Changed my mind about wanting a pet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you actually lived with a cat? They're pretty low maintenance and I'm sure your DH could handle like 90% of the work pretty easily.

Unless you're allergic, I'm not sure why in the world you're so worried about it.

+1
They are far more low maintainence than a dog, for sure.
Keep the food and water bowls full, clean the litter box every couple days, and that's it.
How is that much upkeep?

You're in the wrong OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before getting married, I told my fiance that I would be ok with taking in his cat to our new place. At the time, I really was ok with it and didn’t mind it. I didn’t love the idea but I’ve seen how much he loves his cat so I was willing to take him in. His cat is ‘temporarily’ at his parents home and he’s just waiting for me to tell him to bring the cat to our place.

Now that we’re married and settled in, he keeps asking me when to take the cat in and I keep postponing it, however I know that I just can’t handle living full time with a cat. I know that I previously agreed to bringing the cat in and that he’ll handle most of the work related to the cat but now that I’ve thought about it, I just can’t imagine taking care of a pet.

I haven’t told him how I feel yet since I don’t know how to bring up the topic as I know that he’ll be upset about it. Any advice? And do you think I’m being unreasonable about this?

I should add that the cat is being taken care of and loved by his parents and siblings. Whenever we go visit them, he gets to play with him so that might be a good compromise instead of us taking him in full time?

Before I point out that you're a fscking monster... Why not? Are you allergic? What is your reasoning?

OP- I just can’t live with a cat. Why am I a monster for changing my mind about something? Having a pet is a huge commitment and I just can’t commit to this right now.

Because a cat isn’t like a possession. It’s a living creature with physical and emotional needs, and the discussion of its future was made during your engagement. Just like a relationship can end if you change your mind about whether you want kids, this can end it as well. You are in the wrong completely.

OP- So what is the solution? Should I sacrifice my comfort and just agree to the cat?

Yes. Yes, you sacrifice your comfort to honor your agreement.

[Anonymous]

I understand not liking cats or any pets but that is something you need to be 100% upfront on when dating. Anyone I’ve known with a pet, love their pets! You don’t get to change their mind about their feelings.

And certainly not before you have even attempted to live with the cat. If you tolerated it when you slept over when dating, you can tolerate it now ( or you lied to your partner and just said you did.)

We got a cat when first married. We had it three days and I found out I was terribly allergic. Our friends took it, and we did not get another pet ( a dog) until 2 years later.

My dh grew up with dogs and absolutely wanted one and said he’d take the lead. 20 years later, that’s exactly what he has done - but the dogs always bond me with me😀. I love them too but he does all the real work.

I don’t offer a lot of tough opinions on here but this time I think you are very much in the wrong as you had all this information about yourself and cats, and so you must have on some level kept it “ hidden” believing you’d get your way once married. Not an honest, loving way to begin marriage. If you push this, I think it will do irreparable harm to your marriage ( which may be short-lived.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before getting married, I told my fiance that I would be ok with taking in his cat to our new place. At the time, I really was ok with it and didn’t mind it. I didn’t love the idea but I’ve seen how much he loves his cat so I was willing to take him in. His cat is ‘temporarily’ at his parents home and he’s just waiting for me to tell him to bring the cat to our place.

Now that we’re married and settled in, he keeps asking me when to take the cat in and I keep postponing it, however I know that I just can’t handle living full time with a cat. I know that I previously agreed to bringing the cat in and that he’ll handle most of the work related to the cat but now that I’ve thought about it, I just can’t imagine taking care of a pet.

I haven’t told him how I feel yet since I don’t know how to bring up the topic as I know that he’ll be upset about it. Any advice? And do you think I’m being unreasonable about this?

I should add that the cat is being taken care of and loved by his parents and siblings. Whenever we go visit them, he gets to play with him so that might be a good compromise instead of us taking him in full time?

Before I point out that you're a fscking monster... Why not? Are you allergic? What is your reasoning?

OP- I just can’t live with a cat. Why am I a monster for changing my mind about something? Having a pet is a huge commitment and I just can’t commit to this right now.

But you did commit to it before marrying him. Once you got what you wanted, you bailed. You’re selfish.

[Anonymous]

Don't have children. You will be a terrible mother. You have poor character, can't be trusted. Your word means nothing and you put your own comfort before those you love the most.

[Anonymous]

When I started dating my husband he had two cats. I am not a cat person. I really do not like them. I am a dog person. Had I known he had cats when we began dating I might not have let things get as far as they did. By the time I found out, I was too far in. Long story short, we had cats for many years. I did lots of the maintenance and vet visits because those cats were living creatures that deserved to be cared for. I loathe litter boxes. My husband loved those cats and they made him happy.

I get why you don't want a cat but they are pretty low maintenance and your husband should be able to handle the small amount of work associate with a cat. You can leave them for a weekend without worrying. Having a pet shows that your husband is a compassionate and loving person.

In short, YTA. Suck it up and let your husband bring the cat home.

