Another friend refused to be my divorce witness.

[Anonymous]

I posted here before about my friend refused to be my divorce witness.

I don't want to ask my in-laws so I asked my ex SIL's live-in boyfriend. We have known each other for 10 years but we are not close. We don't talk on the phone but we do see each other from time to time because of my kid. My ex husband actually has been living with my SIL and him since our separation.

He agreed at first but I just received an angry email from him. He said we never talked on the phone and he does not know my life style well enough. I don't mind him saying no as much as his angry email. It's almost as if he's yelling at me for asking in the first place.

I actually cried for 2 hours. He agreed a month ago and I just got my the deposition from my lawyer. I wish he would have just said no so I didn't get my hopes up that it's resolved and I can finally get a divorce. He told me he said yes at first because he cares about my child. Not sure how that's related but oh well.

[Anonymous]

I remember your post from last time. Your friends do not want to get involved and honestly, I do not blame them. Please ask your in laws and leave your friends alone when it comes to your divorce.

[Anonymous]

Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

[Anonymous]

OP: This person is my SIL's boyfriend. I said boyfriend but they have lived together for 10 years. I have known him for 10 years. He sees my husband everyday since they share the same house.

Why didn't he just say no in the first place? He said yes. Then called me yesterday and told me he's going to my house to give me the paper. He just never showed.

[Anonymous]

honey, you need to ask someone closer than that. I'm assuming you need a witness to say they know both of you and that as far as they know, you all haven't cohabited since the separation. It's a pretty big favor to ask someone to trudge up to the court house, lawyer's office, etc for a few hours including travel. Someone closer to you, there must be someone, who can corroborate you have lived separate and apart. Someone you don't talk to on the phone is probobly someone you aren't that close to anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

OP: It suck to ask anyone. I can rely on no one. I actually have been separated for 3 years because I am afraid to impose on someone to get involved. No one wants to get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

OP: It suck to ask anyone. I can rely on no one. I actually have been separated for 3 years because I am afraid to impose on someone to get involved. No one wants to get involved.

Yet you asked two friends and no family members?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:honey, you need to ask someone closer than that. I'm assuming you need a witness to say they know both of you and that as far as they know, you all haven't cohabited since the separation. It's a pretty big favor to ask someone to trudge up to the court house, lawyer's office, etc for a few hours including travel. Someone closer to you, there must be someone, who can corroborate you have lived separate and apart. Someone you don't talk to on the phone is probobly someone you aren't that close to anyway

OP: He doesn't need to go anywhere. The divorce is uncontested and he only needs to answer the question on the written deposition. No courthouse, no lawyer, no nothing.

We don't talk on the phone but we see each other about once a month. My husband lives with him and sees him everyday. That's not proof enough that we are separated?

I understand he doesn't want to get involved. Why can't he just say so in the first place?

[Anonymous]

What exactly is involved in being a witness? I find it a little strange you asked your SIL's partner since your ex is staying with them but it might have been smart since they are actual witnesses. In any event, I'm sorry you are going through all of this drama just to get divorced. ask you in laws and be done with it. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

OP: It suck to ask anyone. I can rely on no one. I actually have been separated for 3 years because I am afraid to impose on someone to get involved. No one wants to get involved.

Yet you asked two friends and no family members?

I can't ask my family. They live overseas. Don't you think I would have done that by now?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this person went back on his word and is making feel this way.

It's circumstances like these where you really find out who your friends are.

Stay strong, OP.

[Anonymous]

Op, asking your ex-SILs boyfriend when your ex is living with them is just playing dirty. Why would you ever think that was a good idea?

Maybe he really didn't agree, he just said, okay, uh huh on the phone rather than an outright no at the moment.

Stop asking in-laws. Ask your own friends and family that aren't related to your ex. It is seeming more and more like people are hesitant to get involved for good reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is crummy of you to ask him.

OP: It suck to ask anyone. I can rely on no one. I actually have been separated for 3 years because I am afraid to impose on someone to get involved. No one wants to get involved.

Yet you asked two friends and no family members?

I can't ask my family. They live overseas. Don't you think I would have done that by now?

Considering you NEVER mentioned that in your post and simply said that you don't want to ask them, no, no one thought that. Anyways, people back out of stuff all the time. Deal with it by letting go and moving on. What more can you do? Threaten him to do it? Geez, just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is involved in being a witness? I find it a little strange you asked your SIL's partner since your ex is staying with them but it might have been smart since they are actual witnesses. In any event, I'm sorry you are going through all of this drama just to get divorced. ask you in laws and be done with it. Good luck

OP: There is a written deposition with 32 questions. It asked basic information like name, address, how long he has known me, and if he knows about the separation. He just needs to take it to sign in front of a notary. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is involved in being a witness? I find it a little strange you asked your SIL's partner since your ex is staying with them but it might have been smart since they are actual witnesses. In any event, I'm sorry you are going through all of this drama just to get divorced. ask you in laws and be done with it. Good luck

OP: There is a written deposition with 32 questions. It asked basic information like name, address, how long he has known me, and if he knows about the separation. He just needs to take it to sign in front of a notary. That's all.

Do you think your ex is making things difficult by telling them stories. That's probably why he went back on his word.