DH continues his infidelity - Stuck and not sure what to do

[Anonymous]

You need therapy for yourself. You are allowing your baggage from childhood to cloud your judgement. Divorced parents does not automatically mean a miserable childhood. Growing up with parents who don’t respect each other can be much more damaging.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the options are either divorce or stay together and have a de facto open marriage. Is he ok with you sleeping with other people?

[Anonymous]

You can "quiet quit" the marriage. Live together,but sleep in different bedrooms, date other people, etc. I only mention it since it seems like you are not interseted in divorce.

[Anonymous]

You're not "stuck". But you are teaching your daughter how to be a doormat--do you want her future marriage to be modeled on the one she's seeing now?
You know how NOT to be a bad divorced parent. You need to stop this

[Anonymous]

Divorce. Your DD will eventually realize you are in a shitty marriage. Do you want to model that for her? Stay cordial (very hard, I know) with your co-parent. Don’t make the divorce acrimonious. Leave out the blame. Just approach it like “you are obviously unhappy or unfulfilled, and I are unhappy; life is too short, let’s separate but let’s keep DD’s best interests at the forefront and coparent amiably.”

Do not stay in a bad marriage, for your own sake and for your DD’s sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After the first time, around a year and a half ago, I forgave him. We did couples counseling, but he cheated again, and again. It started with texting, he would lie. I kind of buried my head in the sand until I found out he was sleeping with his AP for almost three months. He did acknowledge what he did and apologize, we did counseling, and made some changes, and I thought that was the end of it.

We have a 6 year old DD together which is the reason why I didn’t want to jump to divorce, but now I’m really stuck and feel like I am out of options. I’m also afraid of the entire divorce process, what his reaction might be, and co-parenting with him. My parents were divorced and that caused me to have a miserable childhood so I don’t want my daughter to grow up with divorced parents which is why I choose to stay, but I have tried everything, and I’m tired of the lying, and betrayal.

I know my little girl would be so devastated if we got divorced and all I want is the best for her and our future.

I’d really appreciate any advice or hope from others who were in a similar situation.

I don’t understand what you mean by you don’t know what to do. Of course you divorce. The only thing worse than a child with a divorced couple is one of a strained couple modeling dysfunction.

So get divorced, he gets 50% custody. And you get some new dick. If will all work out.

Plus, 6 is hardly old enough for real trauma.

[Anonymous]

How many other kids do you think he has fathered with other women?

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many other kids do you think he has fathered with other women?

This.

[Anonymous]

The whole " i don't want my kid to grow up with divorced parents" is such a bad excuse. So you would rather your kid know what a crappy marriage you've had and what a terrible spouse is? Along with setting an example of what kind of relationship she should settle for? Makes total sense. You are not stuck, you choose to be stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You 100% have to divorce this guy, and I don’t say that lightly. He is jeopardizing your mental and physical health and you don’t deserve that (and neither does your kid). You are better off doing this while your kid is young in these circumstances.

And your parents divorce doesn’t have to be your divorce.

This. Op you sound like an abused spouse get away from this narcissist.

[Anonymous]

So he is running the show while you get sit like a bump on a log? No, he is ruining your self-esteem and mental health.

Now is a great time to divorce while you're still young. You will get 50/50 custody and time to work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

You spelled STBX wrong.


Bad marriage is worse for kids than good divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole " i don't want my kid to grow up with divorced parents" is such a bad excuse. So you would rather your kid know what a crappy marriage you've had and what a terrible spouse is? Along with setting an example of what kind of relationship she should settle for? Makes total sense. You are not stuck, you choose to be stuck.

When children have crummy fathers, they are going to be devastated one way or another. Divorcing can minimize some of what they see.

[Anonymous]

Love & marital relationships are based on trust & respect. The only thing that you can trust your spouse to do is to cheat on you. Is this something that you respect ?

Get out now or expect misery and a VD.