Nowhere for child to sit at birthday party/bullying issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were all these older boys from the actual class?

My Dd is my youngest and we know a lot of kids who are both younger and older. We would invite a large age range to parties. I highly doubt all the boys were 6-7. Seems like a big exaggeration for kindergarten. 6 maybe but OP’s kid will also be turning 6 sometime this year.

I have a friend whose son is an August birthday but he is huge. The dad is 6’8”. They kept him back because he was socially immature. He is like 7 and looks like he is 10. He acts 5.

I don’t even get why the ages matter. This is a birthday party not a classroom and the host can invite whomever they want regardless of age.

As far as the host, seems polite and attentive in that when a chair was needed, host found one and offered.

As far as other parents, can’t see what they did wrong either. There were chairs for kid and kid refused. Why would adults keep offering after that?

As far as another kid “taking” OP’s kid’s chair, kids were six. Birthday parties are full of overstimulation and excitement. I doubt anyone even realized the chair was saved. Lesson learned for OP. Either stay with the chair or live with what’s left when you are ready to sit. OP could have either had her kid go to the bathroom alone or use the hand sanitizer. If neither worked for her then she should have taken her kid before everyone sat down or lived with whatever chairs were left.

Party sounds like it was really fun. OP sounds like the mom of an oldest at their first group birthday party. In the future they will know what to expect and make their decisions accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said: I took my 5-year-old DS to a birthday party today for a 6 y/o boy in his class. The boys were wild - just insane. Some of them were 6 turning 7...

I bet the "6 turning 7 kids" are redshirted kids who will be turning 7 in the spring so they are at most a full year older than her boy who turned 5 this past summer.

I do think the whole "boys will be boys" thing is an excuse for parents who misunderstand positive parenting and don't want to put in the effort to actually discipline their children; however I also think that OP sounds like a pushover and really should have either asked someone for a seat or found an empty chair and shoved her kid in next to where he wanted to sit. She's not the first person in the world this has happened to. I have a girl who up until 3rd grade was always one of the only girls at an all boy party, she stood up for herself, and when she couldn't, I stood up for her.

OP, your child is clearly on the younger end of kids which means he is going to need to learn to be loud and be more assertive.

All of that said, OP never came back, so it's entirely possible that she's just the same person who for the past week or so has been posting a ton of anti boy-mom posts and has been sock puppeting this thread.

Saving a seat then melting down about it is odd behavior. Never seem that as the cause op upset at a party. Usually it’s injury related. Given that OP hasn’t come back i agree and think this thread smells off.

We have been to a million parties. I posted above that I’m very inclusive and always invited the class or all the boys throughout elementary school.

I have one kid who always sits next to the birthday kid or friends would probably push someone out of the way or move altogether to sit next to DS. I have seen birthday child move to sit next to DS.

Then I have other kids who are less assertive or probably less popular. They sit where there is room and usually it is next to some other friends or acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said: I took my 5-year-old DS to a birthday party today for a 6 y/o boy in his class. The boys were wild - just insane. Some of them were 6 turning 7...

I bet the "6 turning 7 kids" are redshirted kids who will be turning 7 in the spring so they are at most a full year older than her boy who turned 5 this past summer.

I do think the whole "boys will be boys" thing is an excuse for parents who misunderstand positive parenting and don't want to put in the effort to actually discipline their children; however I also think that OP sounds like a pushover and really should have either asked someone for a seat or found an empty chair and shoved her kid in next to where he wanted to sit. She's not the first person in the world this has happened to. I have a girl who up until 3rd grade was always one of the only girls at an all boy party, she stood up for herself, and when she couldn't, I stood up for her.

OP, your child is clearly on the younger end of kids which means he is going to need to learn to be loud and be more assertive.

All of that said, OP never came back, so it's entirely possible that she's just the same person who for the past week or so has been posting a ton of anti boy-mom posts and has been sock puppeting this thread.

Saving a seat then melting down about it is odd behavior. Never seem that as the cause op upset at a party. Usually it’s injury related. Given that OP hasn’t come back i agree and think this thread smells off.

We have been to a million parties. I posted above that I’m very inclusive and always invited the class or all the boys throughout elementary school.

I have one kid who always sits next to the birthday kid or friends would probably push someone out of the way or move altogether to sit next to DS. I have seen birthday child move to sit next to DS.

Then I have other kids who are less assertive or probably less popular. They sit where there is room and usually it is next to some other friends or acquaintances.

I just haven’t seen a kid meltdown that a seat “saved” was taken. Its first come first served and they usually find chairs and squeeze everyone in. OPs son was offered a seat, everyone did what they were supposed to. He probably has issues not getting his way or some rigidity that should be looked into.

[Anonymous]

While I agree the other parents suck, I don't think anything you describe is bullying, and I think it's odd to jump to that conclusion. It sounds like there were a bunch of hyper inconsiderate kids and zoned out inconsiderate adults. Not good, but certainly not bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took my 5-year-old DS to a birthday party today for a 6 y/o boy in his class. The boys were wild - just insane. Some of them were 6 turning 7, and were much into the rough and tumble/push-me-pull-you play. They were stealing each other's shoes and running amok; none of the parents seemed to care and were on their phones the entire time. After about an hour of this, it was time to eat. I took DS to the table area, which had limited seating in a sectioned-off area. There were about 16 kids there and maybe 20 chairs.

