DH wants to pay for his older sister’s intervention and inpatient rehab

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume she is married? Medicaid pays for some rehab treatment. The success rates of rehab programs is very low unfortunately.

No, why would you assume that? Yes, I know, hence why I don’t want to go into personal debt for it.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. That’s a lot of money and rehab doesn’t always work.
I’d insist husband at least get some agreement from his mother to share the costs.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to be as harsh as other commenters without knowing your finances. I think you need to let go of your resentment. She got a settlement because she was in an accident. That money is meant to cover her for not being able to work full-time. You make it sounds insidious by saying "We suspect she has been paying for her lifestyle from an accident settlement a while ago." It's meant for her to live off, which she has been doing, while also working part-time. If it's an opioid addiction then it's probably from the pain, she's not out partying.

You have some reasonable points. DH definitely shouldn't commit to rehab without knowing the costs, and it's fair to discuss how to pay for this and the long term plans and if his mom has any savings to contribute, perhaps out of sister's share of the inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have multiple addicts in my family and no, we do not pay for the rehab.

Addiction is different than cancer, where everybody needs to help out.

An addict needs to take responsibility for themselves to recover. Saving them only enables them.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

The people I know who suffer(ed) from opiod addiction became addicted after being prescribed it for severe pain through no fault of their own. You clearly have no idea how difficult it is to recover from this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to be as harsh as other commenters without knowing your finances. I think you need to let go of your resentment. She got a settlement because she was in an accident. That money is meant to cover her for not being able to work full-time. You make it sounds insidious by saying "We suspect she has been paying for her lifestyle from an accident settlement a while ago." It's meant for her to live off, which she has been doing, while also working part-time. If it's an opioid addiction then it's probably from the pain, she's not out partying.

You have some reasonable points. DH definitely shouldn't commit to rehab without knowing the costs, and it's fair to discuss how to pay for this and the long term plans and if his mom has any savings to contribute, perhaps out of sister's share of the inheritance.

Incorrect. He saw her drinking and slurring and not being able to walk properly after a couple of drinks, which is why he started looking into and asking questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to be as harsh as other commenters without knowing your finances. I think you need to let go of your resentment. She got a settlement because she was in an accident. That money is meant to cover her for not being able to work full-time. You make it sounds insidious by saying "We suspect she has been paying for her lifestyle from an accident settlement a while ago." It's meant for her to live off, which she has been doing, while also working part-time. If it's an opioid addiction then it's probably from the pain, she's not out partying.

You have some reasonable points. DH definitely shouldn't commit to rehab without knowing the costs, and it's fair to discuss how to pay for this and the long term plans and if his mom has any savings to contribute, perhaps out of sister's share of the inheritance.

No, she has not been working part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people I know who suffer(ed) from opiod addiction became addicted after being prescribed it for severe pain through no fault of their own. You clearly have no idea how difficult it is to recover from this.

this is the problem with our society its always someone else fault so they just continue being crack heads. Sorry, we need some tough love and prison time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Same. You guys are headed for divorce.

And maybe that is the answer. DH may divorce DW because she hates his family. And once it is just his income contributing (after splitting assets), he might think twice about paying for his sister. It's all very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Would you go into debt?

I lost my brother to a drug overdose. I’d have done anything including gone into debt to have avoided that. And I have gone into debt to pay for my kid’s treatment.

But you clearly did not.

You don’t know that. All you know is that he died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know who suffer(ed) from opiod addiction became addicted after being prescribed it for severe pain through no fault of their own. You clearly have no idea how difficult it is to recover from this.

this is the problem with our society its always someone else fault so they just continue being crack heads. Sorry, we need some tough love and prison time.

An addict from an accident is totally different than a crack head.

[Anonymous]

If you don't have the money to help, then you can't help. It's ok to not be able to pay for rehab for her. Does she even want to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are the WORST kind a person. A total POS. If his sister wants help for the love of g-d help her!

We can not afford it.

$6k-50k is quite a range.

[Anonymous]

My BIL is also an addict. His parents have spent tons of $$ on rehab. The result has been the same. 50 year old addict living in parents home with an occasional job and stealing where he can. Parents are quite elderly so something will have to change. DH will not spend our kids inheritance on BIL. Siblings plan to facilitate low income housing. He is already on Medicaid and food stamps.

Maybe agree to one round of rehab ? It does work for some

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. That’s a lot of money and rehab doesn’t always work.
I’d insist husband at least get some agreement from his mother to share the costs.

Right $10k just for the intervention. And he hasn’t even done any research into how much rehab actually costs. Or tried to get agreement from his mother who has plenty of savings to pay. Meanwhile we are killing ourselves working just to be able to pay our own bills. We can’t take on the financial responsibility of another adult.