. Say she's Uncle Bob's friend who can't be with her family during Christmas, so we are letting her come to our house and share our family with her for the holiday. how hard is that - and you can teach your kids something about opening your heart and home to those less fortunate (even those less emotionally fortunate).

This assumes that the brother and woman in question will be responsible enough adults to not engage in PDA or otherwise act romantically involved in front of the children. Considering the rest of the situation OP has described I'm giving a very low probability of that happening.

Seriously -- your new, 2 week old boo is NOT the same as your depressed, lonely co-worker. Matter of fact, it's the man-stealing co-worker.
BIG DIFFERENCE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP who the hell does this brother of yours think he is having the nerve to just run rampant romantically without providing ample time for family to assess the situation and adjust accordingly!
He should not be allowed to come over with or without his new love interest. That should teach him a lesson that from now on he has to plan and pace and proceed with his interpersonal involvements entire around a timetable approved by you and your family.
The nerve of him...smh

Oh-- aren't you clever. Except when it is my house, around my kids, I get to decide whose sexual partner, revolving family members get to come to my house.
NOT
THE
OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP who the hell does this brother of yours think he is having the nerve to just run rampant romantically without providing ample time for family to assess the situation and adjust accordingly!
He should not be allowed to come over with or without his new love interest. That should teach him a lesson that from now on he has to plan and pace and proceed with his interpersonal involvements entire around a timetable approved by you and your family.
The nerve of him...smh

Oh-- aren't you clever. Except when it is my house, around my kids, I get to decide whose sexual partner, revolving family members get to come to my house.
NOT
THE
OP!

I meant I was not the OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha .


Told ya it's a choice. Suck it PC ers!

Turns out 10000 years of human history and the bible are right about the nature of sexuality and the PCers are bumbling idiots.

Looks who's calling who an idiot!! How are people this dense? Please tell me you are 10 years old.

[Anonymous]

I understand how painful and disruptive this is to you and your family. I agree with the PP who suggested your brother and his young thing stay at a hotel (she seriously isn't going to want to stay at your house). This will give everyone some much needed space and you don't have to wash their sheets or worry about sounds coming from the bedroom. I would also get her a small gift (like some Bath & Body works stuff) so she's got something to open. You have no idea how long your brother will be with her but this will allow you to welcome your brother for the holidays and not alienate her or make her feel uncomfortable. What a sucky situation.

[Anonymous]

I think males sexuality is more fluid than people give credit. Treat her politely as a guest and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

How your brother lives his life is none of your business. People get divorced and end relationships all the time. I would not say a thing to my kids unless they asked. You care way more than your kids, I promise.

I would be very careful about passing judgment no matter how much your brother's behavior hurts. It could ruin your relationship forever.