I put DS's jacket down on a chair and went away to wash his hands. When I came back, another little boy was sitting in his chair. Pizza was being handed out. DS was upset because someone else "took his spot" and started to get upset. The little boy's mom had her back turned the whole time and didn't seem to care or offer to grab another chair. I ushered him off to the side and looked around for another chair while he started to cry - there were maybe 1 or 2, but kids were still coming in, and then chairs went quickly. Suddenly there was nowhere for DS to sit and he was on the sidelines, he was a bit hot and cranky from running around and playing so I encouraged him to drink some water. He started to cry because he felt left out. None of the adults offered their seats; most were zoned out, eating pizza. So DS started to cry harder, and I (failingly) told him to calm down, drink some water, and I'll grab him a piece of pizza, to which he yelled, "NO!" the host then grabbed a seat and encouraged DS to sit. But he was embarrassed and didn't want to move, so he started to throw a tantrum. I sucked in this situation, and I told him if he didn't stop crying, we would go home - because he was causing a scene at this point, and other parents were just staring at him. Then, another little boy took the seat offered to him, and the other child's parent did nothing.

I was just embarrassed and felt so awkward. My kid was crying and felt left out. There was nowhere for him to sit, but plenty of adults could have stood or moved. I know I worsened the situation by telling him to stop crying or we were leaving. There were no extra chairs for me to grab, and the facility was firm that we couldn't move chairs from other zoned-off party areas. So we just sat at the side, with DS eating alone, and left early.

I don't know what I could have done differently. DS goes to a private school and has been the victim of bullying by older kids who have been pushing him on the playground and holding him down; he's had some minor injuries. The principal was notified that one child had to switch classes, and the other was sent home from school. DS is now afraid to go to school and sees the counselor. He has friends in our neighborhood, and we've signed him up for Cub Scouts, but he's not meshing with his peers at his private school (who are mostly 6+ and did an extra year of kindergarten or were red-shirted). Most of the kids at today's party were older boys.

I would love to hear suggestions from other parents on what to do. These parents were not part of my regular social circle, and I know any of my mom's friends would have offered a seat or grabbed a chair or something to help. They wouldn't have let a child feel left out and cry on the side while the parent looked around frantically, flustered and frustrated, trying to fix it.

I swear this was the party next door to the one I attended this afternoon. The kids were insane!! They were screaming, banging on the glass see-through window, banging on the walls, standing on tables and throwing stuff everywhere. They were absolute animals and not ONE adult made a move to put an end to that crap. If that was the party I attended, I would have taken my child and left. They were also rude and called two kids from our party dummies in the laser tag arena. Shame on parents who choose not to parent and shame on those kids for acting like fools when I KNOW they knew better. They were all from a private school or club sports and all caucasian if that matters any. Actually it does because I feel like everyone is very afraid to tell a caucasian child or a group of children to stop behaving badly. It seems to me like they are allowed to do what they want and nobody really cares. Maybe they do not want to say no to them or give them a complex. I am Asian for reference.

[Anonymous]

I have not read all the responses but just have to say that everyone saying OP should have just used hand sanitizer is the reason there is a norovirus outbreak right now!

Soap and water kills it, hand sanitizer does not. Not washing hands before eating at a Kindergarten party is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read all the responses but just have to say that everyone saying OP should have just used hand sanitizer is the reason there is a norovirus outbreak right now!

Soap and water kills it, hand sanitizer does not. Not washing hands before eating at a Kindergarten party is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

+1 the no hand washing people tell me everything i need to know about them

[Anonymous]

This sounds like an overreaction on your part and your child’s part. You are both very sensitive - it’s a bday party - you walked away - there were plenty of chairs. I am sorry that your was upset by the situation, but your job is to teach your child to roll with the punches and be flexible and not let the little things ruin their day. If you don’t do this quickly there will be many issues in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There were 20 seats and 16 kids? What was the problem?

The extra seats were taken up by other parents - and they didn’t move when they were done. They just stayed chatting.

Wow, that’s wild. I’ve never seen a parent sit at a kids table. It’s a known thing it’s for the children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There were 20 seats and 16 kids? What was the problem?

The extra seats were taken up by other parents - and they didn’t move when they were done. They just stayed chatting.

Wow, that’s wild. I’ve never seen a parent sit at a kids table. It’s a known thing it’s for the children

Yeah, I've never seen moms sitting down and chowing down on pizza the way OP describes.

[Anonymous]

I have two children and I've never been to a children's party where parents sit down and eat. You stand up, help the host, assist the kids if they need help, and chat with the other parents. Not stuff your face with pizza. So gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two children and I've never been to a children's party where parents sit down and eat. You stand up, help the host, assist the kids if they need help, and chat with the other parents. Not stuff your face with pizza. So gross.

OP’s reporting is emotional, not accurate. After the original chair was taken, there were 1-2 chairs. They stood by while other kids took them instead of taking one. Then the host offered a chair and kid didn’t take it. It was only after this that kid was without a chair.

After kid refused host’s offer of a chair, why should other guests offer a chair. I mean at that point it’s a parent issue to solve, not the problem of other guests.

[Anonymous]

Parent flipped out and it spilled over to kid. Wait till you start trying to save chairs at a pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These parents suck, and so did the host for not managing her party better.

And we would have left...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There were 20 seats and 16 kids? What was the problem?

The extra seats were taken up by other parents - and they didn’t move when they were done. They just stayed chatting.

Wow, that’s wild. I’ve never seen a parent sit at a kids table. It’s a known thing it’s for the children

Yeah, I've never seen moms sitting down and chowing down on pizza the way OP describes.

I have. Their kid asks and they oblige.