I live inside my head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there other people out there like this? I have come to recognize that I live inside my head. Ever since I was a little girl, I've manage to create my own world inside my head and I often feel like I'm a visitor to my "real" life. I don't think I've allowed anyone to get close to me enough to know who I really am. Not my family, friends, not even DH. I am for the most part extroverted and I get along well with people but I often feel like my interaction with people is me playing a role. I float outside myself to watch my interactions with people. I'm not sure how to describe it, I tend to feel like this imagined world without any inhabitants, that I've created in my head is my real life and that I just "pop in" to my life to say hello, i.e., home life, work, social life, etc. I spend my days daydreaming and not being totally present.

Often, when DH or family and friends describe my personality, I smile to myself and think "you have absolutely no idea". I'm batshit crazy right?

Yes. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Bat-shit crazy.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering OP, is your star sign Cancer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering OP, is your star sign Cancer?

no Pisces. I've read about my star sign and it describes my personality but then I tend to think those things are BS.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the responses yet but OP I know exactly what you mean and am the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what goes on in your alternate world? Do you imagine like actual conversations with other people? Or do you just have like a running picture of you doing something else?

It's a mix of both. It's really hard to describe. I imagine my life aka work, home, social interactions as a movie that I'm watching, and that everyone in the movie is not real, they are all just made up characters. I'm kind of oblivious to people, I look through them in a way.


Reading everything I've written, perhaps I should see a therapist but I wouldn't even know what to tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do the exact same thing.

+1 me too. I even googled daydreaming once because I thought it was getting out of control.

[Anonymous]

I do this a lot myself.
This year I am working on doing this less and being more proactive in making my "real" life more of what I want.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I love DH and I enjoy being married to him but I will be honest that it wasn't and is not burning love because he doesn't really know me. But then again, I don't believe in burning love and I feel as if no one out there really "gets" me.

I had no plans for marriage, kids, or any of those milestones of life and if DH hadnt come along, I can see myself never getting married or having children and never being bothered by it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am like this, and I actually am a writer/creative type - it's what I do for a living. I need a lot of me time and head time as a result. Often, that means I don't sleep much, as the only time I truly have to myself is late at night when everyone is asleep. But the world that's in my head is typically the world of the project I'm working on, or something I read about that I'm mulling over.

You are not crazy. But agree with others that you may need a creative outlet, or time for you to just be in your head without guilt.

[Anonymous]

OP, it might be a coping mechanism for being overwhelmed. Many people get overwhelmed when they move to this area because of the overcrowding, traffic, getting from point A to point B is a big to do, etc.

I remember when I met DHs family and they seemed so overwhelmed by every smallest thing, yet had few or no outlets. I could not imagine living like that. Yet I am reasonably sure they do not have their own "mind" going on about other things, they just are not that bright. (I am not saying this to be mean, I am saying this because it is anonymous).

So your point is interesting. I am curious as to what is your job, hobbies, past times? Do you like school?

[Anonymous]

You're not alone. My grandmother used to tell me I was always "looking at the butterflies" when I was little. (Her way of saying I was in my own head/not in the real world.) For me, it comes and goes now that I am an adult. I go through months where I am present, and then months where my imagination is super active. There are times when I have used it as a coping mechanism, but not always.

I started writing as soon as I learned how, and never stopped. Now, with adult obligations etc., I try to dedicate at least half an hour before bed to it. Sometimes journal-type of writing, but mostly fiction. It is a good outlet. You should try it!

I have a good job, a bunch of friends, a great relationship. My friends all think I am highly practical, which is hilarious to me. At heart, I am a huge introvert and prefer to stay home "daydreaming" and writing.

You're not crazy! You're interesting! (Spoken by a kindred spirit, of course, so I may be biased ...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am the EXACT same way. I am always imagining others viewing my life, like a show looping in other peoples' heads (how dull for them). And I am always shocked/saddened when I realize I have actually done something in my real life, not waiting for something -- like I have a baby (and I love the baby), but I feel like everyone else really has a baby. It is so odd. Has always been this way. Hard to explain. But I remember learning in psych 101 that a lot of adolescents do this. I apparently never grew out of it.

I feel this way too. I look at DD and think...is that really my DD? I love her, but I don't feel like she's mine. I feel that way about DH and pretty much everyone. I feel like I watch my life from above but I'm not really in it.

[Anonymous]

I am a bit like this too, OP. For some reason, it just seems like stuff happens more intensely for other people than me, even if it's the same stuff. For instance, I have my own family. But it just seems like other people REALLY have families and I'm just sort of... playing? I also tend to be highly imaginative and just sort of let all sorts of scenarios for various things play out in my head. What if ____ and then ____ and _____? I have an intense memory and will go back and revisit things that happened YEARS ago. Maybe that's it- maybe it just takes stuff that happens to me a long time to sink in. I don't know.

For what it's worth, I've been a writer my whole life too. Nothing published, so I'm not really "a writer" but I write constantly and have a need to do it.

[Anonymous]

^^ yep, me too, exact same thing. It has really impacted my ability to have relationships. I have searched for narcissistic personality disorder and other disorders to try and understand it. I don't know, its bizarre. I also have a successful outer life, but I've done some dark secret messed up stuff, and I have issues with responsibility/risk that all extend from a kind of lack of self preservation, if that makes sense, or a lack of self respect -- I think because I don't really feel engaged in well anything. This said, I make a relatively large salary, am a professional, have lots of friends, and good relationships with my family, but it is hard, because it all feels superficial/as only part of me is involved in any way. The only time I feel fully "present" is when I am getting to know a new person I am excited about (friend or love interest, in the past). Then I retreat to my head. Odd, I know.