Another friend refused to be my divorce witness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Seeing as there are 32 questions the witness has to answer, it sounds a little more detailed and involved then just signing saying you are confirming living arrangements.

OP: It's mostly "Do you know her?" How long have you know her? Do they have this many children? Are they in the military?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:can't you just ask a friend. seems much easier. i just agreed to do this for a friend of mine. does not seem like a huge favor to me.

Op doesn't have any

OP: Yes, I am the wicked witch. Continue please, I am used to it by now.

My ex's family all live here. We moved here to be closer to them when we were married.

I think I need to move and get out of this city. I feel so hated by them here and it's really bringing me down.

[Anonymous]

Ok OP, what you seem to be missing is that by being YOUR witness, it is being on a side. Which is incredibly awkward for your husband's sister's live in boyfriend. Or any family member of your husband.

Are there really 32 questions to be answered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seeing as there are 32 questions the witness has to answer, it sounds a little more detailed and involved then just signing saying you are confirming living arrangements.

OP: It's mostly "Do you know her?" How long have you know her? Do they have this many children? Are they in the military?

But I don't understand why you don't seem to get that it is probably uncomfortable for him to answer all these questions on your behalf. You seem so stuck on it.

[Anonymous]

This is the second person to refuse to be your witness correct? I'm going to guess there is more at play here than the innocent victim mentality you are portraying on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seeing as there are 32 questions the witness has to answer, it sounds a little more detailed and involved then just signing saying you are confirming living arrangements.

OP: It's mostly "Do you know her?" How long have you know her? Do they have this many children? Are they in the military?

But I don't understand why you don't seem to get that it is probably uncomfortable for him to answer all these questions on your behalf. You seem so stuck on it.

+1000. Many other posters pointed it out. Just because it may seem like some silly check-the-box questions to you, it may not to them.

It's a tough situation, but the OP seems dead set on forcing a square peg into a round hole here.

[Anonymous]

I get that it sucks for YOU OP, but it boggles me that you can't understand why people might not want to get involved in what is clearly a not-very-neat divorce. Your last friend was within her rights to refuse, and so is the SIL's boyfriend (even moreso, actually since he is currently living with your ex). People do NOT want to get dragged into other people's divorces. I said this in your last thread and I repeat it again here: this is the kind of thing I would do for my sister and probably no one else. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time getting anyone on board, but you really can't be surprised or hold it against them. Your divorce isn't their problem.

[Anonymous]

And based on your reactions here, there is more drama then what you are letting on. I don't believe this is a nice, easy, clean divorce. Time to be honest with yourself and others if you want to find a witness.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you think your soon to be ex's family are your friends. They aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:can't you just ask a friend. seems much easier. i just agreed to do this for a friend of mine. does not seem like a huge favor to me.

OP: Thank you. It's like I am asking him to donate a kidney to me.

I don't want to argue about whether my lawyer is right or wrong. I googled the law and it is apparently required to have a collaborating witness in Virginia. I need to sign a deposition too myself.

My point is this is a relatively straightforward thing. There is no side to be taken. We both agreed to divorce.

He treated me like I am the biggest witch on the planet. He has no right to insult me. He should just say no. That's what I am angry about.

Maybe you don't want to hear that your lawyer is wrong, but don't come here citing all your bullshit reasons for keeping yourself, and as you insist your children, in a precarious position if it is a self-created problem, which it is.

[Anonymous]

Well, I think it was apparent from the start that it would obviously put him in a very awkward position to do this for you, since he is living with your ex. I would not have asked him, but since you did, he should have just said no straight out. The fact is, he didn't and what useful purpose does it serve for you to stew in anger at him? It does nothing to help your situation to wonder about this man's motives, he was never one of your close friends to begin with, focus on moving on and finding someone else.

[Anonymous]

you seem mostly angry because SIL's bf not only said no but was hostile while doing so. Perhaps this is because your ex is living with him and he thinks it's kind of crazy that you asked him to do this for you. He didn't have to be rude but to be honest I prob would have been too in his shoes in this situation... but whatever, it's over, he said no, move on to someone else (who is on your side because there are sides whether it's contested or uncontested.) Also agree that you seem prone to drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the second person to refuse to be your witness correct? I'm going to guess there is more at play here than the innocent victim mentality you are portraying on here.

Emphasis on the "victim" part. I feel for OP but this "woe is me, no one will help me" wears thin after 4-5 pages. A lot of people have offered suggestions but she rejects every last one of them. She is on the self-pity train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the second person to refuse to be your witness correct? I'm going to guess there is more at play here than the innocent victim mentality you are portraying on here.

Emphasis on the "victim" part. I feel for OP but this "woe is me, no one will help me" wears thin after 4-5 pages. A lot of people have offered suggestions but she rejects every last one of them. She is on the self-pity train.

right and she doesn't want to discuss whether her lawyer is right or wrong or find an actual solution after 3 years - FFS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

OP: It suck to ask anyone. I can rely on no one. I actually have been separated for 3 years because I am afraid to impose on someone to get involved. No one wants to get involved.

Yet you asked two friends and no family members?

I can't ask my family. They live overseas. Don't you think I would have done that by now?

Considering you NEVER mentioned that in your post and simply said that you don't want to ask them, no, no one thought that. Anyways, people back out of stuff all the time. Deal with it by letting go and moving on. What more can you do? Threaten him to do it? Geez, just let it go.

Based on this response, I imagine you kind of suck as a person. I would hate to be your friend in need or your child.