DH wants to pay for his older sister’s intervention and inpatient rehab

[Anonymous]

His older sister is in mid-50’s and he suspects opioid addiction. She does not work and has never worked full-time as long as we’ve been married (16 years). We suspect she has been paying for her lifestyle from an accident settlement a while ago, but think the money is running out, as she has been late making her apartment payments the last few years (as evidenced by one eviction and now numerous proceedings from the apartment company against her).

He looked into doing an intervention which will cost $10k flat. But when I asked him how much the rehab would cost, he could not say. I just did a quick google search and it says anywhere from $6k-$50k out of pocket.

I’m fuming as I have literally worked since before I was 16, took out student loans, paid them off, live financially conservatively and responsibly. Meanwhile his sister has coasted, had her college tuition paid for from their parents, barely worked as long as I have known her. I agreed with him that we could help pay for her intervention, but he should at least look at the cost for rehab before committing to anything. Also their mother is living, retired (also never worked a day in her life), lives in a nice paid off condo, drives a Mercedes. I asked DH about her contribution to paying for her daughter and he seems to not want to broach it with her.

I’ve always known his sister would someday be an issue, but wasn’t expecting this sort of financial burden. Originally I was thinking DH and I could just split our finances, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want to be in a marriage with separate finances, and this is a deal-breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Would you want your son to help his sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you want your son to help his sister?

No, I would not want him to be burdened by someone else’s poor decision-making.

[Anonymous]

You are the WORST kind a person. A total POS. If his sister wants help for the love of g-d help her!

[Anonymous]

She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Would you go into debt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the WORST kind a person. A total POS. If his sister wants help for the love of g-d help her!

We can not afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Same. You guys are headed for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Would you go into debt?

I lost my brother to a drug overdose. I’d have done anything including gone into debt to have avoided that. And I have gone into debt to pay for my kid’s treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Would you go into debt?

I lost my brother to a drug overdose. I’d have done anything including gone into debt to have avoided that. And I have gone into debt to pay for my kid’s treatment.

But you clearly did not.

[Anonymous]

I have multiple addicts in my family and no, we do not pay for the rehab.

Addiction is different than cancer, where everybody needs to help out.

An addict needs to take responsibility for themselves to recover. Saving them only enables them.

[Anonymous]

I assume she is married? Medicaid pays for some rehab treatment. The success rates of rehab programs is very low unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Also there will be insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not be capable of working. You say she was in an accident with a significant settlement and that it occurred awhile ago. Significant sums are not given for minor non disabling accidents. To also say she’s addicted to opioids. Add to that, she’s been out of the workforce for awhile.

Not sure what you’re looking for here other than to complain. But honestly if my sibling would benefit from an intervention and rehab I’d do what I could to pay for it. It’s better than a dead sibling. But you’re not the sibling and you clearly despise your SIL.

Would you go into debt?

I lost my brother to a drug overdose. I’d have done anything including gone into debt to have avoided that. And I have gone into debt to pay for my kid’s treatment.

Right. YOUR kid. Not someone else’s kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also there will be insurance.

She does not work, thus does not have insurance.