Nowhere for child to sit at birthday party/bullying issues.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is a little wimpy. Sorry.

My daughter is 7. There have been plenty of times when there have not been enough seats. She has sat alone. We have sat on the side. Another kid shared a seat with her.

I’m sorry if he has been bullied at school but this party seems like no big deal. Your kid kind of overreacted. Host offered him a seat. He didn’t take it so another kid took it.

I also have 2 boys. Boys push and roughhouse. Your son really needs to toughen up. This chair situation really does not seem like a big deal.

I’m actually having a party and have too many guests. I may be a chair short. I told my friend and she already offered that her child does not need a chair. I told my own child she may have to stand. She said she can sit with a friend and share a chair.

[Anonymous]

So, in that situation I would have turned to an adult on their phone and said, "Excuse me, could my son use this chair for a few minutes so he can eat pizza?"

Nobody would say no to that.

Also, OP, get hand sanitizer to squirt on your kid in situations like this. You treated him like a baby by taking him to wash his hands, and then got upset with him that he acted like a baby.

[Anonymous]

The other parents who took seat were rude but your son needs to toughen up or go with the flow a little. He should not be whining over a chair especially being school aged. Have you had him tested for autism or anxiety? He needs some coping mechanisms.

Maybe have your spouse take him to these type of events as they seem to fluster you.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you both need to toughen up a bit. It was a 6 yo birthday party, not lunch at the club. You don’t save your seat with your coat in a melee.

[Anonymous]

The host did offer your kid a seat.

I’m assuming she invited the class or all the boys. It doesn’t sound like you or your son knew many people at the party.

Even at a good friend’s party, you can feel left out. My dd, then 6, went to a good family friend’s birthday party. We were the only non school friend and all the little girls ran off without DD. My friend, the host, tried to bring DD to the other girls but they ignored DD. I know she felt bad but she didn’t cry. We left early.

I’m in my forties and there are some parties I have a great time and others where I wish I didn’t go. I tend to hate going to parties of some of dh’s work colleagues. Some are fun and I know people. Other times I am forcing myself to mingle and it is painful.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the other parents knew what was happening. I’m a person who is sort of pathological about looking out for people who seem to be upset, and OP I don’t think I would have understood how to help you. Because you’ve said your son passed up several chairs and was specifically offered one that he refused to take. And you said you were sitting somewhere. No one would understand the cost thing without having it explained to them. It’s not fair to expect them to.

So even if I was a parent who wanted to help, I don’t think I would have really known what the tantrum was about or that giving up my chair could help unless you asked me directly (I would of course say yes).

I think you and your son were really feeding off each other on this one. It was tough, but I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think. We’ve all been the one with a kid breaking down at a birthday party. No biggie. Better luck next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think the other parents knew what was happening. I’m a person who is sort of pathological about looking out for people who seem to be upset, and OP I don’t think I would have understood how to help you. Because you’ve said your son passed up several chairs and was specifically offered one that he refused to take. And you said you were sitting somewhere. No one would understand the cost thing without having it explained to them. It’s not fair to expect them to.

So even if I was a parent who wanted to help, I don’t think I would have really known what the tantrum was about or that giving up my chair could help unless you asked me directly (I would of course say yes).

I think you and your son were really feeding off each other on this one. It was tough, but I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think. We’ve all been the one with a kid breaking down at a birthday party. No biggie. Better luck next time.

Yeah I would not notice if a kid was upset. I think there is always a crying or upset kid.

If I was talking to another parent and something was happening behind me about a chair, I would not have noticed.

Even for kids I do notice, I may ask and try to help, like the host. Everything OP did seems fine. OP’s kid was embarrassed for crying. He felt bad about his chair. Op didn’t grab a chair when she still could and the boy didn’t take the chair when offered by the host. What more does op want?

[Anonymous]

I’m stuck on why , when your son was offered a chair by the host but he didn’t want to sit in it because he was flustered and upset, and another child eventually sat in it , you mention “and that child’s parents did nothing about it”.

Should the chair remain empty in case your son decides he wants it? Should the other child have to stand? I don’t get this part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Also, OP, get hand sanitizer to squirt on your kid in situations like this. You treated him like a baby by taking him to wash his hands, and then got upset with him that he acted like a baby.

I was going to point this part out also, that is a preschool party activity, where the mothers take their children to the sink to wash their hands.

Your son is an elementary school. He should go to the table and sit with the other kids and eat pizza with them. Had he done that, he wouldn’t have lost his initial seat you put his coat on. Encourage him to be more independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m stuck on why , when your son was offered a chair by the host but he didn’t want to sit in it because he was flustered and upset, and another child eventually sat in it , you mention “and that child’s parents did nothing about it”.

Should the chair remain empty in case your son decides he wants it? Should the other child have to stand? I don’t get this part.

Yes, the host did do something. What else could host do?

I have 3 kids and have hosted many parties. That eating and cake time is very fast. You serve, you eat, you sing, you hand out cupcakes, then hand out favors and then people leave.

[Anonymous]

This is an example of how I am amazed that men rule the world when little boys are such a weepy, wild mess.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just pull your kid out of this school, OP? You clearly dislike these people from saying they are all redshirted to accusing the parents of being insensitive compared to your friends. You have taken a nonevent, minus the fact that your son is a bit of a diva, and made it into a huge deal and tied it to what I assume is real bullying. This is not helpful for your DS, or yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just pull your kid out of this school, OP? You clearly dislike these people from saying they are all redshirted to accusing the parents of being insensitive compared to your friends. You have taken a nonevent, minus the fact that your son is a bit of a diva, and made it into a huge deal and tied it to what I assume is real bullying. This is not helpful for your DS, or yourself.

Her kid is only in kindergarten. She needs to place blame somewhere. I have two boys and they have plenty of friends who were born the year prior who are in their grade. They were mostly summer or fall birthdays. There is no difference.

Op and her child both seem socially awkward. She is raising a wimp. Buck up, lady.

[Anonymous]

Your boy is only 5. Shake it off. It sounds like he was already over stimulated from the party and the chair mismatch was too much on him as he was overwhelmed. It’s hard for 5 year olds. He’ll get better with time. Probably just remove yourselves and go or eat elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an example of how I am amazed that men rule the world when little boys are such a weepy, wild mess.

When my DD did CYO soccer and it was still co-ed in K and 1st grade I had the same thought. I’d never seen so many screaming, crying boys in one place before I watched them play children’s soccer.

Back on topic: OP, your kid may be neurodiverse, and that’s ok, and you may be out of your depth socially, and that’s ok, too. Now you have the information you need to regroup and go in with a new attitude next time. As weird as you might feel, most parents didn’t notice and aren’t even going to think about it past today.

Maybe DH can go to the next party instead so your DS can feel like he’s getting a fresh start. And if you know redshirting is common for privates in your area, you can try public or parochial next year.