I live inside my head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But what goes on in your alternate world? Do you imagine like actual conversations with other people? Or do you just have like a running picture of you doing something else?

It's a mix of both. It's really hard to describe. I imagine my life aka work, home, social interactions as a movie that I'm watching, and that everyone in the movie is not real, they are all just made up characters. I'm kind of oblivious to people, I look through them in a way.


Reading everything I've written, perhaps I should see a therapist but I wouldn't even know what to tell them.

Could this be autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly don't mean any disrespect, but I feel as if this thread is a single person talking to herself. I consider myself to very much be in my own world, that many don't understand me on a deep level, all that stuff, but I don't get this at all (the in-head soundtrack? the talking to yourself? the no one knows me? the my kid doesn't feel like my kid?) I don't get it.

agree with this and would like to add is this some type of Dungeons and Dragons subculture and what dark stuff are you partaking in? harming animals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I must say i'm surprised at the response to this thread, I thought I was the only one like this.

How many of you have spouses and kids though and how do you relate to them? Do you ever fear that the way you are will affect your kids? If so how?[/quote

Spouse and kid. Sometimes I get annoyed when he keeps talking to me and it is messing up my daydream. I have to force myself to stay present.

[Anonymous]

This is a really strange yet interesting thread....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really strange yet interesting thread....

Not your typical DCUM stuff. Fascinating. Goes to show that you can talk about anything here and find others who share your perspective or experience.

[Anonymous]

I find this fascinating, too. I'm trying to wrap my brain around it and understand PP's experience. I'm a daydreame
and can definitely get lost in my head and create whole scenarios, but when I finish I always feel like I'm coming back to reality - my real life feels like my real life.
But I will say that having kids changed my life so completely that even now, seven years later I am stunned by it, dumbfounded. Like PP, sometimes I look at my kids in awe and have a "how did I get here", "is this really my life moment". I think back to who I was pre-kids and it feels like I was another person entirely, and I do have moments where I wonder who the "real me" is. But I really think these moments are more about entering mid-life, aging, moving through the life cycle, etc - which is different than what OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Watching life instead living it? Depression. I'm surprised no one has mentioned it yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I must say i'm surprised at the response to this thread, I thought I was the only one like this.

How many of you have spouses and kids though and how do you relate to them? Do you ever fear that the way you are will affect your kids? If so how?[/quote

Spouse and kid. Sometimes I get annoyed when he keeps talking to me and it is messing up my daydream. I have to force myself to stay present.

Yes, this me (the underlined and bolded above). If I am occupied with something (real or what is going on oin my head) I feel extremely put-upon to pull my head out of that if I am interrupted by someone else. Extreeeeeeeemly put-upon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

bakersman wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I must say i'm surprised at the response to this thread, I thought I was the only one like this.

How many of you have spouses and kids though and how do you relate to them? Do you ever fear that the way you are will affect your kids? If so how?

Are you asking for the number of real or imaginary spouses and kids?

Ha! real spouses and kids. In my alternate world, I don't have a spouse or kids

Ha ha, me neither. B/c that would kind of drag me down - lol. It's just me in my alternate world.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this thread. I have always been kind of like this, too. I force myself to interact with other people, but it's like learning a part in a play or something. It's gotten easier over the years, but I spent my childhood in my head for the most part.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I am also surprised by how many people are relating to this. OP's description sounded a bit dissociative, even maladaptive - but perhaps more common than I thought?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I am also surprised by how many people are relating to this. OP's description sounded a bit dissociative, even maladaptive - but perhaps more common than I thought?

That's the thing, the two terms above are usually aligned with trauma or repressed memories of sort, but it seems the posters on this thread have perfectly good REAL lives but yet there is that need to retreat in the other.

[Anonymous]

^^ yep. I'm even a "one percenter" and I do this all the time. I don't think it is narcissim or classic disassociation. I can also be very good socially if I elect to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sort of like this...I can completely end a friendship (usually just by not responding) if its on my terms. If its not on my terms I become a bit obsessed about it.

ha! I am the same way. I never thought to connect the two- my obsessive daydreaming and my ability to just shrug and walk away from people. It has only recently dawned on me that I am a bit self-absorbed. Like I have to remind myself that people want me to ask how was your weekend etc. Otherwise, I;d be happy to keep singing songs in my head or having my imaginery dramas that keep me entertained/

Ha ha! This is me too!!!!

+1000, I am often shocked that people MAY be interested in me to the point of getting irritated when they ask about me. So I direct the questions to them and ask about them instead but often I find that I genuinely don't care about the answers

I can't tell you how much time I have spent talking to my therapist about this exact issue -- "do any thing exciting this weekend? what are you having for lunch today?" I have no idea why it irritates me. I just keep reminding myself that they are trying to be nice and simply don't have anything more interesting to say. So I have started coming to lunch with a couple of topics to discuss that interest me and might be an interest to others.

See...I'm the opposite. I assume people are interested in me and I talk about myself, but have to ACTIVELY remember to ask about them.

[Anonymous]

just an update, OP -- this really got me thinking -- I have done this for a looooong time and I am the one doing dark awful stuff -- well, self harming things, and issues people with impulse control have (spending, substances, etc.). I decided to see someone, and it turns out, I have mild borderline personality disorder. Um, eek. I am not stunned -- there have been some things I have done that I am horrified by and don't understand, but I'm of course, well, upset. I am also successful professionaly and have a family. So, clearly its not totally ruining my life, but definitely impacting it severly. identity issues, disassociation, self harm, impulsive behavior, extreme fear of abandonment, and turning emotions off and on, issues with self esteem -- those are the hallmarks. Psychotherapy is recommended. I am at the start of my journey, but hope this helps anyone that was a little startled by confronting their by their identify issues.