S/O- Anyone married more than 7 years & happy?
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Anonymous
| There have been many posts recently about unhappily married couples. I get that after a certain # of years together, you'll go through rough patches (and some irreconcilable patches). But I'm looking for some inspiration. Have you been married more than 7 years & are you happy? If so, what is your secret? |
Anonymous
| Blissfully. Really. 22 years. Communication. We're just honest about stuff and talk it out as soon as it comes up and always have. |
Anonymous
|
Yes. Not all the time, but in general, yes.
no real secret, other than my husband and I love and respect each other, both come from stable marriages so have that as our role models, and when there is conflict we (eventually) manage to communicate through it / create some kind of plan. We've also known each other for a long time and knew one another for 8 years before we got married, so we knew we liked each other and could have fun together. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Married 15, together 20. We both come from families of divorce, both occurring when we were around 10 or so. I think what works for us is that we have a lot of separate interests and both of us have decent social lives outside of one another. But we also make sure to have time as a family, and time as a couple. |
Anonymous
| I am crazy about DH! Granted we have been married 8 years but have been together 11 years. He also taught me how to argue better. Our communication has improved. We also make each other laugh. It also helps that he is great in bed. |
Anonymous
|
Coming up fast on year 7 and happy. We did, however, have a horrific 2nd year that I thought was going to lead to divorce. And it did leave scars. So not as happy now as year 1. But happy enough.
The secret? No idea. Maybe I have lower expectations than others on here. Many people seem to want a soulmate that meets all their needs and most of their wants. I married late so I have a long history of meeting most wants and needs for myself. Anything that my spouse brings to the relationship is a wonderful plus. |
Anonymous
| Does just 7 years count? We've known each other for almost 20 if it makes a difference.. |
Anonymous
| Married 4, together 18, known each other 20. We've been through rough patches, although mostly in the first 7 years of our relationship. We've gone to counseling when needed and are just really committed to each other. We are best friends and can't imagine being apart, so our approach to conflict or difficulty starts from that point. I think the biggest factor is that we are not trying to fit each other into a spot in our lives reserved for "a wife" or "a husband," we are partners and have taken each new step in our own way when it was time for us. We relate to each other as people we love, not categories (including "breadwinner" or "SAHM") and we're happy. It doesn't hurt that we now have a 2yo DD with whom we are both completely in love! |
Anonymous
| PP here, and I guess from the posts before that it does indeed count, so I guess I will say that we don't really have a secret either. We married young, (we were both 20) but we have known each other since we were 10, and were great friends before we ever got together. We already could talk about anything, and I think that made the biggest difference for us. I know people think it sounds silly, but I truly believe that he's my soul mate and that we were meant to be together. We go through rough patches.. We go through ruts where life gets in the way, but we talk about those problems and we both make an effort even if just one of us notices something that makes us less happy. |
Anonymous
| Yes, almost 16 years here. |
Anonymous
This, except we've been together for 18 and married for 15. |
Anonymous
| Married 13 together 20. Very happy. Mutual respect communication, laughing, still in love. It's work - both of us make each other feel special and important. Always say thank you. Spend a lot of time together as a family and enjoy each others company. You won't be happy unless you both work at it. If it's not what you want now, take the lead and change your behavior first, be positive up beat, He may follow your lead. |
Anonymous
| 25 years. Very happy. It's all about balance. We share breadwinning, child rearing, home maintenance, etc. Money helps, we've never argued about money, in part because we have enough and largely because we share the same priorities about saving and spending. |
Anonymous
| Coming up on 9 years of marriage, met 20 months before that, and very happy. Not that we never argue (and sometimes fight) but our life is good, and we love each other very much. |
Anonymous
|
Not blissful, but definitely happy. Nearly eleven years, with some rough patches, but we both know we've got each others' back and are a united team.
Having a high level of trust helps, as does understanding each others' strengths and weaknesses. We're on the same page about large life decisions, too. I have had to learn to argue -- I used to think that fighting was a symptom of problems, but festering and sulking is much worse. |