Whats the big deal about being old money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as old money in the US. Nouveau riche trying to pretend they are something they are not.

Really?? You don't consider the Rockefellars to be old money (for example)? The Vanderbilts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, who cares? Really. Ignore all of this craziness. You should be proud of what you accomplished. I say buy what you like -- you don't have to have furniture that "suggests it was inherited" or "good, edgy modern stuff that shows you have good taste."

You should buy what you like and not give in to all of the snobs in this town. It doesn't matter how "old" your money is, there are certain people that will never accept anyone not in their circle (or "above") because they are insecure. You don't want to be part of that anyway.

IMHO, you're fine as long as you don't brag or discuss what you have or how much it cost.

I'm 11:13 and you missed my point. I said that she can buy the department store stuff and nobody will think she's "nouveau" unless she buys really flashy or tacky stuff. I mentioned the antiques and modern things only in case she's interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as old money in the US. Nouveau riche trying to pretend they are something they are not.

Really?? You don't consider the Rockefellars to be old money (for example)? The Vanderbilts?

This poster does represent a certain point of view. Take it for what it's worth. For example, do you know about the whole fish forks thing? If your silverware includes fish forks, this means your silver could be inherited, but it's from ancestors who made their money during the victorian era, when things like fish forks and bouillon spoons started to be added to silverware. In other words, your family's money comes from the victorian era, so it's not truly "old" to some peoples' minds. This is why you get the occasional movie where people *shudder* at fish forks. I kid you not.

And FWIW, have you ever been to the Vanderbilt place in Asheville, NC? It pretty much screams "look at my money!"

[Anonymous]

Old money is often confused with "coming over on the Mayflower" here. It is terribly inaccurate. Not to say that some who came over on the Mayflower had money, but I strongly doubt it, based on history.

Old money is "spirit", knowing how to act. Not announcing (OP) where you acquired the money. Certainly not asking where someone else acquired there money! I have heard people try to ask, it is quite amusing how very nosey some people can be. Nosey is without exception, not old money. It is all about conscientious manners (including but not limited to NOT gossiping or being nosy about others), low key taste, and knowing when to shut your mouth! Simple.

[Anonymous]

23:59 had the best post of the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23:59 had the best post of the thread.

Actually, she doesn't understand what people mean by "old money." As another poster pointed out, it's a mindset, not really a club. You won't be excluded as long as you show taste and restraint. Nobody will look down on OP because she has "new money" unless she installs pissing cherubs on the front lawn of her tacky house (or keeps talking about how she earned her money and how much, but I assume that's because she's anonymous and she wouldn't do that IRL).

But 23:59 was right about avoiding the pissing cherubs, and the main thing is to have confidence in yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am reading the CCC thread and there are several derogatory mentions of people with new money. What is the deal with that??? To me, it's far more impressive if someone came from nothing and worked their way up than if they inherited mummy or daddy (or grandmother or grandfather's) millions. DH and I moved here six months ago from LA; we founded two software companies, one of which is publicly traded. When I was a kid, my family was on food stamps. DH is not college-educated. We've been very open about how our wealth is self-made because we are PROUD of it. Our kids go private and it freaks me out to think that our neighbors and the parents of their peers are talking shit about us behind our backs and judging us or excluding my kids because we're "nouvies."

Is it a taste level thing? Like the old stereotype of new money, with fountains and statues in the yard of your tacky mansion? Or is it something else? DO people really place that much of a premium on "good breeding" around here?

Yes, this is it. It's not a "club" of "well-bred" people like one PP said, unless you live in Beacon Hill (and even that's going away). And it's certainly not "breeding" in the sense of trying to work your Mayflower ancestors into a conversation (and as another PP pointed out, they probably had no money anyway).

Society has changed: we no longer have a society where "old money" means the same as being "well bred" and they both mean you go to boarding school and then to Yale. Most people in your private school probably have relatively "new" money.

So even though the distinction is drawn between "old" and "new" money, it's really a question of taste/mindset. It's how you display your wealth.

