Is it normal to get no matches on apps (man)?

[Anonymous]

This is what I did when I was ready to settle down: started looking for someone like it was my job. He needs to be doing multiple things at once—OLD, group outings, asking friends to introduce him to people etc…attack the issue on multiple fronts. Good luck to your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter if it's OLD or real life, if he's shy and introverted he's going to struggle.

I've dated shy, introverted men who I genuinely liked but it was always a MASSIVE struggle. They were too afraid to ask me out, couldn't plan a date, couldn't go out for very long because it was too exhausted, conversations were like pulling teeth, etc. I felt bad because they were genuinely great guys, but I don't want to do all the heavy lifting in a relationship.

The best thing would be for him to get a coach to help him learn some social skills and get over his shyness. Everything else is just a waste until he does that.

Pleeez, not everyone is a party animal and introvert <> lack of social skills. If he is indeed introverted, he wouldn’t be happy long term with a social butterfly anyway. OP, make sure his expectations are realistic and he shows some initiative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't matter if it's OLD or real life, if he's shy and introverted he's going to struggle.

I've dated shy, introverted men who I genuinely liked but it was always a MASSIVE struggle. They were too afraid to ask me out, couldn't plan a date, couldn't go out for very long because it was too exhausted, conversations were like pulling teeth, etc. I felt bad because they were genuinely great guys, but I don't want to do all the heavy lifting in a relationship.

The best thing would be for him to get a coach to help him learn some social skills and get over his shyness. Everything else is just a waste until he does that.

Pleeez, not everyone is a party animal and introvert <> lack of social skills. If he is indeed introverted, he wouldn’t be happy long term with a social butterfly anyway. OP, make sure his expectations are realistic and he shows some initiative.

OP needs to ask herself if he lacks social skills. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.

It's not about being extroverted or a party animal. It's about being man enough to take a few social risks, and doing a fair share of the work to plan activities and carry a conversation. Women don't want to have to do all of this singlehandedly. They want a partner and some give and take.

[Anonymous]

Women his age are getting bombarded with requsts on the apps, from men ages 20-60. Unless your son has model good looks, he'll have little luck on there.

Instead, he should try to meet people in real life. Then his personality can shine in a way it doesn't on apps. Much better option.

I was on a business trip in a college town this spring, and a colleague and I went out and hit a few bars. It was clear women that age are eager for social interaction in person, and so a guy their age who can hold up his side of a conversation would do really well.

[Anonymous]

Is he short? That is the first bar that girls sort by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he short? That is the first bar that girls sort by.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he short? That is the first bar that girls sort by.

What is the cut off point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he short? That is the first bar that girls sort by.

What is the cut off point?

Their own height plus one inch, or 6 feet, whichever is lower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not us, this is our son who is 26. He hasn't had much luck with women and only had one previous girlfriend at 22 that lasted for a year. Our son is athletic, has a good job, pretty normal looking. But he recently made a comment to us saying he has nowhere to meet women his age in person and is forced to use dating apps which I guess is normal these days? He said he's been on a few apps and basically can't get a date from them. Is this normal? He is shy and introverted which I think makes it a lot harder for guys like him.

This is why dating in college and grad school is has its value. You can pick from a large organic pool and date for a long time to really get to know each other. Internet pool is filled with non serious and desperate people with heavy baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not us, this is our son who is 26. He hasn't had much luck with women and only had one previous girlfriend at 22 that lasted for a year. Our son is athletic, has a good job, pretty normal looking. But he recently made a comment to us saying he has nowhere to meet women his age in person and is forced to use dating apps which I guess is normal these days? He said he's been on a few apps and basically can't get a date from them. Is this normal? He is shy and introverted which I think makes it a lot harder for guys like him.

There is a reason women aren't getting good matches who are interested in commitment. They are passing on good guys and going after cheaters, narcissists and alcoholics because they talk smooth, look tall or show off money.

[Anonymous]

Alumni events

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not us, this is our son who is 26. He hasn't had much luck with women and only had one previous girlfriend at 22 that lasted for a year. Our son is athletic, has a good job, pretty normal looking. But he recently made a comment to us saying he has nowhere to meet women his age in person and is forced to use dating apps which I guess is normal these days? He said he's been on a few apps and basically can't get a date from them. Is this normal? He is shy and introverted which I think makes it a lot harder for guys like him.

This is why dating in college and grad school is has its value. You can pick from a large organic pool and date for a long time to really get to know each other. Internet pool is filled with non serious and desperate people with heavy baggage.

Your perspective is two decades old. Most relationships start online now.

https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/

https://soulmatcher.app/blog/what-percentage-of-couples-meet-online/

60% of newly married couples met online.

[Anonymous]

Same case with my colleague's kid, good looking, educated, employed, home owner and pleasant personality but can't find matches worth pursuing. He is moving back to his college town as many of his friends settled there so he'll have a larger network to connect.

[Anonymous]

How tall is he? If he’s short he’s gonna have trouble on apps. It’s not fair, but it’s true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not us, this is our son who is 26. He hasn't had much luck with women and only had one previous girlfriend at 22 that lasted for a year. Our son is athletic, has a good job, pretty normal looking. But he recently made a comment to us saying he has nowhere to meet women his age in person and is forced to use dating apps which I guess is normal these days? He said he's been on a few apps and basically can't get a date from them. Is this normal? He is shy and introverted which I think makes it a lot harder for guys like him.

There is a reason women aren't getting good matches who are interested in commitment. They are passing on good guys and going after cheaters, narcissists and alcoholics because they talk smooth, look tall or show off money.

And men aren’t getting good marked either because the ignore the average or plain women in favor of bombshells.
Problem with apps is you can only see things that won’t give you a feel for the important things that matter in a relationship, only the superficial ones.