How to feel about wife going dancing / clubing

[Anonymous]

How would she feel if you came along? If she wouldn't like it, that's a potential red flag.

[Anonymous]

I love dancing but I hate clubs. I've only been to one club without DH since we've been married (12 years) and that was in Jan when I went to Sax for my friend's birthday. The music was great, it wasn't packed and I loved the shows. I was also sober.

To get my dancing fix, I've been going to KAZAXE which is a dance workout for about two years now. It's awesome and addictive. Great music, incredible instructors, fun people and a super hard work out.

Oh, I've also been known to throw many a dance party in my own house.

[Anonymous]

She can dance alone. She can dance with friends. The fact that she sees a need to do it in the presence of a bunch of dudes and with alcohol means she's getting something she likes out of the dudes and alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can dance alone. She can dance with friends. The fact that she sees a need to do it in the presence of a bunch of dudes and with alcohol means she's getting something she likes out of the dudes and alcohol.

Oh c'mon.

Where are there any all female dance clubs?

Relax, op. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, its fine. If you trust her, its all good. So what if she gets something out of turning other guys on? Jeez PP.

[Anonymous]

It is something you as a couple decide if you are okay with. You might be fine with your husband going out with male friends to a place where rubbing up against other women and flirting with them and turning them on, and your husband might be fine with you doing that as well.

Or you might both decide you are fine with flirting and being seductive but no physical contact. You have to decide what you are both comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriends and I go to bars and clubs together sometimes. We rarely actually dance with guys. Typically we're standing by the bar, dancing in place while we catch up and chat and drink our wine. My single girlfriends will sometimes meet guys and dance with them, but the "taken" women I know would never do that. (hell, I'm single and it's unusual for me to dance with some guy on a girls' night out.) wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

OP- if it's a country bar, people dance together all the time without it being a romantic/pickup thing. a lot of the dances there are partner dances and asking someone to dance is just a polite thing to do.

[Anonymous]

As a guy I've been to clubs where a fair amount of things have been done that I would only describe in the explicit forum. Here is how I would judge Dw...if she came back and jumped me in bed I would know everything is all right. If she didn't want any I would be worried.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh well that didn't work.

http://youtu.be/8ubF_po4ZJM

[Anonymous]

When I go with friends it's just to hang out with them - not to find guys or hookup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I go with friends it's just to hang out with them - not to find guys or hookup.

+1. If this is an infrequent event, not every weekend, it's absolutely fine. BUT, if you know that she gets drunk (so assuming low inhibitions) during this outings then you might have reason to worry. I don't have statistics but from everything I've heard, most affairs, or hookups for married people don't start with meeting someone in a club but from people one meets during routine activities: work, the local coffee shop etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, it's just fun with her friends. Promise. I never want to dance with men that aren't my husband (and sometimes not even with him). It's more fun to dance by myself or with girlfriends. She just wants to let her hair down with the girls. Nothing at all to worry about, IMO.

Yes, this exactly.

I love to dance - my husband doesn't. Club dancing is loud, group mobs, silly, fun. Let her have her fun and come home to you after - you will probably reap the benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I go with friends it's just to hang out with them - not to find guys or hookup.

+1. If this is an infrequent event, not every weekend, it's absolutely fine. BUT, if you know that she gets drunk (so assuming low inhibitions) during this outings then you might have reason to worry. I don't have statistics but from everything I've heard, most affairs, or hookups for married people don't start with meeting someone in a club but from people one meets during routine activities: work, the local coffee shop etc.

Agreed. Work is far more dangerous to a relationship than a club. When my DW goes out dancing with friends, they dress fairly conservatively, even though they're all pretty much smoking hot. I feel like there's dressed to have fun at a club vs dressed to find a man (or woman). Even still, they always attract a ring of men... I'm sure it feels great to be flattered with the attention and have fun at the same time. We all appreciate this; harmless flirting from the soccer moms or at the bookstore, or at a club. But for a mature adult, it won't change how your spouse feels about you.