I mean, it’s true everywhere. People with extended family close by tend not to be interested in new friendships. Part of why I like DC is it has so many young adults who didn’t grow up here. Not every weekend invitation is declined because of nephew’s birthday party/niece’s pre-prom party/uncle’s retirement party/aunt’s 75th birthday party. |
I wish I had a bigger family for my kids |
Gross op, sorry you’re lonely. |
I thought these places encouraged social events? We belong to a swim club with a super long wait and there were always events going on. But that seemed to be the point, people belonged to be social. I have not gone since my kids were old enough to be dropped off alone. They are social so we keep the membership. Yes, sometimes they bring lots of friends as guests. Now they can get there on their own and are still bringing guests.
Maybe reevaluate if these places are for you, OP. |
Well I think they’re encouraging people to be social and get to know fellow members. Someone’s BIL and 5 nephews visiting from two subdivisions over who only talks to his family undermines that. |
When my family was in a country club they had Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner and a restaurant where this was expected. The entire family didn't all play golf or swim there though. |
Holiday meals make sense. But dragging 10 cousins and great aunts and grandmas to every regular season little league game or school concert or open swim is kind of socially stunted and indeed clannish as mentioned earlier. |
Some people value family relationships, some don’t. Ask your clubs to enforce their rules but you don’t have to be so judgey. |
Social can mean being social with people your choose to bring as guests. There are no rules saying you join a club to be social only with the members. if you don't have people to bring in and also don't enjoy going to find others do, find a new place that will have people who are in your situation. Or try to get more members who also don't seem to have many family nearby to get into your current club. |
No it is not. It's just that you don't have that. They can do and go wherever they want. You do you, and they'll do them |
I actually think that bringing a bunch of non-members to a club and only hanging out with them is antisocial. That’s what entertaining at home is for. This might be a generational thing. I’m in my mid-40s and the people I see doing these big family takeovers are in their 30s. I think a lot of people never learned to make new friends or how to handle the art of acquaintance/activity friendships. There are a lot of younger people I encounter who can’t handle small talk and light conversation and basically have bffs, their family, and no one else. I live in an area where RTO has been slow and I don’t think that helps in terms of training people on how to interact with strangers and near-strangers. |
Did you read? that's why PP suggested you try to find people who don't have large family or extended family. But that may take more efforts than you are willing to put in. Sounds like you signed up for a club(s)/leagues etc..and you wanted to show up and start making friends instead you see fellow members bringing in their family and friends into the club. They may never reach out to you to form NEW friendships or acquaint-ships. If you don't like the situation, you should move or let it be. |
You’re targeting the wrong issue/party. If it doesn’t violate the rules, it’s fine. If you want different rules, you joined the wrong clubs and that’s on you. If the clubs have rules and aren’t enforcing them, your issue should be with the clubs. |
It's a you thing. This is how people socialize and you are being left behind. Times have indeed changed. |
Hmmmm. OP, are these people the same color as you? Because your vibe is just so weird. |