[Anonymous]

OP I agree with the posters that there really is little in the way of old money in the US. One generation makes it, the next generations spends it all. Even in Europe, taxes make it hard to keep money. There is however a class of well educated people that can brag about three generations of PhDs and a Fields Medal or two. However, the money slides away.
I have dated men whose families were wealth. There was a spooky feeling that the more these men (subtly) talked about their fathers' money, the more emasculating it was to me. I felt like I was dating someones little boy. So, it was a bit of a turn off.

[Anonymous]

Old money just means you didn't earn it yourself. Period. It is no wonder why so many "old money" are neurotic and insecure. They realize that in a city like DC (where intelligence and ambition are the engines of success) they don't measure up. Old money is desperately afraid of being revealed for what it is -- a sham. So, new money, congratulations for doing what the ANCESTORS of old money did years ago. You have achieved your own success. Now go out and enjoy it and let the little old bitties at CCC and St. Albans eat their hearts out.

[Anonymous]

I think the thing that I find obnoxious about *some* people with "new money" is how they take the attitude that their success is entirely due to their own hard work and effort. Any advantages that they started out with or help they received along the way are somehow discounted and anyone who isn't similarly successful must just be lazy because "if I did it why can't they?". Did you take out a small business loan? How about a student loan? Did you have a family that raised you with the right kind of values? How about the natural intelligence you inherited from good old mom and dad? How much of your success was due to luck at being in the right place at the right time (not unlike people who bought houses in the pre-boom era)? And having a natural interest/talent in a field that happens to be hot? If any of the above are true then you had help and certain advantages that many, many people don't have. That's not to say you didn't work hard but be modest and recognize that that wasn't the only factor in your success.

OP, this isn't directed at you. I'm just commenting on one of the aspects of "new money" that I think many people find irritating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old money just means you didn't earn it yourself. Period. It is no wonder why so many "old money" are neurotic and insecure. They realize that in a city like DC (where intelligence and ambition are the engines of success) they don't measure up. Old money is desperately afraid of being revealed for what it is -- a sham. So, new money, congratulations for doing what the ANCESTORS of old money did years ago. You have achieved your own success. Now go out and enjoy it and let the little old bitties at CCC and St. Albans eat their hearts out.

It's "old biddies." And it sounds a bit like OP is eating her own heart out over what she imagines people think about her. We're trying to reassure her - I'm not sure what your point is.

You're right, though, that "old money" these days just means you inherited your wealth - it could be from daddy who sold cars in the 1970s, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the idea that there's some "club" of "well bred" people that OP will never be accepted into is just plain wrong.

[Anonymous]

Does "old money" look down on Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and new internet billionaires? Are the latter folks excluded from exclusive country clubs or similar places for the wealthy? Has England still denied Dodi Al Fayed's father British citizenship despite having owned Harrods and living there for a long time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does "old money" look down on Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and new internet billionaires? Are the latter folks excluded from exclusive country clubs or similar places for the wealthy? Has England still denied Dodi Al Fayed's father British citizenship despite having owned Harrods and living there for a long time?

In response to your questions, No, Bill Gates could get in to any country club he wants. And Yes, Al Fayed has been denied citizenship - but there were some corruption issues, a few decades ago.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I have respect for people like OP who actually worked hard and likely created jobs. I have zero respect for hedge fund clowns. As for old money, by the time you get to the third or fourth generation of inherited wealth, you generally aren't left with the sharpest tools in the shed.

[Anonymous]

I have to use an example, as much as I hate to: the Kennedys. Fine, their following generations were not perfect, but they were not exactly "do nothings" (PP).

It has NOTHING to do with schools, which is where most people in the D.C. area "don't get it" the most. I say that because there are many who are obsessed with "what school", when in fact, if the parents were not that bright, then guess what?

Drop the "what school" obsession, concentrate first on being a good person (simply not screwing others, whether or not you admit it), and the rest will follow. I know first hand.

Its the "what can I get away with" (the gimmes) attitude that gets people into trouble and stops them from going forward, but many are too stupid to know that.