Another friend refused to be my divorce witness.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize. There must be someone kind who knows you who could help. A relative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, asking your ex-SILs boyfriend when your ex is living with them is just playing dirty. Why would you ever think that was a good idea?

Maybe he really didn't agree, he just said, okay, uh huh on the phone rather than an outright no at the moment.

Stop asking in-laws. Ask your own friends and family that aren't related to your ex. It is seeming more and more like people are hesitant to get involved for good reason.

OP: I don't understand why that's playing dirty.

It is an uncontested divorce and my ex already signed the waiver. We have settled everything.

I am a loner and honestly do not have many close friends. I don't tell moms at school about my marriage/divorce. My coworkers know but they don't know my husband. My real friends are childhood friends and they live in Asia. My family is in Asia. I am here really by myself. I work and I take care of my daughter. My ex doesn't even pay child support. I don't ask other people to help and I honestly hate hate hate asking favors from anyone. I would not dreamed of imposing this on anyone if I have other options.

This person knows both of us well. I am not sure what he thinks will happen by helping me. Is it so bad to help me get a divorce? Of all people, he should know what kind of jerk my ex husband is. I am just shaking typing this and crying. I am not playing any games. I just want to get a fucking divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think your ex is making things difficult by telling them stories. That's probably why he went back on his word.

OP: I really don't think so. My ex is out clubbing every night and he can care less. I am not asking for spousal nor child support in the PSA so I haven't filed in 3 years. There is no reason for my ex to mess with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize. There must be someone kind who knows you who could help. A relative?

OP: Thank you. I don't know yet. I need to figure it out tomorrow. I am just so frustrated about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think your ex is making things difficult by telling them stories. That's probably why he went back on his word.

OP: I really don't think so. My ex is out clubbing every night and he can care less. I am not asking for spousal nor child support in the PSA so I haven't filed in 3 years. There is no reason for my ex to mess with this.

Ok now I have to give you a hard time! Ask for child support!!! It's not for you, it's for your child. Make all of this hassle worth something. I wish I knew you so I could sign the paper for you but don't let him off the hook so easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Ok now I have to give you a hard time! Ask for child support!!! It's not for you, it's for your child. Make all of this hassle worth something. I wish I knew you so I could sign the paper for you but don't let him off the hook so easily.

OP: Thanks. I know but I don't want to drag this on. Whatever money from child support is not worth the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok now I have to give you a hard time! Ask for child support!!! It's not for you, it's for your child. Make all of this hassle worth something. I wish I knew you so I could sign the paper for you but don't let him off the hook so easily.

OP: Thanks. I know but I don't want to drag this on. Whatever money from child support is not worth the drama.

Ok good luck (I mean this very sincerely). This will pass and things will sort themselves out.

[Anonymous]

Find a way to divorce, then file for child support.

[Anonymous]

You can't be the first person ever to have had this problem. Try one of the women's centers in the area and ask them for advice.

[Anonymous]

Are you rich? Will money always flow freely to your child? Children cost an incredibly amount of money.

Quality extra-curricular activities are expensive. I spend about $2k per kid per year (violin, gym, theater, etc).
Private school, if your child needs it, is expensive. It could run you $40K per child per year.
Even if you go public, summer camps are expensive. $200 a week minimum during most of the summer.
Tutoring for test prep, academic evaluations, therapies are expensive (the latter most often not covered by insurance). One evaluation I 'm looking at for my oldest with will cost me between $3K-6K.

Everything that as a parent one can do to get one's child ahead of the pack to succeed is expensive.
And then what about a minimum of outfits and accessories so that your child doesn't feel left out socially? Those trendy clothes and electronics add up too fast for my liking

So... you really need child support.
Even if your spouse doesn't have a dime to his name right now, he might later on and be made to pay it.

Right now you are depressed with low self-esteem and can't think straight. Hire a good lawyer to help you. Don't be afraid to ask people for help and stop thinking about disturbing their comfort. They're not the ones going through a divorce right now, you are! Be insistent yet polite.

You will really regret it later if you don't fight the good fight now.

[Anonymous]

OP: Thanks. I am not rich but really money is the last thing on my mind. I am re-reading his angry email to me and I honestly don't understand his hostility.

[Anonymous]

Why in the world do you keep asking people who are closer to him than to you? That is just idiotic and rude.

[Anonymous]

OP: maybe hard to believe but all the people that know both of us are his relatives. Mine lives overseas. Do you think I enjoy asking them?

[Anonymous]

Doesn't he want to get divorced too? I would think his friends would be willing to answer the written deposition questions if it means that they get their party buddy back free and clear. I'm sorry, though, OP. I don't know why people are piling on when it sounds like you are suffering and feeling alone.

It sounds like it would be worth it to get a lawyer. He or she can help you figure out the witness issue and also file for child support. It IS worth the trouble, I promise you.

[Anonymous]

So in 3 years you don't know anyone to ask to be a witness? Neighbor? Co-worker? You have no friends at all? Just people related to him because everyone you are close to is in Asia? Then you come on here looking for advice and when it is given to you, you shoot it all down one by one. Good luck.