Husband makes work plans during our week at the beach. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What, so you and the kids are all packed in the car and he springs this on you and stays home? OMG.

yep, he goes into the basement and works from his computer. Drives me crazy. We are all standing around going where's DAD. DAD! DAD!

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an ass. He wants to be alone. I bet this has nothing to do with work. I bet he's cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like an ass. He wants to be alone. I bet this has nothing to do with work. I bet he's cheating.

Or he really doesn't want to vacation at the beach but doesn't get much say in the plans. Maybe next year plan a completely different trip based on his interests and see if he comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What, so you and the kids are all packed in the car and he springs this on you and stays home? OMG.

yep, he goes into the basement and works from his computer. Drives me crazy. We are all standing around going where's DAD. DAD! DAD!

wow! that is the saddest thing ever. Have a long talk with him. Tell him that if he doesn't grow some balls and figure out a way to tell work that he can't make it, you are going without him. Possibly for a longer time. Possibly with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the work plans? Do they involve leaving the beach mid-vacation and returning to DC (so at least one day where he is totally absent) or is it possible for him to participate remotely (so missing a trip to the water but around for dinner later that night)?

For me, this is what made the difference. At this point, even when we're on vacation, I assume that DH will need to be dialed in to things at the office once a day at minimum. As long as his work does not mean that he leaves the place we're not vacation or is so caught up that he is completely unavailable for entire days, I'm cool with it. The tradeoff is that when he's done, he gets to do be in charge and I get to take a nap or a hot bath or whatever.

I sure hope your DH makes at least 500K a year for you and him to put up with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What, so you and the kids are all packed in the car and he springs this on you and stays home? OMG.

yep, he goes into the basement and works from his computer. Drives me crazy. We are all standing around going where's DAD. DAD! DAD!

wow! that is the saddest thing ever. Have a long talk with him. Tell him that if he doesn't grow some balls and figure out a way to tell work that he can't make it, you are going without him. Possibly for a longer time. Possibly with someone else.

+1

Does he generally not like to plan time with you and the kids? What is really going on here?

[Anonymous]

I actually don't understand. You pack for two weeks, his luggage is ready to go, and minutes before he goes to the basement and an email suggests he can no longer leave town? This has happened more than once? Something is fishy.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your husband could be a work-a-holic.

Or maybe he just is allergic to seaweed.

All kidding aside, sure I see no harm in inviting another family member to join you.

In the future when planning summer vacations, why not ask your husband if he would like a change of venue.
Maybe he just isn't a beach type.

[Anonymous]

Hello, he is having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Who would rather work than go on vacation? WTf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who would rather work than go on vacation? WTf?

I pull this every year, but then there is extended family involved so its not like anybody is stuck there on their own.


1. I hate the beach and all of the BS that comes with it

2. I normally pay for the whole week for everyone

3. I don't want to go

4. We take other vacations together on our own

5. I can always find legit work to do and would be on the phone or the computer half of the day anyway


I am not having an affair, and I don't feel guilty about not going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, i would NOT tolerate that. We PLAN our vacation months in advance and DH clears it. If something comes up, he brings his computer. He usually does a few things here and there on vacation (as do I).

I'm not sure what you want to do about it, however. But since it does not appear that he's in a new job or has an unstable work situation which requires sucking it up for a while and since you're asking WWYD, I would tell him that if his job is more important than his family, then he is free to leave the family and spend all his time working. Of course, he will be responsible for the children half the time, so he will need to plan his work life accordingly then, too.

y

+1

Do you choose the vacation spot together or are you always choosing something he doesn't want to do?
Every year we do a family vacation and my DH always makes sure he is cleared during that time. VACATION means NO WORK.
I wouldn't put up with your DH. IF he is ALWAYS working, then I would give him the boot and find someone else to spend time with me. Money isn't everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who would rather work than go on vacation? WTf?

My father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who would rather work than go on vacation? WTf?

I pull this every year, but then there is extended family involved so its not like anybody is stuck there on their own.


1. I hate the beach and all of the BS that comes with it

2. I normally pay for the whole week for everyone

3. I don't want to go

4. We take other vacations together on our own

5. I can always find legit work to do and would be on the phone or the computer half of the day anyway


I am not having an affair, and I don't feel guilty about not going.

Is there a reason you just don't tell your spouse you hate the beach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who would rather work than go on vacation? WTf?

I pull this every year, but then there is extended family involved so its not like anybody is stuck there on their own.


1. I hate the beach and all of the BS that comes with it

2. I normally pay for the whole week for everyone

3. I don't want to go

4. We take other vacations together on our own

5. I can always find legit work to do and would be on the phone or the computer half of the day anyway


I am not having an affair, and I don't feel guilty about not going.

I agree fully. 100% We have been going to the beach for 10 plus years, with my DS's extended family. I stay for no more than a few days, and then return to DC. My DS knows I do not like the entire scene. I can deal with a few days to say hello. There are always plenty of people around, so my DS has no real extra burden.