Pregnant mom of four, not liking my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

You clearly liked him enough to get pregnant again. Talk to him.

Thats so funny you say that because in the Relationship section its very clear that even if a woman doesnt like her husband she should still be putting out because thats what marriage is and if she isnt then he has a right to cheat/divorce.

Its apparently called "withholding" if you dont have sex with your spouse, even if you dont like them.

OP stop having more kids. That's #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been together for 15 years and have four kids (11, 9, 7, and 3) and I’m currently pregnant with a surprise fifth. I still work full time and life is busy and exhausting.

Over the years he’s become really hard to be around — almost like another child. I manage his life on top of everything else, and it’s wearing me down. Deep down I still believe he’s my soulmate, which makes the disconnect confusing and painful.

My kids give me a distraction and keep me going. I’ve talk my mom, she’s the only person I have, but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else, and I don’t really have friends, so I just needed somewhere anonymous to vent.

Having several young children, two jobs, a house and bills etc can make any couple dislike each other. What could we suggest, go back in time and get tubal ligation or vasectomy? In current situation all you two can do is to attend family counseling to learn how to work as a team to handle the family life you two created together. Alternative is becoming a single mom of five. I'm not trying to be mean, just giving it straight to help you understand your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How was it a surprise?

This^. After four, there shouldn't be a room for a surprise. Get baby making parts tied and snipped in both mommy and daddy.

[Anonymous]

If you don't like talking to other humans including therapists then write your problems in a journal and ask AI for tips to make logistics better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Or they could be religious.

Islam is considered toughest religion but not a single man or woman in my family or friends would sign up for five children, no matter where they sit on religiosity spectrum. Education and economy are stricter teachers than religion. I can't imagine why any one following easier religions would agree to it, unless more orthodox or conservative beyond normal realm.

[Anonymous]

Oh boy, get help- lots. more childcare, household, outsourcing, etc. You're just stressed out- and would be with any husband.

Preserve your sanity and marriage at all costs. Throw money at it. Because EVERYTHING is cheaper than a divorce. And then get tubes tied or a vasectomy.

- severely struggling now divorced FT working mom of 4, whose husband became overwhelmed and bolted. Single motherhood sucks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Or they could be religious.

Islam is considered toughest religion but not a single man or woman in my family or friends would sign up for five children, no matter where they sit on religiosity spectrum. Education and economy are stricter teachers than religion. I can't imagine why any one following easier religions would agree to it, unless more orthodox or conservative beyond normal realm.

Catholics or Duggar-types.

[Anonymous]

Please get your tubes tied OP, or get him to have a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

OP here.. thanks a lot for the kind words, encouragement.

We were done and four kids was our goal, but we did slip up. We have all the household help, money, or whatever else, so that isn’t the issue, I’m just annoying by him and his lack of ability to help himself, or I don’t know maybe it is pregnancy hormones.

[Anonymous]

Hi! Im your friend from SC! I have 4 kids similar ages and would love a 5th, have been considering it! I also cannot stand my husband at least half of the time. I sadly think it’s normal!

Hang in there and make sure to take good care of yourself. For us, we put the kids and husband before ourselves and get beaten down. For our husbands, they typically come first before wives and kids in their minds.

Unsure why, but this is how it seems. Marriage sucks but kids are great! Good luck girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please get your tubes tied OP, or get him to have a vasectomy.

In the meantime, y’all need to stop f*ckin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A new baby coming is a great reason to work on your relationship together. Your DH will need to step up, please get a therapist so you can talk through it.

Great advice, thanks, babe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.. thanks a lot for the kind words, encouragement.

We were done and four kids was our goal, but we did slip up. We have all the household help, money, or whatever else, so that isn’t the issue, I’m just annoying by him and his lack of ability to help himself, or I don’t know maybe it is pregnancy hormones.

If he isn't supportive, have a calm and rational discussion and voice your needs. General annoyance isn't going to communicate how you are feeling. Do more self care and don't try to keep life perfect for everyone, as long as everyone feels lived and essential needs are being met, its all good.

[Anonymous]

*feels loved

[Anonymous]

If husband isn't as supportive as you want, you shouldn't have second kid, let alone 5th.