What are the tell-tale signs of a good guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to have sex before you marry. If you are not sexually compatible, your marriage is more likely to fail.

If you constantly disregard what the Bible says, your soul is more than likely going to end up in hell.



Besides, if people wouldn't sleep around, they really wouldn't have anything else to compare it to, now would they?

[Anonymous]

He took everything I told him and opened up about seriously and remembered. My dad was an alcoholic, the first time we went to a party together, he asked me how I would feel if he had a few drinks, and said he would refrain if it bothered me. If he does have a few drinks, and I tell him he should stop, he does.
He should always respect you.
Also, does he have family with children? My husband was WONDERFUL with his nieces so I knew early on that he was going to be a good father.
How does he act when he's frustrated or having a bad day? If he takes it out on you by yelling or whatever else, it's bad news, but if he comes home, tells you about his day, or makes the decision to leave work at work completely like my husband usually does, than you know that you will be able to enjoy the ends of your days together.

[Anonymous]

I was impressed from the get go with the relationship my DH has with his family. Very loving, respectful, they all get along well and actually enjoy each other's company. He's very kind to his mom, his siblings, everyone. He's a great friend to his friends, dropping whatever he's doing to help if someone needs it. He's very thoughtful, remembers everything, calls to see how I am, calls his Mom every day, thanks me for all I do for our DDs, listens attentively to my Dad's boring stories!!!!! He's such a gem.

[Anonymous]

"Besides, if people wouldn't sleep around, they really wouldn't have anything else to compare it to, now would they? "

Even a pencil dick?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he jokes around in a mean way, he's an asshole. These can be comments directly to you or something he says in front of others. I had an ex who used to sing the Jell-O song when I wore shorts...like my ass was jiggling like Jell-O--and I was not overweight at all. When I told him it hurt my feelings, he said he was just joking and that I shouldn't be so sensitive. That reminds me of another one: does he take your feelings seriously or does he dismiss them?

My husband is a great guy and has never said an unkind word toward me. Ever. It goes both ways. I don't say hurtful things to him either.

Facebook friends , posts, and comments. Mysterious nights with the guys. Spy on cell phone. Technology gives new insights NA 10 plus years ago. Google. Redflags are if he slips up and tells you about high hook-up numbers, arrogance about sex, drugs, etc. Brags about his high school/college days yet not on rosters. If you meet friends then watch the looks and body language. Are they skeptical?

[Anonymous]

If I'm reading correctly, 10:49 is giving some examples of ways a guy can know that a woman is no good. Facebook stalking and cell phone spying? Run, gentlemen. Run far and fast.

[Anonymous]

-- Spoke kindly of everyone in his life and saw the best in them. He's not a doormat -- just patient and kind to other people.

When we were dating I saw it in the way he treated our parents and friends, his work colleagues, and even the waitress who got our order wrong etc.

Now that we're married and parents together, this is the trait I appreciate the most. It's so simple, but it matters day to day. I would hate being married to someone who was cynical or critical of me, DC or others in our lives.

-- Didn't need to be "right" all the time. He was able to listen to another opinion and even agree with it if it made more sense than what he first thought/said.

-- Responsible . He took good care of his home, managed his money well, planned vacations, cooked decently enough. Basically he didn't need a woman to "take care of him, which is great. The way I see it, we're both able to take care of ourselves and each other, so there's lots of support all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-- Spoke kindly of everyone in his life and saw the best in them. He's not a doormat -- just patient and kind to other people.

When we were dating I saw it in the way he treated our parents and friends, his work colleagues, and even the waitress who got our order wrong etc.

Now that we're married and parents together, this is the trait I appreciate the most. It's so simple, but it matters day to day. I would hate being married to someone who was cynical or critical of me, DC or others in our lives.

-- Didn't need to be "right" all the time. He was able to listen to another opinion and even agree with it if it made more sense than what he first thought/said.

-- Responsible. He took good care of his home, managed his money well, planned vacations, cooked decently enough. Basically he didn't need a woman to "take care of him, which is great. The way I see it, we're both able to take care of ourselves and each other, so there's lots of support all around.

Let me be more specific about this one. If he often talks negatively or critically of other people -- even if he thinks he has very good reason to do so, even if it's just blowing off steam, even if it's kind of funny -- beware! He will very likely be negative and critical of you and perhaps even your children some day. To me, it's a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-- Spoke kindly of everyone in his life and saw the best in them. He's not a doormat -- just patient and kind to other people.

When we were dating I saw it in the way he treated our parents and friends, his work colleagues, and even the waitress who got our order wrong etc.

Now that we're married and parents together, this is the trait I appreciate the most. It's so simple, but it matters day to day. I would hate being married to someone who was cynical or critical of me, DC or others in our lives.

-- Didn't need to be "right" all the time. He was able to listen to another opinion and even agree with it if it made more sense than what he first thought/said.

-- Responsible . He took good care of his home, managed his money well, planned vacations, cooked decently enough. Basically he didn't need a woman to "take care of him, which is great. The way I see it, we're both able to take care of ourselves and each other, so there's lots of support all around.

I think it gets a little tricky here. Where do you draw the line between being a kind and patient person and a doormat? How do you create personal boundaries and defend them?

[Anonymous]

Good tipper.

Never parks in fire lane or worse, handicapped spot even to run into the cleaners.

Sits to use bathroom. Doesn't tinkle on seat.

Calls mom. But not too much.

Donates to charity/alma mater

Doesn't spend too much on his own clothes or care too much about his own appearance

Buys girl scout cookies

Holds door for strangers/gives up seat on metro

[Anonymous]

Whe he's scared as hell, he saddles up anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good tipper.

Never parks in fire lane or worse, handicapped spot even to run into the cleaners.

Sits to use bathroom. Doesn't tinkle on seat.

Calls mom. But not too much.

Donates to charity/alma mater

Doesn't spend too much on his own clothes or care too much about his own appearance

Buys girl scout cookies

Holds door for strangers/gives up seat on metro

I believe my husband has jumped on, in order to describe himself! (Hello, dear.)

Seriously, point for point. I've always found the sitting to pee thing especially endearing.

[Anonymous]

All good points for the OP... but of utmost importance, in my opinion, is you the OP. You have to be in a place where you can accept a good guy in your life.
I don't mean to give psycho-babble, but it is true that you can only receive love from another if you love yourself.
Don't put up with guy $hit, and keep your expectations high. Not in a snobby, difficult, pendulum (do it, no, don't do it) kind of way, but in with confidence.
The minute I learned my future was in my hands, and a man could only benefit me (not make me who I am), I found the most awesome guy. We don't take each other too seriously, and I know in my soul I will be okay if anything happens to him / us.
But to answer the OP - I caught my husband (boyfriend at the time) walking to work in the rain, so that I could use his umbrella. Good sign.

[Anonymous]

Sits to pee? Really? Why in the world?

[Anonymous]

THIS is just too weird for me.

for my 2 yo son potty training? yes

for my 40-something husband? ick

Girl Scout cookies? seriously?

Anonymous wrote:Good tipper.

Never parks in fire lane or worse, handicapped spot even to run into the cleaners.

Sits to use bathroom. Doesn't tinkle on seat.

Calls mom. But not too much.

Donates to charity/alma mater

Doesn't spend too much on his own clothes or care too much about his own appearance

Buys girl scout cookies

Holds door for strangers/gives up seat on metro