Hosting Wife's College Friend's Daughter

[Anonymous]

It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

Lucky for you but I don't think your post is helpful.

[Anonymous]

I have a handful of close friends and would let them stay for sure. Dynamics of kid with my kids would be the key here.

I hosted my cousin’s daughter for a month and it was a total pain. Girl was an ingrate and didn’t really get along with my kids. I had to drive her around.

If she was using your house for just the room, it seems no big deal. But to feed her too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

Such a typically DCUM nasty hiding behind the keyboard response. People don't act like this in real life, thank God.

Seriously. I can think of at least a dozen close friends of either mine or my spouse whose kids I'd be happy to host, and who I'd feel comfortable asking to host one of our kids.

There are plenty of reasons why it might not work, and everyone would be OK with that. But "my home is not a hotel . . . it isn't my problem" would never, ever enter the equation.

Do you people *have* any close friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

Are you seriously calling that person rich for offering a room?

Some people are less picky. We live in a large house and have multiple extra bedrooms. I would not want an extra person in the house unless we were already close.

A week? Sure. Whole summer? No way.

[Anonymous]

We lived in NYC and had a revolving door of my parents’ friends’ recent graduate children stay with us, not to mention friends of mine and my siblings.

What’s wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

Are you seriously calling that person rich for offering a room?

Some people are less picky. We live in a large house and have multiple extra bedrooms. I would not want an extra person in the house unless we were already close.

A week? Sure. Whole summer? No way.

Yes, they are rich if they can take on the care of an adult for three months for free. Are you really this stupid?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I’d make a list of rules and expectations and ask them to sign. If they violate a rule, decide now what the consequences would be. Stick to it. It is a shame there’s no compensation.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s nice if you want to do it but you don’t and that is absolutely fine. You would lose use of the space for 3 months which is a long time. On the otherhand, a week would be no big deal. If my college student were “invited” to stay then I would offer compensation in the form of rent or a trade (if I had a vacation home which I don’t). I would not ask this of a friend to begin with though I might ask for advice on where to look for a rental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We lived in NYC and had a revolving door of my parents’ friends’ recent graduate children stay with us, not to mention friends of mine and my siblings.

What’s wrong with you people?

You put up people for three months at a time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

Financial constraints are absolutely a valid reason to decline.

OP, however, didn't mention any of them. He just said, "I don't want the inconvenience." That is mind boggling to me, when discussing a close friend's kid.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine asking my best friend from college for my kid to stay there and having her ask me for rent, or offering to pay rent. That is just so tacky as an adult. If it’s her best friend, I think it’s weird that you don’t want to host her to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We lived in NYC and had a revolving door of my parents’ friends’ recent graduate children stay with us, not to mention friends of mine and my siblings.

What’s wrong with you people?

For an entire summer? I’m with OP. It’s a lot to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine asking my best friend from college for my kid to stay there and having her ask me for rent, or offering to pay rent. That is just so tacky as an adult. If it’s her best friend, I think it’s weird that you don’t want to host her to be honest.

In a similar situation, I would offer to pay expenses - not rent, but food, etc. And all of my friends would (i) be happy to hose, and (ii) turn down any compensation.