[Anonymous]

Cats are easy - they are independent. What kind of work are you anticipating? And your husband’s family members did not agree to adopt the cat, did they? It was meant to be temporary - they will be pissed too. If sf auntie this cat ends up at a shelter, then yes - you are a monster. But as of now, you are just a selfish liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before getting married, I told my fiance that I would be ok with taking in his cat to our new place. At the time, I really was ok with it and didn’t mind it. I didn’t love the idea but I’ve seen how much he loves his cat so I was willing to take him in. His cat is ‘temporarily’ at his parents home and he’s just waiting for me to tell him to bring the cat to our place.

Now that we’re married and settled in, he keeps asking me when to take the cat in and I keep postponing it, however I know that I just can’t handle living full time with a cat. I know that I previously agreed to bringing the cat in and that he’ll handle most of the work related to the cat but now that I’ve thought about it, I just can’t imagine taking care of a pet.

I haven’t told him how I feel yet since I don’t know how to bring up the topic as I know that he’ll be upset about it. Any advice? And do you think I’m being unreasonable about this?

I should add that the cat is being taken care of and loved by his parents and siblings. Whenever we go visit them, he gets to play with him so that might be a good compromise instead of us taking him in full time?

Before I point out that you're a fscking monster... Why not? Are you allergic? What is your reasoning?

OP- I just can’t live with a cat. Why am I a monster for changing my mind about something? Having a pet is a huge commitment and I just can’t commit to this right now.

Because a cat isn’t like a possession. It’s a living creature with physical and emotional needs, and the discussion of its future was made during your engagement. Just like a relationship can end if you change your mind about whether you want kids, this can end it as well. You are in the wrong completely.

OP- So what is the solution? Should I sacrifice my comfort and just agree to the cat?

How is a cat infringing on your comfort? Cats are sweet and easy to care for. This is like a child to your partner. You need to tell partner how you feel.

[Anonymous]

OP says whatever she thinks will get her what she wants in the short term, without thinking about consequences. And she makes strong decisions based on whims without evidence. I guess she’s very good looking, because the DH has no other reason to be with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to all saying divorce and that my DH would divorce me, you all are being ridiculous and overreacting. We love each other very much and my DH would never divorce me over a cat. He loves his cat but he loves me more.

You’ve been told you are in the wrong. Why exactly did you post here? Are you looking for a real answer or just going to dig your heels in and hurt your partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before getting married, I told my fiance that I would be ok with taking in his cat to our new place. At the time, I really was ok with it and didn’t mind it. I didn’t love the idea but I’ve seen how much he loves his cat so I was willing to take him in. His cat is ‘temporarily’ at his parents home and he’s just waiting for me to tell him to bring the cat to our place.

Now that we’re married and settled in, he keeps asking me when to take the cat in and I keep postponing it, however I know that I just can’t handle living full time with a cat. I know that I previously agreed to bringing the cat in and that he’ll handle most of the work related to the cat but now that I’ve thought about it, I just can’t imagine taking care of a pet.

I haven’t told him how I feel yet since I don’t know how to bring up the topic as I know that he’ll be upset about it. Any advice? And do you think I’m being unreasonable about this?

I should add that the cat is being taken care of and loved by his parents and siblings. Whenever we go visit them, he gets to play with him so that might be a good compromise instead of us taking him in full time?

Before I point out that you're a fscking monster... Why not? Are you allergic? What is your reasoning?

OP- I just can’t live with a cat. Why am I a monster for changing my mind about something? Having a pet is a huge commitment and I just can’t commit to this right now.

Because a cat isn’t like a possession. It’s a living creature with physical and emotional needs, and the discussion of its future was made during your engagement. Just like a relationship can end if you change your mind about whether you want kids, this can end it as well. You are in the wrong completely.

OP- So what is the solution? Should I sacrifice my comfort and just agree to the cat?

How is a cat infringing on your comfort? Cats are sweet and easy to care for. This is

like a child to your partner. You need to tell partner how you feel.

OP doesn’t have a problem with cats! The IDEA of a cat makes her uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to all saying divorce and that my DH would divorce me, you all are being ridiculous and overreacting. We love each other very much and my DH would never divorce me over a cat. He loves his cat but he loves me more.

You’ve been told you are in the wrong. Why exactly did you post here? Are you looking for a real answer or just going to dig your heels in and hurt your partner?

She knows she’s wrong, so she wants someone to tell her she’s right so she can feel better. You can tell from the first post that she is someone who is used to playing the victim to win sympathy and get what she wants whenever she is mildly inconvenienced by consequences of her selfish exploitative lies. (Her husband is obviously a doormat, since he hasn’t brought his cat home yet,)

I’m sure someone will oblige and then OP will lecture the other 90% of posters about how cruel they all are.

[Anonymous]

If there was no existing cat, it would be fine for you to say that you didn't want one. But there is an existing cat -- a living being to whom your DH is committed and that you knew about before marriage. The cat needs to be allowed to come home.

[Anonymous]

On what planet is living with a cat some huge imposition. They don’t need any special attention the way dogs do. You sound like a completely unreasonable idiot and you better hope your husband loves you as much as you think he does. Everything tends to be rosy at the beginning and you’re just now showing him what you really are.

Oh and you do sound like a troll so you’re also an idiot in that respect.

[Anonymous]

Ugh
flip flopping on relatively serious life stuff