I live inside my head

[Anonymous]

Are there other people out there like this? I have come to recognize that I live inside my head. Ever since I was a little girl, I've manage to create my own world inside my head and I often feel like I'm a visitor to my "real" life. I don't think I've allowed anyone to get close to me enough to know who I really am. Not my family, friends, not even DH. I am for the most part extroverted and I get along well with people but I often feel like my interaction with people is me playing a role. I float outside myself to watch my interactions with people. I'm not sure how to describe it, I tend to feel like this imagined world without any inhabitants, that I've created in my head is my real life and that I just "pop in" to my life to say hello, i.e., home life, work, social life, etc. I spend my days daydreaming and not being totally present.

Often, when DH or family and friends describe my personality, I smile to myself and think "you have absolutely no idea". I'm batshit crazy right?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like something that your psyche created as a protective measure, maybe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like something that your psyche created as a protective measure, maybe?

I don't know, maybe. But I've never been hurt to the point that I need to protect myself. I can't imagine why I would need to create that alternate reality.

[Anonymous]

Sounds interesting. Do you mean that what you actually do in your everyday life is not what you would like to do, i.e., you go married because you were the right age and it is what is expected? If you are just playing a role, and not being who you want to be, you have days of depression in your future. Try done talk therapy to help you improve your relationships with others.

[Anonymous]

What is your alternative reality like? Have you tried artistic avenues or writing to channel your creative streak?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like disassociation. Try the Courtois practice in DC.

[Anonymous]

OP, I do the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your alternative reality like? Have you tried artistic avenues or writing to channel your creative streak?

I don't know, I've never really thought of it that way. It's usually me with an abundance of folk music playing everywhere I go. Think me, deserted island, pandora (filled with Bob Dylan, Damien Rice, Amos Lee, Ray Lamontagne, Jeff Buckley songs) constantly playing. I don't think I'm particularly creative, never really tried. I'm 33 and I thought the birth of DD would change things for me but a year later, I'm finding that I'm still that person that "shows up" and does what needs to get done in life but retreats back into my inner world at the end of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like something that your psyche created as a protective measure, maybe?

I don't know, maybe. But I've never been hurt to the point that I need to protect myself. I can't imagine why I would need to create that alternate reality.

Hmmm. Maybe it's just as simple as you are extra-creative, if you don't think you need to create an alternate reality. Maybe there's something in your way-back past you are unconsciously blocking out? Have you been to a therapist to talk things out?

[Anonymous]

OP I am the EXACT same way. I am always imagining others viewing my life, like a show looping in other peoples' heads (how dull for them). And I am always shocked/saddened when I realize I have actually done something in my real life, not waiting for something -- like I have a baby (and I love the baby), but I feel like everyone else really has a baby. It is so odd. Has always been this way. Hard to explain. But I remember learning in psych 101 that a lot of adolescents do this. I apparently never grew out of it.

[Anonymous]

I know what you are talking about....kinda. I feel like there is me and there is the "real me" inside of me that has no filter. I think things to myself that I would never tell another person...even my husband. Example...my in-laws have the ugliest feet I've ever seen. I keep that inside my head and laugh about it in my "alternate universe space." Someone can talk to me and I can have a whole conversation inside my head about it. I have great relationships with people and am well liked. I'm pretty normal I guess and no, I'm not on any sort of medication.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are talking about....kinda. I feel like there is me and there is the "real me" inside of me that has no filter. I think things to myself that I would never tell another person...even my husband. Example...my in-laws have the ugliest feet I've ever seen. I keep that inside my head and laugh about it in my "alternate universe space." Someone can talk to me and I can have a whole conversation inside my head about it. I have great relationships with people and am well liked. I'm pretty normal I guess and no, I'm not on any sort of medication.

OP here, this exactly!. I constantly have conversations in my head but I don't feel crazy..or maybe I am.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're okay. I think perhaps you're not as extroverted as you may think you are, and perhaps are more creative than you realize.

[Anonymous]

But what goes on in your alternate world? Do you imagine like actual conversations with other people? Or do you just have like a running picture of you doing something else?