Pregnant mom of four, not liking my husband

[Anonymous]

😩 you’re a little too late for a change of heart

[Anonymous]

A new baby coming is a great reason to work on your relationship together. Your DH will need to step up, please get a therapist so you can talk through it.

[Anonymous]

Counseling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

You clearly liked him enough to get pregnant again. Talk to him.

[Anonymous]

If you have five kids and you both work, you are rich, yes? I mean, our HHI is $500K and I didn't feel like we could comfortably have more than two kids so I'm assuming yours must be really high. In that case, hire a ton of help to pick up the slack where your husband doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have five kids and you both work, you are rich, yes? I mean, our HHI is $500K and I didn't feel like we could comfortably have more than two kids so I'm assuming yours must be really high. In that case, hire a ton of help to pick up the slack where your husband doesn't.

I wonder this too. Five kids is a LOT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

I'm asking this seriously - have you ever been in therapy? I find it very odd that you have no friends and must be, what, at least 40? Were you homeschooled? If not, I assume you had friends in high school, in college (did you go to college?), in grad school, parents of your kids' friends, etc. How do you have no friends?! And you think your husband is your soul mate? That's a really childish thing to say. I adore my husband and I can't even fathom life without him and I would do anything to fight for my marriage but I don't think he's my soul mate. I think if I had lived in ID instead of VA I'd have met and married someone else. You sound very immature, I guess is what I'm getting it, which is a bit scary since you have five children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your question OP? What kind of comments are you looking for?

Just looking for reassurance. I would never leave him, don’t think I could be alone.

Is that why you keep having kids? Again, therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have five kids and you both work, you are rich, yes? I mean, our HHI is $500K and I didn't feel like we could comfortably have more than two kids so I'm assuming yours must be really high. In that case, hire a ton of help to pick up the slack where your husband doesn't.

Or they could be religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are in a tough position. I have 3 kids with someone I love. Having 5 kids is a terrible idea, in any situation. You and your DH have messed up in this department.

If you had 1 or 2 kids, to the extent you have real marital problems, I'd say divorce. But 5? You're screwed whatever you do.


Do not have a 6th.

+1. Planned c-section with a tubal ligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

Lol

DCUM is so lame

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

I'm asking this seriously - have you ever been in therapy? I find it very odd that you have no friends and must be, what, at least 40? Were you homeschooled? If not, I assume you had friends in high school, in college (did you go to college?), in grad school, parents of your kids' friends, etc. How do you have no friends?! And you think your husband is your soul mate? That's a really childish thing to say. I adore my husband and I can't even fathom life without him and I would do anything to fight for my marriage but I don't think he's my soul mate. I think if I had lived in ID instead of VA I'd have met and married someone else. You sound very immature, I guess is what I'm getting it, which is a bit scary since you have five children.

+1

No friends? I'd get sick of my h too.

[Anonymous]

How would OP have time for friends with 4+ kids? I barely have any with 2 because I don’t like most people and I’m an introvert. I’m the primary caregiver so generally can’t meet up for dinners/drinks or on the weekend because that’s family time. It’s hard. OP’s DH is probably feeling the weight of having such a large family. It’s hard AF if you’re doing it right. He may need his own friends and alone time to be easier to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pregnancy is rough and feelings are amplified. This is a phase and will pass! I’d kindly encourage you to reconnect with friends - I suspect some frustration is from expecting your husband to fill some emotional needs that are really best met by girlfriends.

You also need to have married friends in particular so you can see that everyone's husbands are mostly mediocre and unpleasant.

😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your question OP? What kind of comments are you looking for?

Just looking for reassurance. I would never leave him, don’t think I could be alone.

This was me 3.5 years ago. Surprise 5th. To small house.wFH spouse. Special needs child. We ended up moving to a new state. A lot of the anger was inertia lingering from the Covid years. But I had major ppd. Zero family support lots of tears angrily screaming “I never wanted five kids! I can’t do this!” Yea. No sugar coating it. 5 kids is very hard. My husband actually is a fantastic father though. It was just so much stress.