"Normal" reaction to loss of parent, what is typical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate using the word normal so maybe typical is better what is a typical emotional response to the loss of a parent? My spouse lost their dad and they cried and were upset a few day but then went back to normal. Like it didn't happen. Would you say that's a typical emotional response? Or are they not dealing with it?

You are so weird, cold and immature. Are you on the spectrum? Basing it on your post above. Very abnormal post. Says a lot about you and your marriage. Tsk, tsk!

[Anonymous]

My dad passed away after a rough couple of months. It went from everything was fine to dealing with hospitalizations and finding assisted living/memory care for him over night. It was months of emergency calls and hospital stays. Then he passed and I was thrown into settling his estate. I don't think I ever got to stop and grieve. The world kept spinning and there was so much to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s how your husband grieves.

For some, going "back to normal" = postponing grief. You don't know OP's DH. Speculation is unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Op, it sounds fine. Many of us know our parents loved us, and it was their hope that we would be strong and carry-on. Life is for the living, is what my now-deceased lovely parents would say.

[Anonymous]

My husband didn’t even cry, OP. He was very sad. He had tears in his eyes at the funeral of his little brother. But he’s not the sort to full-on cry. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss him.

[Anonymous]

Normal for him. We are all different.
I won't cry. Normal for me, because I know it's coming, they live abroad, and they did it to themselves by drinking and smoking for 55+ years. Lots of domestic violence also.
More like relief for me as I don't have to confront them about my shitty childhood.
I have family who all cried when their brother died, but they were cheerful 3 hour later. They all put things in the boxes. Out of sight, out of mind.
For me, close death is on the mind for weeks. I don't go from crying to laughing. I don't care for opposite sides or extremes.

[Anonymous]

Grief isn't normal or typical. It's a constant cycle. Hugs

[Anonymous]

Was the death a shock? A gruesome end? If the person was of an age where death is not unusual, most people have prepared themselves. Prepared emotionally. It does not mean unfeeling. They likely think of their parent every day. They are grateful and have loving feelings.

[Anonymous]

Grateful for the love and life their parent provided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he had been very sick for a while, I think it's normal. We expect our parents to die. If they've been sick or are very old, it's sometimes a relief and we've done our grieving slowly over the years. If you lost your kid and he was like this, I'd be concerned.

+1

My husband was devastated when his parent received a terminal diagnosis and extremely stressed throughout the period of their illness. He has outwardly seemed pretty “normal” since their death, though I know he feels sad and misses them.

+2. DP. My husband experienced this when his parent received a terminal diagnosis and throughout the illness. And more “normal” after.

When my mom died I was in shock for months after. We also had a tough relationship so her passing was very very complicated to say the least. I didn’t (and still don’t) related to all the things people said to me about grief or a parent passing.

[Anonymous]

I think it's more abnormal when an old (like 85+) person dies of natural causes and their child acts like it is the shock of the century. Did you think they would live to be 100+?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get ready for the displaced anger, acting out by drinking more, ramped up porn addiction, and other ways in which men express grief because they're too weak to face sadness.

Whatever you're thinking, it isn't healthy. Your parents dying in old age shouldn't be emotionally traumatizing.

The way men deal with grief is invariably unhealthy.

There shouldn't be much grief to deal with when y9ut parents die. Surely you're not expecting them to live forever. You knew they were/are very likely to die in your lifetime, possibily with some warning when you get to the final years.

Why would you wait to accept death until after it happens? That seems invariably unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the
Person
Culture
Age
Suddenly or slowly
…

[Anonymous]

This feels pretty typical to me, but there is no “normal”. I remember when I was 14 and my aunt died—I cried nonstop for a week, couldn’t go to school, and still felt pretty normal after—but losing an aunt is different from losing a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more abnormal when an old (like 85+) person dies of natural causes and their child acts like it is the shock of the century. Did you think they would live to be 100+?

Exactly. You should be be prepared for your parents' deaths by the time they're 60. A heart attack could come along and take them away in an instant.

Why do so many people have such unnatural and unhealthy attitudes towards death?