S/O- Anyone married more than 7 years & happy?

[Anonymous]

Yes, married 11 years, and we are very happy. There are rough patches, and the key is to try to break the pattern. We went through one recently, and we had to make some big changes to fix it, but we broke through again, and things are great!

[Anonymous]

I am jealous.....

[Anonymous]

Yes! No resentment because we say what's bothering us when it's bothering us. We do a lot of things together, and as a family (3 kids). Trust and at least weekly sex matter a lot!

[Anonymous]

This is such a reassuring thread. We've only been married 7 years so far, but with kid #2 on the way, I worry about keeping our marriage healthy with our hands full. Great to know this is possible!

[Anonymous]

Happily married? Yes. Blissful? Sometimes, but not always. We've been married 10 years. We didn't live together before marriage and we got engaged in less than a year. I have no regrets at all.

We hit a rough patch over the holidays -lots of arguing- and it took us a while to sort through things but as painful as it was I do think it made our relationship stronger.

What works for us?

*Be a cheerleader for eachother & give genuine compliments often

*Choose your battles

*Pay attention to what you bring to the table and continue to work on self-awareness and personal change. I started to realize sometimes I could be a real bitch when pissed and it's better to think first and handle things well than be bitchy and then apologize. Changing things in me and being more aware, improved the dynamic.

*I have a life and friends-don't expect my husband to be my everything, but he is my BEST friend and there are some things I only share with him.

*Sex is a great stress relief and it helps us stay happy

* Come to an agreement about in-laws, money, children, religion BEFORE you get married and then revisit these issues as needed rather than making them the elephant in the living room

*A good marriage is more important than always pleasing family and friends. He comes first. It's important to have a network, but don't let anyone undermine your marital relationship (e.g. overdemanding and critical MIL or friend who expects you to be her only emotional support and therefore she feels comfortable calling at 3:00am as needed, etc)

[Anonymous]

Together nineteen years, married eleven. All happy. He's my best friend. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else, and he feels the same way. At the same time, we give each other space to do our own thing on occasion. It helps that we have similar interests, and it really helps that we share the same approach toward money. Respect is very important. It sounds simple, but say "please" and "thank you.". If you treat strangers more politely than you do your spouse, you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Very happy - married 9 years, 2 kids. We have our occasional arguments, but overall - on a day to day basis - we really are happy together, say and mean "I love you", sex 3 times/week, respect and appreciate the other, help each other, support on another, etc...

We did have a rough year #2 when DH was keeping some secrets (not cheating or anything like that). But since then we've been 100% honest and haven't had a major issue since.

[Anonymous]

Married 28 years and, yes, very happy most of the time. We've had our rough patches (we've reared 3 kids through adolescence) and probably will again (one more to go), but we've always come through and we'll do it again. Communication is important as many PPs have noted, but so is commitment -- sheer, dogged, perseverance. So is gratitude -- every time I think the grass might be greener, I force myself to think about how fortunate I am in many ways to have the love and commitment of an extraordinarily forgiving and steadfast man who still makes me laugh, makes me think, has his hair and his waistline, and who loves our kids as much as I do. Does he piss me off at least once a week? Yeah . . . sometimes with good reason on my part, but sometimes just because I'm in a pissy mood. Besides, how often do I piss him off? In the end, maybe it's about acceptance of the good and the bad and everything in the middle.

[Anonymous]

Yes, married almost 10 years. There have been some ups and downs and I range from being merely satisfied to very happy.

[Anonymous]

Married 20+ years. I am very happy and I think our marriage gets better each year. As Elbert Hubbard said, "Happiness is a habit. Cultivate it."

[Anonymous]

Yes, married almost 8 years and happy, expecting a 3rd kid. I think a lot of the whiners on DCUM are people who rushed into marriage, or ignored major character flaws.

[Anonymous]

Blissfully married 16 years this June, together 19 years, high school sweethearts. We are madly, passionately in love, moreso every day, best friends, so happy.

Different cultures, ethnicities, temperaments, socioeconomic statuses, and faiths when we first fell in love. Now we share a faith, and that is the key to our happiness. We are open to children, mutually supportive in our roles in the family, and absolutely loyal to one another.

We are "each the other's world entire."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Married 15, together 20. We both come from families of divorce, both occurring when we were around 10 or so. I think what works for us is that we have a lot of separate interests and both of us have decent social lives outside of one another. But we also make sure to have time as a family, and time as a couple.

Would you be ok with your husband socializing with a female he found attractive and possibly attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blissfully married 16 years this June, together 19 years, high school sweethearts. We are madly, passionately in love, moreso every day, best friends, so happy.

Different cultures, ethnicities, temperaments, socioeconomic statuses, and faiths when we first fell in love. Now we share a faith, and that is the key to our happiness. We are open to children, mutually supportive in our roles in the family, and absolutely loyal to one another.

We are "each the other's world entire."

Yikes! What are you gonna do when one of you dies? Lose your whole world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very happy - married 9 years, 2 kids. We have our occasional arguments, but overall - on a day to day basis - we really are happy together, say and mean "I love you", sex 3 times/week, respect and appreciate the other, help each other, support on another, etc...

We did have a rough year #2 when DH was keeping some secrets (not cheating or anything like that). But since then we've been 100% honest and haven't had a major issue since.

How would you feel if your husband told you he was going out with co-workers but learned he went out with a woman he just met (and possibly some of her friends).