How long can you go without sexual intimacy as a couple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that after 15 years of marriage, it goes in phases.

My husband has had random medical issues over the years and between the issue and the surgery/recovery it was a good 6 months. Ditto for my pregnancies. But then there will be other times where it is 3 times a week.

Take it slow, have lots of lube if you had a vaginal birth and any tears. And yes, talk to him, be explicit.

So much misinformation women have about their own bodies! If some of these posts are not an argument for sexual education in the schools, I don't know what is!

Being dry is caused by hormones, in particular a drop in estrogen, NOT if a baby came out of your vagina or was cut out of your uterus. It also is a very frequent sign of perimenopause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that after 15 years of marriage, it goes in phases.

My husband has had random medical issues over the years and between the issue and the surgery/recovery it was a good 6 months. Ditto for my pregnancies. But then there will be other times where it is 3 times a week.

Take it slow, have lots of lube if you had a vaginal birth and any tears. And yes, talk to him, be explicit.

So much misinformation women have about their own bodies! If some of these posts are not an argument for sexual education in the schools, I don't know what is!

Being dry is caused by hormones, in particular a drop in estrogen, NOT if a baby came out of your vagina or was cut out of your uterus. It also is a very frequent sign of perimenopause.

I'm guessing PP meant the lube was for the tears if they were causing sensitivity. And I highly doubt OP is having perimenopause, she may be dry because she's breastfeeding, however.

[Vanilla]

I think the takeaway should be that the need for and frequency of sexual intimacy varies based on circumstances in a marriage. Don't compare your marriage with someone elses.

[Anonymous]

OP, your body may be "broken" but your hand is not and neither is your mouth. You gotta start something, with little things and build up the intimacy again. Give the guy a hand job, take a quick shower together while the baby is napping. Something, anything will do.

[Anonymous]

DH gets really crabby after about 10 days, but we've gone a month or so since having DD 3 years ago and that's been fine for me. We also didn't have sex during the second half of my pregnancy, as I had some complications that made things pretty scary for us (so the sex itself would have been physically fine but we weren't really in that place). I still don't have much libido, but I try to keep an eye on how long it's been and we are both fine with sex as a quick release and reconnection (after 20 years together, we both know it's not going to be like it was when we were 23 and are totally fine with it).

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe your DH is stressed out and depressed after the birth. Dads have post-partum adjustments to make, too, and some of them have a harder time than others. Having a baby is hard on everybody. It might not be you; it might be depression.

Talk to your DH. Tell him that you are worried. If he won't talk about it, ask him to see a therapist.

10 months with no sex is ridiculous. If you hit baby's one year birthday with no sex, you need to push him a little. Gently, with love, but still a little push.

(For the record, we had sex again as soon as everything healed.)

[Anonymous]

If there's no immediate health concern (e.g. pregnant woman on bedrest) then I can't see a healthy person being A-OK with going without for more than a month especially when there's an expectation of sexual fidelity.

Now within that, there may be some disagreement -- e.g. whether to bring out the feather duster, the rubber chicken, etc.

OP, you should get the "pee while you sneeze" thing taken care of. That's going to be a problem no matter what you do and I could see a new guy freaking out due to that.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, I thought we were bad with once every 3 weeks or so. OP, it's probably building up to this big thing now, just break the dry spell! Get yourself in the mood beforehand so there's no pressure. And just approach is as wanting to make your DH feel good. No need to have intercourse first thing or every time. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We haven't had sex for my entire pregnancy, and I'm almost 9 months pregnant. Haven't really thought about it, haven't had any desire. Before pregnancy we would have sex once every 6 months or so, or maybe even less frequently. I have an extremely satisfying marriage and we've been married 12 years. I am 100% satisfied with my marriage. I just personally don't find sex as a general concept that great or fulfilling.

[Anonymous]

Over a year, for sure. I lost track. But we laugh about it and nobody seems to really be upset. Crazy schedules and some health problems. Every marriage is different--as long as you're on the same page, it can work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven't had sex for my entire pregnancy, and I'm almost 9 months pregnant. Haven't really thought about it, haven't had any desire. Before pregnancy we would have sex once every 6 months or so, or maybe even less frequently. I have an extremely satisfying marriage and we've been married 12 years. I am 100% satisfied with my marriage. I just personally don't find sex as a general concept that great or fulfilling.

Do you know how your husband feels about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't had sex for my entire pregnancy, and I'm almost 9 months pregnant. Haven't really thought about it, haven't had any desire. Before pregnancy we would have sex once every 6 months or so, or maybe even less frequently. I have an extremely satisfying marriage and we've been married 12 years. I am 100% satisfied with my marriage. I just personally don't find sex as a general concept that great or fulfilling.

Do you know how your husband feels about that?

He hasn't said anything or initiated, so I assume he is not thinking about sex either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven't had sex for my entire pregnancy, and I'm almost 9 months pregnant. Haven't really thought about it, haven't had any desire. Before pregnancy we would have sex once every 6 months or so, or maybe even less frequently. I have an extremely satisfying marriage and we've been married 12 years. I am 100% satisfied with my marriage. I just personally don't find sex as a general concept that great or fulfilling.

HOLY SHIT!!!!

These responses are crazy!!! I hope your husband feels the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't had sex for my entire pregnancy, and I'm almost 9 months pregnant. Haven't really thought about it, haven't had any desire. Before pregnancy we would have sex once every 6 months or so, or maybe even less frequently. I have an extremely satisfying marriage and we've been married 12 years. I am 100% satisfied with my marriage. I just personally don't find sex as a general concept that great or fulfilling.

Do you know how your husband feels about that?

He hasn't said anything or initiated, so I assume he is not thinking about sex either.

Wowzers. You might want to check on that and ask him directly.

[Anonymous]

Longest pregnancy related abstinence was almost 4 weeks. Other than that, we had to go 19 days due to a medical issue, and we were both miserable. We need it about 6 times a month, minimum, to keep things good between us.