Agreed to a move for DH’s promotion with one condition. Now that condition is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the midnight shift during the week or on the weekend?

How often?

It’s every working day.

You said it's a rotation. How long is the rotation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the rotation like? A few days a month? Every other week? How old are the kids? It's impossible to give any advice without details.

At least with the meaningful raise you can hire to help you on the late nights.

He works M-F, except the week he will work the weekends, that week he works F-Su, plus two weekdays that alternate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't sound like something he can necessarily control. It was a weird condition to put in place if it's not something he gets to decide.

This is true, but he assured me before he signed on and we moved, that it wouldn’t be the case. He all but promised.

[Anonymous]

Become a sahm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the hours 3 to midnight 5 days a week for the foreseeable future?
Is there a salary premium for that shift?
Is this temp and in 3 months it will shift back to 9-5?
When he is working 1 weekend a month does he have off 2 days before or after that?
Without knowing the details, it is hard to recommend.

It’s 5 days a week, for the foreseeable future. I posted the schedule upthread.

[Anonymous]

Maybe his job promised and reneged. Can you throw money at your biggest challenges? Such as more carry out, having groceries delivered, cleaning help, outsourcing laundry, tutor if you have to help with homework?

Yes, it sucks that it isn’t working out the way you want. I’m sure your dh isn’t thrilled to work that shift either.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are old enough that this shouldn’t be a big deal. I did it when my kids were little and in elementary. Your kids can help so much. Teach them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are old enough that this shouldn’t be a big deal. I did it when my kids were little and in elementary. Your kids can help so much. Teach them.

This. I have kids that age. They make their own dinner most nights and can get their homework done. The 6th grader needs more supervision but the high schooler is completely independent. The only sticking point would be conflicting schedules and needing to be in more than one place at a time but carpools can fix that.

[Anonymous]

You sound entitled and unreasonable. Your DH is at a new job and is WORKING, not goofing off. With the new promotion, hire someone to help you if it's so difficult. Creating more stress for your DH really isn't a good idea. It's called problem solving OP- try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the midnight shift during the week or on the weekend?

How often?

It’s every working day.

Does that mean M-F? Three days a week at 12 hours? Why are you willfully being obstructive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You sound entitled and unreasonable. Your DH is at a new job and is WORKING, not goofing off. With the new promotion, hire someone to help you if it's so difficult. Creating more stress for your DH really isn't a good idea. It's called problem solving OP- try it.

I mean, I get. I would be incredibly annoyed with this schedule. Not because of childcare stuff but because I like having DH around. I think OP is being a tad ridiculous given the ages of her kids.

[Anonymous]

Instacart and Amazon Prime. Delivery meals. DH does A LOT on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

DH, presumably will have time during the day after he gets up. He can do things around the house or prep dinner for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't sound like something he can necessarily control. It was a weird condition to put in place if it's not something he gets to decide.

This is true, but he assured me before he signed on and we moved, that it wouldn’t be the case. He all but promised.

He didn’t know either. Do you think he was lying?

[Anonymous]

OP can you say more about your H’s work? Is it medical? I’m a single parent and ER doc and I have a FT nanny. I make no assumptions about your budget but if things have changed for your husband’s work schedule, they’ve changed for you too. You’re going to need evening help. But honestly the most important question is how much he understands that this is a deviation from your family plan. He may have no control over it, but how seriously he takes the effect it will have on you says a lot to me about how this is going to go.